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The Annual Resurrection - Elevenish Ways to Kill a Peep

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  katrix  •  6 years ago  •  7 comments

The Annual Resurrection - Elevenish Ways to Kill a Peep

Years ago, a 'viner named Celestina wrote a hilarious article, describing (with photos) of how she and her kids tried a variety of ways to kill Peeps.  It begins:

So, it’s Easter/Ostara/Spring Equinox/whateveryoucallit, and as usual the stores are full of symbolic representations of our gratitude for new life. Pastels, chocolate eggs, and the persistent Peeps. Yes, the gooey marshmallow “treats” which line up in their neat little rows behind their cellophane windows to peer blankly out into the world through their vacant eyes. They practically beg to be abused, with their conformist attitudes, insubstantial nature, and misprinted features. And, inspired by  this  effort, my family and I decided to accommodate their blatantly masochistic inclinations. Thus, the afternoon before Easter, we invested $2 in two packs of the “bunny” variety of Peeps, and proceeded to destroy them in the most creative ways we could imagine. What follows is a record of our efforts.


She left Newsvine long ago.  Every year around Easter, I resurrect her article so people can read it for the first time, or enjoy it for the eighth time - whatever. Luckily, it's still available on her blog site, now that Newsvine is defunct.  So, at the request of Trout Giggles, here it is - the annual resurrection of Elevenish Ways to Kill a Peep !

Enjoy!


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Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
1  Perrie Halpern R.A.    6 years ago

 
 
 
katrix
Sophomore Participates
1.1  seeder  katrix  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @1    6 years ago

We could start a war in here between people who think Peeps are edible and those who don't.  It seems to be like cilantro - either love it or hate it

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
1.2  Randy  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @1    6 years ago

I always thought that, as shown, the definitive way to murder a Peep was the microwave and I have no idea how people murdered Peeps (it has to be murder since Peeps are defenseless) before the microwave, except for maybe the Guillotine. I will state however, unequivocally, that the only true Peeps are Yellow Peeps. All other colored Peeps are only pretenders to the Peeps throne and are imitation, counterfeit Peeps and can NOT be considered to be true, purebred, authentic Peeps. They are all less then real Peeps. Period!

 
 
 
katrix
Sophomore Participates
1.2.1  seeder  katrix  replied to  Randy @1.2    6 years ago

And Easter Peeps are the only valid ones.  Now we have Halloween Peeps, Christmas Peeps, Valentines peeps  .. blasphemy, I say!

If you read Celestina's article, you'll see that most methods of murdering Peeps simply don't work. They are resilient, just like cockroaches and hot dogs.

If you can manage to eat them, they taste better when they're stale.  Or so I've been told.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Participates
1.2.2  Randy  replied to  katrix @1.2.1    6 years ago

I agree that the blaspheme-st Peeps are not real Peeps and are not Kosher for real Peep purists! Yes Peeps are better tasting slightly (but only slightly) stale, because their shell is more crunchy.

When the world comes to an end all that will be left will be cockroaches, Twinkies,  Cher and Yellow Peeps!

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
2  Krishna    6 years ago

Years ago, a 'viner named Celestina wrote a hilarious article, describing (with photos) of how she and her kids tried a variety of ways to kill Peeps.

OMG-- I remember that article! That was a long time ago....but IIRC one of the most viewed and most commented on articles on "the site whose name shall not be mentioned"!

 
 
 
katrix
Sophomore Participates
2.1  seeder  katrix  replied to  Krishna @2    6 years ago

There's no issue with mentioning Newsvine in a context like this, I hope.  Celestina transcends all that, with her amazing Peep story.

I was a little .. wondering? .. when, this year, when I went to find her blog site so I could post the link, i found major news sites with their 10 ways to kill a peep.  Was Celestina the catalyst ..  I hope so!  

but IIRC one of the most viewed and most commented on articles on "the site whose name shall not be mentioned"!

That's my flat out favorite article ever on NV.  Which is why I'm going to resurrect it in Newstalkers, too .. became it's that damn good.  Happy Easter, everyone!

 
 

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