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This Australian Church Missed the Obvious Sexual Innuendo in Its Sign

  

Category:  Religion & Ethics

Via:  hal-a-lujah  •  6 years ago  •  25 comments

This Australian Church Missed the Obvious Sexual Innuendo in Its Sign

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



I can’t believe we are still having this discussion, but let’s do it: Pastors should always have teenagers read the church signs before they go up.

In the most recent situation, it’s obvious the Queensland (Australia) pastor didn’t even Google the message, considering the same problematic words have garnered media attention twice in the past two years.

SwallowingSpitQLD.png Seriously? “Forgive is swallowing when you’d rather spit”? No one saw the obvious sexual innuendo there?!

They didn’t. At least that’s what Reverend Mike Upton of the Surfers Paradise Anglican Church of the Holy Spirit told a local news station:

"… I went and checked social media just to see what other interpretations there might be… it actually made me sad."

Oh, you poor, poor naïve man.

When word about the sign got out earlier this month, Upton wasn’t allowed to speak to the media anymore.

… late yesterday, the church was over-ruled by head office, with the sign ordered to be taken down. On Wednesday morning, the sign was blank.

Reverend Mike Upton told The Courier-Mail he was no longer allowed to speak about the matter, and referred questions to the Brisbane Diocese.

And then, because the jokes are so obvious, even the local news report couldn’t hold back:

A spokesman for the Anglican Church Southern Queensland Diocese confirmed the decision to have the offending words removed.

They would not comment on why Reverend Upton was gagged from talking to the media about the issue.

This is too easy.


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Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
1  seeder  Hal A. Lujah    6 years ago

If he wasn't thinking about what comes to mind when anyone else hears this phrase, then what was he thinking about when he wrote this?  Being at the dentist?

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
1.1  Freefaller  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @1    6 years ago

If there any other interpretation than the obvious one I honestly cannot guess what it is

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
2  charger 383    6 years ago

this is too funny, thanks for the laugh

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Principal
3  Perrie Halpern R.A.    6 years ago

That is too funny. I just don't know how he didn't see that. 

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Guide
4  epistte    6 years ago

I've found that religious people often do not get innuendo. They are absolutely blind to it for some strange reason.

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Quiet
4.1  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  epistte @4    6 years ago

I'll bet the original phrase he was going for was "Forgiveness is swallowing your pride when you'd rather lash out in spite." but there wasn't enough room on the sign so he paraphrased...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5  Trout Giggles    6 years ago

I'm not a teenager but I could have told him that this message was probably not a good idea

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Guide
5.1  epistte  replied to  Trout Giggles @5    6 years ago
I'm not a teenager but I could have told him that this message was probably not a good idea

My former mother-in-law was the sheltered church secretary of a conservative religion and she created some unintentionally funny one-liners. She finally relented and allowed her teenage son to proof-read her ideas before they were made public. 

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
5.1.1  seeder  Hal A. Lujah  replied to  epistte @5.1    6 years ago

She probably avoided a big boner that way.  winking

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
5.1.2  Skrekk  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @5.1.1    6 years ago

I wonder if the church was referring to this?

Related image

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
5.1.3  seeder  Hal A. Lujah  replied to  Skrekk @5.1.2    6 years ago

Poor Jesus, He just can't catch a break!

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
5.1.4  Freefaller  replied to  Skrekk @5.1.2    6 years ago

Lol ok that's just wrong, funny but wrong

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
5.1.5  Skrekk  replied to  Freefaller @5.1.4    6 years ago

I wish I had thought of doing that when I was that kid's age.    Totally brilliant!

The backstory is that the kid potentially faced 2 years in juvenile jail due to one of the remaining Christian sharia laws in Pennsylvania: “Desecration of a Venerated Object”, although he ultimately got probation and community service .    Truly shameful that we still have any sharia laws still on the books, much less ones which give any weight to the fragile feelings of superstitious morons.

.

Ironically this is the same state which used to have a sharia law carrying the death penalty for any Catholic priests found within its borders.

 
 
 
Sunshine
Professor Quiet
5.1.6  Sunshine  replied to  Skrekk @5.1.2    6 years ago

Does this say something about Jesus or the kid?

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
5.1.7  Skrekk  replied to  Sunshine @5.1.6    6 years ago
Does this say something about Jesus or the kid?

It says that the kid has a far better sense of humor than any bible-babbler, and it proves that Jesus was gay. Comment removed, inflammatory content/no value. [ph]

 
 
 
Sunshine
Professor Quiet
5.1.8  Sunshine  replied to  Skrekk @5.1.7    6 years ago

sticking your dick in a statues face is funny?  oh well some kids do stupid perverted things.  

 
 
 
MonsterMash
Sophomore Quiet
5.1.9  MonsterMash  replied to  Skrekk @5.1.2    6 years ago

Hey, don't make fun of the queer teen kid

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
5.1.10  seeder  Hal A. Lujah  replied to  Skrekk @5.1.5    6 years ago

Burly Christian cell mate:  What are you in for kid?

Kid:  Mouth raping Jesus.  Got a problem with that?

Burly cell mate:  Guards!  Guards!  Get me out of here!

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Guide
5.1.11  epistte  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @5.1.10    6 years ago

Burly Christian cell mate:  What are you in for kid?

Kid:  Mouth raping Jesus.  Got a problem with that?

Burly cell mate:  Guards!  Guards!  Get me out of here!

Why did I think of the incident on the Group W bench in Alice's Resturant because of your reply?

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
Where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
Committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
Looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
Rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
They was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
Bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
Father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean and ugly
And nasty and horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
And said, "Kid, what did you get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench
There, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
Said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand
And we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing
Father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
Bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all kinds of
Things, until the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
Up and said

 
 
 
user image
Freshman Silent
5.1.12    replied to  Skrekk @5.1.2    6 years ago

Give the kid a break he thought it was a statue of Harvey Milk.

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Guide
5.1.13  epistte  replied to  @5.1.12    6 years ago

That's weak.

 
 
 
Phoenyx13
Sophomore Silent
5.1.14  Phoenyx13  replied to  @5.1.12    6 years ago
Give the kid a break he thought it was a statue of Harvey Milk.

Harvey Milk was dressed like Jesus and had statues made in that likeness of him ? (yea, it sounded stupid when i typed it too, just like the comment i'm replying to)

 
 
 
Sunshine
Professor Quiet
6  Sunshine    6 years ago

I wouldn't want to explain it to him.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
6.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Sunshine @6    6 years ago

I would but I would probably be laughing too hard

 
 
 
MonsterMash
Sophomore Quiet
8  MonsterMash    6 years ago

The pastor took a line out of the handbook Catholic priest give to alter boys.

 
 

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