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New policy for cheerleading team angers girls who made the squad

  

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Via:  jasper2529  •  6 years ago  •  115 comments

New policy for cheerleading team angers girls who made the squad

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A group of high school cheerleaders addressed officials at a board of education meeting in East Hanover Wednesday evening about their disappointment over a new policy for the team.

After cheerleading tryouts at Hanover Park High School in East Hanover were held April 13, some cuts were made. 

But when a parent complained about their child not being allowed on the team, the athletic director changed the policy to allow anyone who wants to be on the team to join. But this new policy is not seeing well with some cheerleaders.

The administration says that the change came due to an “irregularity in the selection process.”

So 10 members of the squad, backed by their parents, came to ask the board to reverse the policy so that team members are forced to earn their spot through hard work and tryouts.

“I came up here to state that I did not put in 18 months of work to lead up to this moment, just to be told it didn’t matter anymore,” says sophomore Jada Alcontara.

“I tried my hardest. Now everything is going away because of one child who did not make the team. And their parent complained so now all my hard work has been thrown out the window,” student Stephan Krueger says.



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Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
1  seeder  Jasper2529    6 years ago

The parents tell News 12 New Jersey that they sent letters to the principal and athletic director complaining about the policy. They say that the principal then threatened to disband the squad all together.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.1  devangelical  replied to  Jasper2529 @1    6 years ago

I held a few cheerleader tryouts in my backseat at the drive-in back in high school. 

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
1.1.1  seeder  Jasper2529  replied to  devangelical @1.1    6 years ago

Thanks for stopping by to tell us about your high school sexcapades. Do you have anything of value to contribute to the topic of this seed?

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.1.2  devangelical  replied to  Jasper2529 @1.1.1    6 years ago

16 years ago my wife and daughter came to me wanting $6K for cheerleader camp and uniforms. Fuck no I said. My daughter wasn't going to be a peer pressured sperm receptacle for a bunch of neanderthals that couldn't get thru school academically. My daughter thanked me for being a stricter father several years later.

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
1.1.3  seeder  Jasper2529  replied to  devangelical @1.1.2    6 years ago
16 years ago my wife and daughter came to me wanting $6K for cheerleader camp and uniforms. Fuck no I said.

$6K for a high school extracurricular activity? I'd have done what you did! When I was in high school and when my kids were in high school, the school districts paid for the cheerleaders' uniforms and the girls' phys ed teacher was also the cheerleading coach.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Quiet
1.1.4  magnoliaave  replied to  Jasper2529 @1.1.3    6 years ago

It was probably not sponsored by the school.  One, usually, sleeps dormitory style, all meals provided and is for a week.

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
1.1.5  seeder  Jasper2529  replied to  magnoliaave @1.1.4    6 years ago
It was probably not sponsored by the school.

I won't speculate about whether or not devangelical's daughter wanted to go to a private camp or one that was sponsored by his school district. Maybe he'll clarify it for us.

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
1.1.6  GaJenn78  replied to  Jasper2529 @1.1.3    6 years ago

It can be expensive but $6000???? Holy crap!!!! Our total cheer costs are about $700, but they divide it all up in payments running from March through the 1st day of school in August so the financial blow isn't as hard.

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
1.1.7  GaJenn78  replied to  Jasper2529 @1.1.5    6 years ago

Our cheer camp costs are covered in what we as parents pay. It's not sleep away camp but it is for a whole week and usually held at the high school or at a competition cheer academy. I know the varsity squad does their camp at W. Ga University but again, it's not overnight and cost is covered in what the parents pay in cheer dues

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
1.1.10  GaJenn78  replied to  Kathleen @1.1.9    6 years ago

My girl just got back from Universal with her 8th grade dance team :-)

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Participates
1.1.11  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Jasper2529 @1.1.3    6 years ago

Our cheerleaders used to have car washes and bake sales to raise money for uniforms.  At least four of them were straight A students and would tutor others, the money they earned put towards the fund.  

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
1.1.12  Spikegary  replied to  magnoliaave @1.1.4    6 years ago

Ny niece (and God Daughter) coaches a cheer team, though that has nothing to do with being tied to a school sports program-it's a competiton of its own against other cheering squads.

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
1.1.13  GaJenn78  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @1.1.11    6 years ago

We are having a fundraiser at one of the local restaurants this month. The restaurant is a sponsor to our HS and they are donating a portion of the evenings proceeds to the cheer squads. We also do little warrior camp for the littles aged 4-11. I'm not sure if they do car washes but thats a great idea!

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Participates
1.1.14  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  GaJenn78 @1.1.13    6 years ago

With car washes, usually fast food places like McD's will donate their parking lot and water.  It increases their business for the day and is a tax write off.

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
1.1.15  GaJenn78  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @1.1.14    6 years ago

Thanks for the info! I will bring it up at the next parent meeting! :-)

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
1.1.16  GaJenn78  replied to  Spikegary @1.1.12    6 years ago

We have a place called "Sting Rays" here in Ga where they start them as young as 4 for competitive cheer. Most high schools around here have a comp squad, ours does too. My daughter just does sideline cheer for football and basketball. Girls can tryout for comp squad along with either Freshman, JV, or Varsity though. One of my daughters friends just made the comp squad and varsity as an in coming freshman. But she has been doing this since she was 5 and my daughter just started last season in 8th grade. She'll probably never get a cheer scholarship to college (my daughter) but she was accepted into the MAGNET program so she will be fine LOL. MAGNET is pretty much a 4 year International studies program consisting of AP courses. Cheer will just keep her busy and active and it will look good on college applications 

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Participates
1.1.17  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  GaJenn78 @1.1.15    6 years ago

Happy

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.1.18  devangelical  replied to  Jasper2529 @1.1.5    6 years ago

The cheer camp was at an all inclusive resort for like 10 days/2 weeks at about $2K. Sponsored by the school district, staffed by the cheer coaches, women teachers, and chaperoned by some of the mothers. The uniforms were a fucking closet and dresser full of color coordinated you name it. Skirts, sweaters, socks, shoes, jackets, etc, etc, etc, etc. An entire fucking name embroidered wardrobe for days at just under $4K. Available by approved special order through only one store in the city. A fucking racket.

 
 
 
SteevieGee
Professor Silent
1.2  SteevieGee  replied to  Jasper2529 @1    6 years ago

“I tried my hardest. Now everything is going away because of one child who did not make the team.

I, like, worked super hard and now they're letting that bitch on the team.  All my hard work is, like, going away.  Waaah.

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
1.2.1  seeder  Jasper2529  replied to  SteevieGee @1.2    6 years ago
I, like, worked super hard and now they're letting that bitch on the team.  All my hard work is, like, going away.  Waaah.

I believe you missed the point. Why should those who don't make the cut be rewarded? This applies to academics AND sports. What life skill lesson are parents teaching their children when they interfere with decisions after the fact  just because their prince or princess didn't qualify?

 
 
 
Greg Jones
Professor Participates
1.2.2  Greg Jones  replied to  SteevieGee @1.2    6 years ago

Yep....mama is teaching her precious child to whine and cry and bully her way to the top. What a life lesson! Face Palm

 
 
 
SteevieGee
Professor Silent
1.2.3  SteevieGee  replied to  Jasper2529 @1.2.1    6 years ago

What I think we have here is some girls complaining not because they can't be cheerleaders but because someone who they feel is inferior to them is being allowed to participate.  How are their accomplishments diminished because of that?  My guess is that these are the East Hanover mean girls.

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
1.2.4  Tacos!  replied to  Jasper2529 @1.2.1    6 years ago
Why should those who don't make the cut be rewarded?

Why does there need to be a cut? I understand if there are 50 girls trying out for 10 spots, but it sounds like there's 11 girls trying out for 10 spots. Just let the 11th girl on the squad. Share the love a little.

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
1.2.5  seeder  Jasper2529  replied to  Tacos! @1.2.4    6 years ago
be a cut? I understand if there are 50 girls trying out for 10 spots, but it sounds like there's 11 girls trying out for 10 spots. Just let the 11th girl on the squad. Share the love a little.

From the article:

After cheerleading tryouts at Hanover Park High School in East Hanover were held April 13, some cuts were made. 

More than one girl didn't qualify, but only one parent complained.

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
1.2.6  Tacos!  replied to  Jasper2529 @1.2.5    6 years ago
More that one girl didn't qualify, but only one mother complained.

We still don't know how many, though. Maybe it's 1 or 2. Maybe it's 30. We also didn't hear a lot about the process. If this was some cliquish popularity contest, then it probably should be examined.

 
 
 
zuksam
Junior Silent
1.2.7  zuksam  replied to  Tacos! @1.2.6    6 years ago
If this was some cliquish popularity contest, then it probably should be examined.

That's what they usually are.

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
1.2.8  GaJenn78  replied to  Tacos! @1.2.6    6 years ago

The process here was it was a 3 day cheer clinic where they are taught a couple chants with the moves and they learn a dance, on day 4 they have a closed tryout where the girls go in the gym in groups of 4, do a jump of their choice, any tumbling they would like to show and they do the chants and dance. My daughter never cheered before and made the 8th grade squad last year and just made the 9th grade squad for this upcoming school year. She has danced but can not tumble and she's definitely not a strong jumper. I know there were 20 girls who tried out for the 9th grade squad and only 13 made it. That surprised me because just about everyone from her 8th grade squad tried out and I saw that last years 9th grade squad had about 20 girls on it.  

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
1.2.9  Tacos!  replied to  GaJenn78 @1.2.8    6 years ago

With cheer in particular, I think you have a lot of flexibility as to how many students make the squad. It's not like baseball where you can only play 9 at a time and you can't freely substitute.

But again, each situation is different. Sometimes you only have gear for a certain number, or you can't insure more than a certain number, or conference rules have a cap. It sounds like in this story they clearly had some wiggle room.

 
 
 
Atheist יוחנן בן אברהם אבינו
Junior Quiet
1.2.10  Atheist יוחנן בן אברהם אבינו  replied to  Tacos! @1.2.9    6 years ago
It's not like baseball where you can only play 9 at a time and you can't freely substitute.

You can, indeed, freely substitute but you cannot do it more than once per player.  IOW, replacing a player means that player cannot re-enter the game.  But you can use any other player on the bench until you run out of players. 

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
1.2.11  Spikegary  replied to  Jasper2529 @1.2.1    6 years ago

It's the 'everybody gets a trophy' mentality.  It does nothing but make mediocrity the standard to work for.  It's sad that parents are so busy trying to be liekd by their kids that they don't insist on the kids working hard for something they want.

 
 
 
Transyferous Rex
Freshman Quiet
1.2.12  Transyferous Rex  replied to  Atheist יוחנן בן אברהם אבינו @1.2.10    6 years ago

Whatever substitution rules are being followed, roster size impacts a baseball team more in practice. Every kid added to the roster means fewer cuts, throws, grounders, reps, etc., for the other players. There is a magical number in there, that allows you to run an efficient practice. Too many, or too few, and the efficiency declines. Whereas, in football, warm bodies are needed and helpful, in baseball, warm bodies take time and reps from other players. 

 
 
 
Atheist יוחנן בן אברהם אבינו
Junior Quiet
1.2.13  Atheist יוחנן בן אברהם אבינו  replied to  Transyferous Rex @1.2.12    6 years ago

Sure, in little league that would be the problem.  In the big leagues, however, there are limits to team size--otherwise managers would fill their rosters with as many sluggers and relief pitchers or other "specialty" players as they could fit into the dugouts and bull pens.

 
 
 
Transyferous Rex
Freshman Quiet
1.2.14  Transyferous Rex  replied to  Atheist יוחנן בן אברהם אבינו @1.2.13    6 years ago

This isn't the big leagues we are talking about. We are talking about kids who, for the most part, get their reps inside the confines of a scheduled practice, then are off to other activities. In that setting, trying to workout too many kids takes away quality reps. The pros are getting paid to go to the cage, or to have someone hit them some fungo, even if they are filling out the roster. They are getting their reps. High school kids? Some make the effort to hit the cage after practice, to get some additional cuts in. The bulk get what they get in practice. 

As an aside, 1/3 to 1/2 of the MLB roster is pitching. And, the JV squads in the pros aren't on the same field, they are off somewhere else, getting their reps in, waiting on the call up. Few high schools have the luxury of being able to split the JV and varsity practice schedules up. Most likely, they are all on the same field, with 2-3 coaches. Time management is important everywhere. It's really important in a baseball practice. 

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
1.2.15  Tacos!  replied to  Atheist יוחנן בן אברהם אבינו @1.2.10    6 years ago
that player cannot re-enter the game.  But you can use any other player on the bench until you run out of players.

Depends on your league rules, but the point is you could potentially run out of players, so you have to be careful about who plays and when. Not every activity is like that.

 
 
 
It Is ME
Masters Guide
1.2.16  It Is ME  replied to  Tacos! @1.2.4    6 years ago

10 is 10....not 11. Why not 14, 20, 30 ?

I know, lets let ALL teams keep more bodies than they set. That way NO ONES FEELINGS GET HURT !

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
1.2.18  seeder  Jasper2529  replied to    6 years ago
It's the liberal mentality, everyone gets a trophy.

This teaches a wrong lesson about life's realities.

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
1.2.19  Hal A. Lujah  replied to  Jasper2529 @1.2.18    6 years ago

This teaches a wrong lesson about life's realities.

Let’s be honest - life has realities that will never be fair.  Sports trophies are a weak place to start if you want to illuminate that message.  Yeah, it sucks that Christina made the cheerleading squad just by asking, but Chantelle didn’t even try out because her single mom couldn’t afford the $35 uniform.

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
3  charger 383    6 years ago

another case of everybody gets a trophy

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
3.1  Tacos!  replied to  charger 383 @3    6 years ago
another case of everybody gets a trophy

If this were a competition to see who was best, I think it would be different. This looks like it's just to see who gets to be on the squad. That strikes me as a lower bar. I think in high school sports or clubs, you should be trying to see how many kids you can take, not how few.

Obviously, if 50 kids want 10 slots, that's different, but if we're talking about one or two kids, I see no reason to exclude them unless there's some reason for a hard cap at 10.

 
 
 
zuksam
Junior Silent
3.1.1  zuksam  replied to  Tacos! @3.1    6 years ago

Why not 50 spots they could just rotate who gets to cheer at the games, it doesn't seem to me that having 50 kids at the practices would be a problem. If they're going to a cheer competition then they can pick the best to go so they can stay within competition rules and maybe win. 

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
3.1.2  charger 383  replied to  Tacos! @3.1    6 years ago

wonder if number of slots was stated at the start of try outs?

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Quiet
4  magnoliaave    6 years ago

Why have tryouts?  Don't her parents realize she will be ostracized by the others? 

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
4.1  GaJenn78  replied to  magnoliaave @4    6 years ago

I was just thinking that. I feel sorry for the girl whose mom complained. 

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
4.1.1  seeder  Jasper2529  replied to  GaJenn78 @4.1    6 years ago
I feel sorry for the girl whose mom complained.

So do I. Nothing says, "Thanks for making me a pariah, Mom" more than an offended mother being the only one who made a big deal about nothing. 

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
4.1.2  GaJenn78  replied to  Jasper2529 @4.1.1    6 years ago

My middle daughter cheers. She just made the 9th grade squad, but if she didn't make it, then oh well. I would never go to the school complaining. I have always taught my girls that disappointments are a part of life. Hell, my oldest didn't make the volleyball team when she tried out a couple years ago. She brushed herself off and started doing sports medicine at the high school and joined the XC team. :-)

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
4.1.3  seeder  Jasper2529  replied to  GaJenn78 @4.1.2    6 years ago
I have always taught my girls that disappointments are a part of life.

IMO, that's one of the best gifts we can give our children. The "participation trophy" mentality has created a generation that cannot handle rejection and disappointment.

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
4.2  Tacos!  replied to  magnoliaave @4    6 years ago

I've coached sports at big schools and small. If I would have a need for 12 players and 13 kids came out, I'd generally take all 13. Obviously, at a bigger school, if 50 came out, I had to make hard choices. High school shouldn't be just about making opportunities for some small select few if there's no pressing reason for it.

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
4.2.2  Tacos!  replied to  Release The Kraken @4.2.1    6 years ago
Did you wear polyester coach shorts

Oh HELL no! God, how gross are those things?

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Participates
4.3  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  magnoliaave @4    6 years ago

I wouldn't be surprised if this girl does a basket toss or tops a pyramid and gets torpedoed by the rest of the squad.  That happened to a co worker of mine when she cheered and she broke her leg.  Hers was an accident, but with this poor girl, it could end up being a planned accident.

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
4.3.1  GaJenn78  replied to  Paula Bartholomew @4.3    6 years ago

Oh wow! I didn't even think about that!  

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
5  Tacos!    6 years ago

Why is it so important to keep one kid off the team? Do these girls or their mommies imagine that this cheer squad is going to be the path to a professional career as an elite cheerleader? If cheer is such a wonderful thing, why not let this one other kid share in the experience? Who is that going to hurt?

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
5.1  Texan1211  replied to  Tacos! @5    6 years ago

the people running it, and the girls and boys participating in it, wait the best product possible.

Do you think everyone should be able to join the band and play in concerts even if they can't play?

Does everyone get to be the starting QB?

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
5.1.1  Tacos!  replied to  Texan1211 @5.1    6 years ago
the best product possible

They're only picking the team. They still have to practice and perform. People improve.

even if they can't play?

I have had multiple teams that I coached where the kid who had never played before ended up being one of our best players. In other cases, it became clear to that player that they weren't the best and they found some other way to contribute. It was still a positive experience for everyone. Even professional sports teams have hall-of-famers and guys who are barely on the squad.

Does everyone get to be the starting QB?

That's a different issue.  Each team has it's own situation. Some programs are really competitive and others not so much. So who plays QB might matter a lot or a little. But here, we're just picking who gets to be part of the team, not who will be the lynchpin of that team's success or failure.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Quiet
5.2  magnoliaave  replied to  Tacos! @5    6 years ago

Let her work for the honor!  I always had to.....what makes her so special?

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
5.2.1  Tacos!  replied to  magnoliaave @5.2    6 years ago
Let her work for the honor!

We don't know this person didn't work for it. I saw a story on this on TV earlier and they were saying that 5 girls didn't make the cut. They had to score a certain amount of points and came up short. But we don't know anything about the significance of those points. I could speculate 100 different possible reasons, but I doubt there's much point in that. Maybe the extra points are scored only by girls willing to do dangerous moves (like flips over a hard wood or concrete surface).

I know people are pointing at the one parent, but how about the group of other parents and students who felt it necessary to go to the Board of Education and demand they intervene? Seems a little petty to me.

I mean honestly, is it really that important? Would the girls on the squad already seriously stop practicing and working out because these other girls are allowed on the team? Do they not have their own desire for excellence? That's kind of sad.

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
5.2.2  GaJenn78  replied to  Tacos! @5.2.1    6 years ago

I didn't know it was points awarded during tryouts I thought they were the girls minimum grade requirements. Wow! I totally read it wrong, oops. In the case of points then that seems fair to lower them for Freshman and JV squads. Unless of course the girl is a senior, that would suck being a senior and being stuck on the Freshman and JV squad

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
5.3  seeder  Jasper2529  replied to  Tacos! @5    6 years ago
Why is it so important to keep one kid off the team? Do these girls or their mommies imagine that this cheer squad is going to be the path to a professional career as an elite cheerleader? If cheer is such a wonderful thing, why not let this one other kid share in the experience? Who is that going to hurt?

Per the article, there were several girls who didn't make the cut, but only one parent complained.

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
5.3.1  Tacos!  replied to  Jasper2529 @5.3    6 years ago
there were several girls who didn't make the cut, but only one parent complained.

And it sounds like the athletic director at least thought that parent had a legitimate beef. The board of education, too. What makes them wrong?

 
 
 
321steve - realistically thinkin or Duu
Sophomore Participates
6  321steve - realistically thinkin or Duu     6 years ago

It sounds like perhaps there is more than meets the eye on this:

The school board says in a statement, “In order to facilitate a more inclusive program, the alignment between the various cheerleading squads would be modified to allow all interested students to be able to participate. This decision was made in the best interest of all students and was made to be as inclusive as possible.”

The board president says that they will discuss the matter and make a decision at a later date.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Quiet
6.1  magnoliaave  replied to  321steve - realistically thinkin or Duu @6    6 years ago

It's a big cop out!  Not everyone gets to be what they envision themselves to be and entitled to.  I coached and referred soccer,  Only in the minor league did we require every player would play one quarter.  Thereafter, it took dedication to learn and play the game properly and not join just to wear a uniform.

My oldest son won a soccer scholarship to UAB.  Was he the best?  No.  Did he play all the time?  No.  But, he worked his butt off.  He was loyal and when he did play....he earned it.

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
7  seeder  Jasper2529    6 years ago

Looks like the school district caved to the parent who complained:

 
 
 
Phoenyx13
Sophomore Silent
7.1  Phoenyx13  replied to  Jasper2529 @7    6 years ago
Looks like the school district caved to the parent who complained:

i'm not sure about "caving" in per se, from your link:

It is our understanding that the selection guidelines indicate that to be a member of the Black Squad, a person trying out would have to score an “87 or better” using the designated rubric. At the conclusion of the selection process, a total number of six students based on this criteria were eligible for the Black Squad. In order for the advisors to put together a viable squad, the score was arbitrarily lowered to a “78” thereby allowing for the addition of five cheerleaders

It almost sounds like they didn't have enough people to make a "viable" (not sure what that would mean in this case since i'm not a high school cheerleader lol, i would guess there would have to be a minimum number of people on the squad in order for the squad to operate.) squad. plus:

The high school administration consulted with the cheering advisors who indicated that this change would not create an undue burden on the program or their ability to properly supervise the students.

so it seems that it's not a big deal in the end to allow these extra people on the squad, is it ?

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Quiet
7.1.1  magnoliaave  replied to  Phoenyx13 @7.1    6 years ago

Yes!  Why work for anything? 

 
 
 
Phoenyx13
Sophomore Silent
7.1.2  Phoenyx13  replied to  magnoliaave @7.1.1    6 years ago
Yes!  Why work for anything?

well in case you missed it in the excerpt i provided:

In order for the advisors to put together a viable squad, the score was arbitrarily lowered to a “78” thereby allowing for the addition of five cheerleaders

 all that "work" would have been for nothing if those extra people were not admitted since they didn't have a "viable" squad without those extra people. So what are you complaining about again ?

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
8  Tacos!    6 years ago
“I came up here to state that I did not put in 18 months of work to lead up to this moment, just to be told it didn’t matter anymore,”

Hard work isn't everything. I've known some incredible athletes who were just ridiculously gifted and barely worked at all. 

“I tried my hardest. Now everything is going away because of one child who did not make the team. And their parent complained so now all my hard work has been thrown out the window,”

Anyway, I am reminded of the parable of the workers in the vineyard (Matthew 20: 1-16) . The owner of the vineyard goes looking for laborers to work in his field for a day for a certain wage. He gets some workers and pays them, but later in the day, more come and he pays them the same. With like an hour left in the day, still more come and he pays them the same. The people who have been working all day (or 18 months) complain that it's unfair. But the truth is, they were willing to put in that work for that pay and they got what they bargained for.

Same way here. This cheerleader works for 18 months to make the squad and she does. Expectation fulfilled. Hard work has not been wasted. Why do they need to begrudge someone else a little good fortune?

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Quiet
8.1  magnoliaave  replied to  Tacos! @8    6 years ago

That's why she worked her butt off because she knew that was what it took.  She didn't possess that incredible talent and I agree with her.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Quiet
11  magnoliaave    6 years ago

Geez......I tried out for cheerleader in high school.  We performed in front of the student body and they voted.  It was a popularity vote, basically, and I didn't make it.  I can't even begin to tell you how disappointed I was.  I sure didn't run home to Mama.  That's the breaks!  I got something even better.  I was chosen to be a Sugarette at half time during the Sugar Bowl game in N.O.

BTW.....the girls who won were much better than I.

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
13  charger 383    6 years ago

I have seen a cheerleading team that had a manager

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Quiet
14  Dismayed Patriot    6 years ago

I feel like there can be a compromise here. Much like you have Junior Varsity and Varsity, why not split up the cheerleaders, those who qualify into the varsity cheer program and anyone else who wants to join but can't pass the try outs can keep practicing in the JV division where they cheer on some of the other school sports like Cheri Oteri and Will Ferrell did on SNL for the chess clubs and math clubs. That's where they can work on their skills and school spirit and not be denied a spot on the JV team.

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
14.1  GaJenn78  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @14    6 years ago

Similar to our high school. We have a Freshman, JV, and Varsity squad. The girls can also just do football cheer or basketball cheer or both. But with that said, not everyone makes the squads. I had to provide my daughters grades at tryouts along with 3 teacher recommendations that were sealed in envelopes. We wouldn't know if the teachers gave a good or bad recommendation.

 
 
 
Sunshine
Professor Quiet
15  Sunshine    6 years ago

This is nuts.  Does everyone who worked hard to get an "A" get an "A"?

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Quiet
15.1  magnoliaave  replied to  Sunshine @15    6 years ago

And, does Mama squeal foul when baby girl's SAT score is not as high as SHE thinks it should be?

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
16  Freefaller    6 years ago

I'd view this as a self-improvement opportunity for the kid.  Workout, practice, become better and rock it next year.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
17  Perrie Halpern R.A.    6 years ago

I don't agree with this business of whining to get your own way..

That being said, I remember the tryouts for both cheerleading and the pom pom girls in high school, and they were really popularity contests. I don't know if that has changed or not. 

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
17.1  GaJenn78  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @17    6 years ago

I'm not sure. My daughter is well liked, but I wouldn't classify her as one of the "popular" kids like some of the other girls are. Same when I was in HS (I was never a cheerleader) I was just me.... I was friends with people of all "cliques" but I never belonged to one if that makes sense. My girl is the same. I call her my girl of many talents, she went from playing rec softball (and never played before) succeeding in that and decided to go out for cheer in 8th grade, she made it but she really didn't know a whole lot of the girls. The day before tryouts, she came home in tears saying she couldn't do it. I gave her a peptalk and she did it and made it :-) I wouldn't let her quit. If she didn't make it, then fine, but I wanted to make sure she tried and gave it her all.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
17.1.1  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  GaJenn78 @17.1    6 years ago

LOL, you sound a lot like me in high school. I pretty much got along with all the cliques. That being said, if you were not "popular" you were not going to be a cheerleader in my high school, but you also had to have the skill to pull off the stunts. 

My daughters school was very merit oriented, but they never tried to discourage the kids. For instance, they had two level of track. One that was competition oriented and the other for those who still wanted to run. One of my girls knew she was not good enough for the competition team, but she did sign up for the second tier team and enjoyed herself. The nice thing was that both teams trained together, so there was real school spirit. I liked that. 

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
17.1.2  JohnRussell  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @17.1.1    6 years ago

That is the thing. Without knowing what level of competition this New Jersey cheerleading team is involved in, it is hard to say how "tragic" it might be that someone was put on the team without "earning it". 

I saw the video of the girls on the team and they don't necessarily look like the most athletic bunch I have ever seen. 

I have the feeling there is a lot of petty drama going on in this story. 

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
17.1.3  GaJenn78  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @17.1.1    6 years ago

Thats awesome! My Anna joined XC knowing she wouldn't ever be the fastest(or letter in it) but enjoyed just belonging to the team. I think as far as cheer goes, popularity comes with it, but my Ali (the 8th grader) hasn't noticed it yet and I hope she just stays well liked. I didn't raise her to be a "mean girl" popular kid. Shes a brainiac and will also be doing the magnet program this upcoming school year. We do have the comp team as well, but she just does sideline cheer. No major stunts besides the small pyramid. 

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
17.1.4  GaJenn78  replied to  JohnRussell @17.1.2    6 years ago

I've seen the video and agree, but I find it hard to believe that only 5 girls made the cut in a HS cheer squad.... seems like what Tacos! said, if it wasn't a viable team (which to me would be 13-23 girls) why wouldn't they just try to make a viable squad. The other girls who didn't make it may have been friends of the other girls who just may have been having an off day. I think it's because the mom bitched that her kid didn't make it makes it "news" or whatever. Hell, it's people like that mom why we don't have dodge ball anymore in PE class. I loved dodge ball day!

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
18  JohnRussell    6 years ago

I have a nephew , who along with his wife have paid for all five of their kids to participate in sports. They are lucky , or you could say cursed, that all 5 of their kids have enough athletic ability to play on "club" teams. Club teams are the feeder organizations that set kids up to make their high school teams in the various sports. My nephews two sons that are in high school are both starting on varsity teams at very competitive Catholic schools. One of the boys is a sophomore and a starting player on the boys volleyball team that is currently ranked #1 in the state of Illinois. Another son plays varsity baseball and golf at another high school. One of their daughters is on the varsity basketball team at one of the largest all girls high schools in America, and the other daughter is entering high school in the fall as one of the highest rated volleyball players at her position in the area. The fifth child is a boy who plays baseball on a team that has played in national tournaments for the past 4 years. 

All 5 of their kids will be starters on high school sports teams that are upper echelon in the Chicago area.  The "downside"?  They spend 365 days a year for about 10 years now going from game to game, driving all over a vast metro area , and beyond. Their kids have played in tournaments all over the country. The financial cost has been immense. My nephew told me not long ago that they have paid well over 100,000 dollars for their five kids to be on club teams over the years. 

These girls in New Jersey don't seem to be competing at the level I am talking about, and I didnt see anything in the article that indicated they appear in competitions. There is a video of a girl literally crying into the microphone that her effort for 18 months will be lost if girls who didnt work as hard are let into the schools cheerleading program. 

If a girl who wasnt very good was allowed to represent the school in a competition in addition to or instead of a girl who had worked harder and longer I can see how that would be a big issue. But for someone to be given a uniform and allowed to just be there, perhaps in a background or second string role, I dont think is that horrible of an outcome. 

Mother McAuley H.S., where two of my nieces go, won the Illinois state volleyball championship a couple years ago. I watched it on tv and after the championship match each girl on the team was called up and given a trophy.  There were 19 girls.  I thought that was rather excessive as only six can play at a time. I asked my nephews wife, who is a volleyball coach herself why there were so many kids on the team , when they all don't play. She said that if you make it to JV as a sophomore , you are never again cut. They would rather have a program with 19 varsity players on the team than cut kids who have made the commitment to the school and the program when they were in 8th grade. Many of those 19 players know they will rarely if ever get into a game, but they want to be part of the team they have spent so much time with. 

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
18.1  Hal A. Lujah  replied to  JohnRussell @18    6 years ago

I'm glad I wasn't born with the obsessive sports gene.  I have friends like your nephew.  They and their two boys are obsessed with sports, and they spend a fortune in time and money because of it.  I went to their son's soccer game with them a few months ago.  As usual I was bored to death there, but watching the dad get so incredibly agitated over their level of play and the resulting loss was something to see.  He was frantically pacing around, looking like someone just ran off with his child.  There's no way that that kind of self induced stress balances out the occasional thrills of the game.  It reminds me of the guy who plays golf because he loves the game so much - even though he has wrapped three putters around a tree and tossed two drivers into the pond.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
18.1.1  JohnRussell  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @18.1    6 years ago

I like sports and I have to admit that it is cool to see my nephew (my nephew's son) be a starting player on a high school sports team that is ranked #1 in the state. 

But I think that going to all the games is nuts. My nephew and his wife and their five kids have all missed many family events , parties and occasions over the years because with five of them, there is literally a game or practice every day of the year. When you play a sport on a high level club team it is a year round thing, even when a sport is out of season the club teams play, there is no out of season for them. 

My nephew kind of married into this. His wife was on a state championship volleyball team in high school and she played volleyball in college. She was used to all this year round stuff and traveling all over the place to play sports and when they had kids get old enough to play she got him into it too. 

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
18.1.2  GaJenn78  replied to  JohnRussell @18.1.1    6 years ago

Sounds like they all belong to travel teams. That sucks. My SIL when she was younger belonged to a softball travel team. My husband never saw them because of practices and out of town games. It really sucks.

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
18.1.3  GaJenn78  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @18.1    6 years ago

Ha!!!!! we had one of those dads on the football team my daughter cheers for. I called him "mad dad". He was always running up to the fence to yell at his boy about something. 2nd to last game of the season, mad dad became concerned dad. His boy got injured breaking his leg in 3 places. Fell wrong and took a helmet to the leg making him land in a weird position. This is 8th grade football!!! It's crazy! My daughter happens to ride the bus and go to school with this kid otherwise I wouldn't know the extent of the injuries besides the sports rumor mill. Parents get crazy about sports.... I know they are hoping they will get noticed for a scholarship, but my girls are in it for the fun and experience. Putting these activities on their college apps will look great but I don't want their grades to ever suffer and if they start to, activities will get put on the back burner, but the school is good about the grade qualifications.

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
18.1.4  Hal A. Lujah  replied to  GaJenn78 @18.1.3    6 years ago

Call me crazy, but the whole idea of sports scholarships is whacky.  Obviously, some college sports draw huge crowds, but who really cares about friggin field hockey?  I was talking with a guy yesterday about his kid who is apparently very skilled at the high jump, and he's hoping for her to get a scholarship.  It makes no sense to me that a university has any financial incentive to give someone a break in tuition because they can pole vault.  And then you have these people that wax nostalgic about their name still being on some plaque in some random high school somewhere, because nobody in that district could jump as far as they did 20 years ago.  Seriously?  Let it go already.

 
 
 
GaJenn78
Sophomore Silent
18.1.5  GaJenn78  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @18.1.4    6 years ago

I get it, most college sports don't get on ESPN....HOWEVER..... I had no idea, but UGA has one of the best gymnastic teams in the nation, if you are watching the right channel you might catch a cheer comp or a gymnastic comp. Golf though? or Chess club???? Probably not so much. But there are scholarships out there for kids who excel. I would think the college carves out costs for them. With my daughters, they will get the HOPE scholarship and if my oldest wants to go away to college then she meets the requirements of a 3.8 GPA for a ZELL scholarship which pays for room and board in state.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Quiet
18.1.6  magnoliaave  replied to  GaJenn78 @18.1.3    6 years ago

Can't have bad grades and play sports at our highschool.  He is carrying A's though. And. has a part time job.

 
 
 
magnoliaave
Sophomore Quiet
18.2  magnoliaave  replied to  JohnRussell @18    6 years ago

That's a great story on your family. 

I remember my own story so well.  Mark was playing soccer and tennis.  Michael was doing both, but not so much tennis.  We had a court in our backyard.  Mark was good and we went on the circuit for ranking in Al.  Gee, that was fun, but very expensive.  He ranked. And, you know Michael earned his soccer scholarship.

Now, my grandson, who is 16  LOVES soccer.  He is small in statue, but a mind of steel. He has worked so hard on his game.  They both always played on the city teams.  I told Caleb he had to be one on one with the ball....it had to part of you.  That summer before H.S.  he would practice alone with the ball dribbling and different plays.  As a sophomore he was chosen for the school varsity team.  This year he was MVP.....I am so proud....he did it and earned it. 

Great idea about giving ALL players trophies.  Their support for the team was invaluable.

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
19  seeder  Jasper2529    6 years ago

Larry Winget: Failure is where we learn

 
 

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