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***** 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

By:  buzz-of-the-orient  •  6 years ago  •  29 comments

***** 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******




















***** 23 ADULT TRUTHS ******

1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.


2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.


4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.


5. How in the world are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?


6. Was learning cursive really necessary?


7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.


8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.


9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.


10. Bad decisions make good stories.


11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.


12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.


13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.


14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.


15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.


16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.


17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.


18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.


19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?


20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front.
dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.


22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.


23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.


Ladies.....Quit Laughing.


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Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1  author  Buzz of the Orient    6 years ago

A few of these got ME going....

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
1.1  Spikegary  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1    6 years ago

Buzz, In reference to Number 6:

512

Spent Friday and Saturday in Haliburton at the Bonny View Inn on Kashagawigamog Lake.

Had to listen to the GPS to figure out how to pronounce it.....

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.1.1  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Spikegary @1.1    6 years ago

No problem, just put emphasis on "wig".

How much snow was there?

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
1.1.2  Spikegary  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.1.1    6 years ago

About a foot out on the lake, about the same on the sides of the road.  Was chilly on Friday, downright cold at night.  Turns out, it's on the same road as the Haliburton Highlands Golf Course.  We did bring home some Coffee Crisp and Smarties for the kids stockings......

 
 
 
TTGA
Professor Silent
1.1.3  TTGA  replied to  Spikegary @1.1    6 years ago
Kashagawigamog Lake.

Sounds more like it's in Wales than in Canada.

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
1.1.4  Spikegary  replied to  TTGA @1.1.3    6 years ago

Well, Haliburton Hiughlands seems to be a Scottish/Welsh ting......possibly settlers form the British Isles that settled here......or native peoples?

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
1.1.5  Kavika   replied to  Spikegary @1.1.4    6 years ago

It's an Ojibwe word meaning ''long and twisting/crooked water''...

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.1.6  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Spikegary @1.1.2    6 years ago

When my daughter was studying for her M.A. at USC she made me send her supplies of Coffee Crisp, but she didn't need any Smarties because she tolerated those counterfeit Smarties called M&Ms.  LOL

 
 
 
TTGA
Professor Silent
1.1.7  TTGA  replied to  Kavika @1.1.5    6 years ago
It's an Ojibwe word meaning ''long and twisting/crooked water''...

I thought that it was an Urdu phrase meaning, "The Middle of Nowhere".

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
2  charger 383    6 years ago

funny and true

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Participates
3  Nowhere Man    6 years ago
23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Speaking of balls and cups, Has anyone played "Beer Pong" lately?

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
3.1  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Nowhere Man @3    6 years ago

Never played beer pong - don't know what it is, but my wife and I enjoy playing ping pong pretty often.

 
 
 
Nowhere Man
Junior Participates
3.1.1  Nowhere Man  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @3.1    6 years ago

You didn't miss anything......

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
3.1.2  cjcold  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @3.1    6 years ago

Ping pong might just be the best sport ever invented.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
3.1.3  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  cjcold @3.1.2    6 years ago

Even though it was pretty cold out we still played for a half hour this afternoon, but the ball doesn't bounce very well in cold weather.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
4  Ender    6 years ago

True about the sarcasm font.

As far as the GPS, I love to go another direction and freak it out...recalculating....

One time following the directions, got stuck on a single lane dirt road, in the middle of nowhere.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
4.1  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Ender @4    6 years ago

It's also not aware of recently started construction and can guide you through hell.  I have never driven with GPS because I haven't driven a car for more than 12 years, but I have been in cars here in China that have been screwed by the GPS like you were on the dirt road.

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Participates
4.2  epistte  replied to  Ender @4    6 years ago
As far as the GPS, I love to go another direction and freak it out...recalculating.... One time following the directions, got stuck on a single lane dirt road, in the middle of nowhere.

GPS is wrong more than 50% of the time.

 I agree with 90% of these.

 
 
 
Spikegary
Junior Quiet
4.2.1  Spikegary  replied to  epistte @4.2    6 years ago

I rarely have any issues with GPS-and I travel a lot in the Northeast and Canada, to some remote locations.

I recall a few years back in Germany or somewhere close to there, where a GPS took a couple across a bridge that was no longer there, they ended up in a canal.

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
4.2.2  cjcold  replied to  Spikegary @4.2.1    6 years ago

On the road, I generally have 3 GPS systems running. The Alpine in the dash is my favorite.

 
 
 
TTGA
Professor Silent
4.2.3  TTGA  replied to  epistte @4.2    6 years ago
GPS is wrong more than 50% of the time.

Yep.  "Turn East and drive directly toward the lake.  Continue until I give more directions (and then the damn battery runs out).

Friend of mine had that sorta happen.  He got in the habit of jumping into his car in the morning, clicking the controller for the garage door opener, putting the car in reverse and backing out (usually without looking behind).  One day, he found out, the hard way, that the battery in his controller had died.  New garage door and some extensive rear end work on his car.

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Participates
4.2.4  epistte  replied to  TTGA @4.2.3    6 years ago

Get off the highway, drive through the city and get back on the highway at the edge of town. Most of the time I check Google maps if I've never been there, just to be sure because I don't trust GPS directions.

I open the door with the manual switch that is mounted on the wall when I back out.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  Ender @4    6 years ago

I like messing with my car nav system, too. I will purposely go in a different direction just to see if she'll have a coronary

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5  Kavika     6 years ago

LOL, got a laugh out of most of them.

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
6  Freefaller    6 years ago
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

At least for now you do.  Ain't none of us getting any younger.

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Participates
7  epistte    6 years ago

About freezers with lights,

With non-automatic defrosting freezers, particularly with older, low-end models, there is the problem of ice crystal build up from the humidity of the air introduced when opening the freezer.  This not only reduces the efficiency of the freezer itself, but also would reduce the utility of the light or even obscure it altogether, making it pointless (and hence the benefit vs. cost plummets even further).

Multiple LEDs would solve that problem.
 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
7.1  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  epistte @7    6 years ago

Not a bad idea.  Light can still travel to an extent through the amount of ice buildup in a freezer.

 
 
 
epistte
Junior Participates
7.1.1  epistte  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @7.1    6 years ago

Most freezers, even price-conscious models are now automatic defrosting. LEDs are the default light source because of packaging efficiency, low energy use and long life, so I'm not seeing a problem with having a light in the freezer. If the freezer is used on a daily basis it would only require a wipe of the finger to remove any frost that might have accumulated on it in the past 24 hours.

 
 
 
TTGA
Professor Silent
8  TTGA    6 years ago

Just got a good one.  A mouse has been running all over the office where my daughter works, stealing lunches and leaving his calling card behind.  Finally she trapped it and named it Osama ben Mouseken because it was a little terrorist and her boss gave it a burial at sea.

 
 

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