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Jamie Lee Curtis Parents, put down your cellphones. Your kids are watching.

  

Category:  Health, Science & Technology

Via:  perrie-halpern  •  6 years ago  •  55 comments

 Jamie Lee Curtis Parents, put down your cellphones. Your kids are watching.
The solution to kids' obsessions with their phones starts with a look in the mirror.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



How many times have you sat with somebody and they're looking at their phone? It's so rude, but that's what's happening to a generation of children with their parents.

Our mothers were, for most of us, our first teachers: We learned everything from them, and we patterned ourselves after them. But now we see moms with their babies, and they're on their phones. So much about parenting a baby is looking them in the eyes, though, and phones get in the way of that.

If our children spend their time looking at us looking our phones — at ourselves on our phones, for that matter — scrolling constantly all day, it's telling them that they should do it, too. But the problem is bigger than that: I'm mortified by what I see on a daily basis on people's social media profiles. There's an obsession with other people's personal lives, and people are obsessed with themselves, which children can't help but pick up on.

As a sober woman of 20 years, one thing I tell parents is that, if the first thing you do when you're celebrating something is to go have a bottle of champagne, or if you have a terrible day at work and go home to your family and say, "Oh my God, it was a terrible day at work, I need a drink," don't be surprised if your young person gets drunk at a party. Don't be surprised because they've seen you do it; how you use your phone, and how often you use your phone, is no different.

You really have to put your phone down, because what's bad for you is bad for your kids. We see so many young people who are dysmorphic, who look in the mirror and are not satisfied with what they see.

It begins with compare and despair: Think about how it feels when you, as an adult, compare your life to those you see in your Instagram feed. It feels like you're not having fun like they are, you're not eating food the way they all are, you don't look the way they all do. Apps have given us this idea that we can alter ourselves— that you alone are not enough, that your being needs to be altered with a bunny face or a chipmunk, with a new voice, with a face that has no blemishes.


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Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
1  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    6 years ago

This article caught my attention. For all the time I spend on the site, when I am off site, I am very disconnected. I try not to only use my cell phone as a phone and for GPS. My husband is far more connected to his phone, texting my daughters or his sister throughout the day. Sometimes it appears to me as if he as connected to his phone as my kids are, and I wonder if this was a case of the chicken or the egg. Did he start with the texting or did he pick it up from the kids. 

Personally, I feel that people are far too connected via texting that they no longer need to talk. I find this bad and sad. Bad, since I think we are becoming disconnected in every other way, sad because it will only get worse. When I see toddlers playing on phones I gasp. 

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
1.1  Bob Nelson  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @1    6 years ago
This article caught my attention. For all the time I spend on the site, when I am off site, I am very disconnected

Hi, Perrie...

I agree with you. I disconnect pretty easily. At the same time, I see how it is with our grandchildren, whose parents must put time limits on using tablets because otherwise the kids would never lift their heads from the screens. The children watch the clock, and scream "It's time!" as soon as their forbidden time is finished.

I don't have a solution. But I certainly see the problem! And it's certain to get worse. I can easily imagine a time when we get "phones" inserted in our skulls. (I'm currently re-reading the Enderverse , from Orson Scott Card, with the computer Jane as a central character...)

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @1    6 years ago

I know exactly what you're talking about. I get irritated when I invite people over and they spend all their time on their phones. My phone pretty much stays in my purse when I get home. I do have an addiction to Candy Crush on my Kindle so there's that. But for the most part I stay off of media other than TV when I get home

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
1.3.1  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.3    6 years ago

Playing a game is just like watching TV.  I don't see that as a biggie, LOL. 

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
1.4  Skrekk  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @1    6 years ago
For all the time I spend on the site, when I am off site, I am very disconnected. I try not to only use my cell phone as a phone and for GPS.

Ditto.    When I'm not on my main desktop or connecting from a laptop via VPN, I'm not online.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
2  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.    6 years ago
I can easily imagine a time when we get "phones" inserted in our skulls. (I'm currently re-reading the  Enderverse , from Orson Scott Card, with the computer Jane as a central character...)

Well, my daughter's iphone wasn't good enough, so she got a iwatch. And don't forget those glasses where you can see google. We are more than 3/4 of the way to dystopia.

That being said, I think parents set the tone and so should our schools since they are our second line of defense. Of course, there may be ideas out there that we are not coming up with.

But just to lighten this up.. here is a video of the dangers of too much texting: 

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
2.1  Bob Nelson  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2    6 years ago

There are a few in there that aren't at aii funny.

Still, the incidents present the problem pretty well: how to correctly apportion one's time, how to restrict the electronic invasion of our personal space.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
2.1.1  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Bob Nelson @2.1    6 years ago

I have to agree with you, Bob. There are a few in there that had me gasp a bit, but I thought maybe I was a little too sensitive. 

I live off of a very windy country road and I often worry about people in oncoming traffic and I wonder if they or my kids are texting instead of keeping an eye on the road. In fact, more than 40,000 people died last year due to texting. 

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
2.1.2  Bob Nelson  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2.1.1    6 years ago

The most disturbing is the car that hits a pedestrian in a crosswalk. They both have to be oblivious.... in a life-threatening situation.

This is part of why we need autonomous cars. We can require "proper behavior" from machines more easily than from people...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.1.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  Bob Nelson @2.1.2    6 years ago

I almost got hit by a dumbass woman the other day at Kroger while I was walking into the store. AS soon as she got in her car, she had to get on the phone and started backing up. That's when she almost hit me. I got pissed and told Mr Giggles that if she had hit me, I would have pressed charges.

I'm getting mightily sick and tired of people who can't get away from that gd computer in their hand even long enough to watch what the hell they're doing in a grocery store parking lot!

P.S. I could only watch a little bit of that video because I still get nauseous watching people trip and fall.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
2.1.4  Tessylo  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.1.3    6 years ago

Someone rearended me one time while they were on their cellphone.  I saw her behind me on her cellphone and I got nervous and what do you know?!?  

She got out and apologized and asked if I was okay.  I said 'I saw you talking on your cellphone' and she said she wasn't familiar with the area and was looking for directions and had the nerve to ask me for directions.  I told her which way she needed to go.

There was no harm done so we just went on our way.  

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.1.5  Trout Giggles  replied to  Tessylo @2.1.4    6 years ago
I told her which way she needed to go.

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

I bet you did.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
2.1.6  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Bob Nelson @2.1.2    6 years ago
This is part of why we need autonomous cars. We can require "proper behavior" from machines more easily than from people...

What a sad commentary about people.

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
2.1.7  Bob Nelson  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2.1.6    6 years ago

I don't know if it's sad.... It's human. Receiving a text message is "immediate satisfaction", irresistible for humans. Machines don't care. It isn't "morality", it's bio-chemistry.

We  need to recognize reality, and either block electronically or coordinate electronically.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
2.1.8  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.1.3    6 years ago

I hate it with the phone in parking lots. I have seen so many near misses that it almost more shocking that it doesn't happen more often. 

My car won't even let me hook up my phone to the bluetooth if I am in reverse. I think all cars should be that way. Do it before you start backing up. 

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
2.1.9  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.1.5    6 years ago

LMAO.. good one Trout!!

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
2.1.10  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Bob Nelson @2.1.7    6 years ago
I don't know if it's sad.... It's human.

So, what you are saying is that there are a whole bunch of people out there with poor impulse control. 

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.1.11  Trout Giggles  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2.1.10    6 years ago

I think that's exactly what he's saying

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
2.1.12  Bob Nelson  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2.1.10    6 years ago
So, what you are saying is that there are a whole bunch of people out there with poor impulse control.

About seven billion, at last estimate.

We're animals. Smarter than most, but still animals, whose behavior is deeply affected by our endocrinal system. Much of our behavior is based on emotion, and all of our behavior is affected by emotion.

Being smart animals, we can decide to follow our reasoning... sometimes.

We should use our brains to control the way we submit to our hormones...

 
 
 
dave-2693993
Junior Quiet
2.1.13  dave-2693993  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2.1.8    6 years ago
My car won't even let me hook up my phone to the bluetooth

Bluetooth anyone?

Not only hands free, but for many, brains free too.

Nothing like trying to get somebody to address an issue, they are looking straight at you, yet have no idea you are there.

 
 
 
volfan
Freshman Silent
2.2  volfan  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2    6 years ago

Love those.

 
 
 
Skrekk
Sophomore Participates
2.3  Skrekk  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @2    6 years ago

I like how the folks who bumped into something just bounced off and kept on texting.

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
3  TᵢG    6 years ago

Trouble is mobile devices are part of our daily lives now - and this trend will continue.   So it is difficult to give good examples.   Clearly a parent should not be sitting around playing games with their phone, but using the phone is almost a necessity nowadays.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
3.1  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  TᵢG @3    6 years ago
Clearly a parent should not be sitting around playing games with their phone, but using the phone is almost a necessity nowadays.

That may be true, but when does parent usage become rude? For instance, I have gone restaurants and have seen adults (I am assuming some of them are parents) with the phone at on the table and every two or three minutes seeing them texting. What did we use to do when we went out to dinner and leave the kids?

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
3.1.1  TᵢG  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @3.1    6 years ago

I would say that when in a social environment it is rude to engage your device rather than talk to your companions.   But I suspect those mores are changing too.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Participates
3.1.2  Raven Wing  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @3.1    6 years ago

I guess by today's standards I am an old fogie. (sp)

I have an old cell phone with no Internet, no text and is only used for urgent calls. It has a camera, but, I don't use it, as I have a better camera that is just a camera for when I want to take a picture. 

My cell phone is only for making necessary or emergency or calls when I am away from the house.  When I am at home I use my home phone. The only people who have my cell phone number are immediate family and Friends that I really want to hear from. They know that I do not answer my cell phone when driving so they leave me a message and I get back to them as soon as I stop and am off the road. 

I do not live for my cell phone, nor does it monopolize my life. I really dislike sitting next to someone who is on their cell phone non-stop and talking loud enough so that everyone in the room can hear their end of the discussion, often leaving nothing to the imagination to those in ear shot. 

My flip cell phone cost me $49.95 12 years ago, and still works just fine for what I need a cell phone for. Anything more than that for what I need is a waste. My Granddaughter keeps trying to get me to get one of the new super duper type cell phones like she has, with all the bells and whistles. But, when I need to make an emergency call or get an emergency call while I am away from home, all the bells and whistles are just expensive excess baggage.

But, that's just me.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3.1.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  Raven Wing @3.1.2    6 years ago
My Granddaughter keeps trying to get me to get one of the new super duper type cell phones like she has, with all the bells and whistles.

Resist!

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3.1.4  Trout Giggles  replied to  TᵢG @3.1.1    6 years ago

But I suspect those mores are changing too.

 

I hope not. I won't go out with people if that's how they're going to act

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Participates
3.1.5  Raven Wing  replied to  Trout Giggles @3.1.3    6 years ago
Resist!

I told her that if she was willing to pay for a phone like hers I'd take it. But, if I had to pay for it, no thanks. My cell phone bill is only $23.30 a mo. with unlimited minutes and unlimited long distance here in the US. Why would I want to pay more just to have something to carry around in my purse in case I need it? My little flip phone has GPS and all that I need for emergencies on the road. I also have a charger in my car in case I get stuck out on the road and need to charge the phone. Other than that, what else do I need? If I can't get a signal, Internet is not going to help me. And I totally dislike the whole texting thing. 

My cell phone is for my convenience away from home when the need arises, not for everyone and their Mother to call me at their convenience just to chit chat or exercise their texting fingers. Especially, when the expense is on my dime. jrSmiley_55_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3.1.6  Trout Giggles  replied to  Raven Wing @3.1.5    6 years ago
If I can't get a signal, Internet is not going to help me.

Don't read this, RW. LOL

Android and Iphones all come with built in wifi. So I can post my photos of my fishing trip next month

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Participates
3.1.7  Raven Wing  replied to  Trout Giggles @3.1.6    6 years ago
Android and Iphones all come with built in wifi

My Granddaughter re-programmed my old MS tablet into thinking it is an Android, and now it won't play my Angry Birds anymore. jrSmiley_89_smiley_image.gif  

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3.1.9  Trout Giggles  replied to  Raven Wing @3.1.7    6 years ago

Tell her to fix it!

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3.1.10  Trout Giggles  replied to  Release The Kraken @3.1.8    6 years ago

I'm sorry to hear about your mom

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
3.1.12  Trout Giggles  replied to  Release The Kraken @3.1.11    6 years ago

I'm sorry to READ about your mom

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
3.1.14  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Raven Wing @3.1.2    6 years ago

And there is nothing wrong with that Raven. Probably you are better offAl than most. 

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
3.1.15  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Trout Giggles @3.1.12    6 years ago
I'm sorry to READ about your mom

Ditto that

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Participates
3.1.16  Raven Wing  replied to  Trout Giggles @3.1.9    6 years ago
Tell her to fix it!

She tired, but, it won't go back. Since I have no use for it as an android I just gave it to her. She was trying to do me a favor, but, once it was changed it would not change back. She has a need and better uses for it than I do, so it is not a loss.

 
 
 
volfan
Freshman Silent
4  volfan    6 years ago

I too, agree with her. I can't go into details, but I work with at risk kids, and some of the places have a no cell phone policy. At first, they think they are dying, but then many have come back and told me, it was the best thing that ever happened to them! They can go out and play - biking, fishing, hiking, exploring and enjoy just life without the tug back to the "old life". 

I try to model good cell behavior with them - I always put it away at mealtimes, when they are talking with me, etc. Kids watch what you DO, not so much what you SAY.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Participates
4.1  Raven Wing  replied to  volfan @4    6 years ago

I see kinds that are not even in Kindergarten playing games on their cell phones. What kind of nonsense is that? At first I thought is might be their parents phone, but, when I saw that it actually was the kids' phone I was floored! And we're tasking a full on latest model iPhone! Who is holding these parents' brains to give such young kids that kind of 'toy'? When most of them aren't can't even spell their own name yet. jrSmiley_85_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Participates
4.1.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Raven Wing @4.1    6 years ago

Why a re some of these emoji's coming out so large? They didn't used to do so. No matter how many times I re-size them, they still come out so big. A new glitch in the system maybe?

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4.1.2  Trout Giggles  replied to  Raven Wing @4.1.1    6 years ago

I like the large emojis

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Participates
4.1.3  Raven Wing  replied to  Trout Giggles @4.1.2    6 years ago

They are OK, but, they didn't used to be so big. Just curious as to why they are suddenly showing up so large.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
4.2  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  volfan @4    6 years ago

Modeling good behavior is what it is all about. If you tell your kids they can't text and you can't get off your phone, why should they listen to you?

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
6  Spikegary    6 years ago

Rules at the lake house-no phones at the dinner table, though I agree, we are ont hem far too much the rest of the day also.  Our office, due to secuirty concerns put lock boxes in the lobby, and that's where your phone and bluetooth/wireless devices are required to stay.......I've become less dependent on the phone since we intstituted this.

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
6.1  seeder  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Spikegary @6    6 years ago

Good for you Gary! If you are away somewhere, disconnect and enjoy for goodness sakes

 
 

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