A Special Diet for NT Members Free of Charge from Kavika. Lose weight the Ojibwe way.

  
By:  kavika  •  4 weeks ago  •  56 comments

A Special Diet for NT Members Free of Charge from Kavika. Lose weight the Ojibwe way.

Many people have been at one time or another in their life on a diet...Yes the dreaded word that brings to mind eating only veggies for the rest of your life. 

Americans spend billions every year on the latest fad diet. Many others take more extreme measures such as surgery. 

Over all we are a nation that is overweight, and it isn't getting any better. Our kids are overweight, teens are overweight, young adults are overweight, adults are overweight and seniors are overweight. 

There are many causes for the overweight problem in the U.S. Much of food that we consume is really bad for us but taste so darn good. 

Ads on TV, radio, all types of media encourage us to try this new food...

Well my whole adults life I've weighted 175 lbs give or take a pound. I stand a bit over 6' tall so I'm fairly slender. Then the pudgy bug hit me. My weight started creeping up. 176, 177, 178, 179 and finally the breaking point (or pound) of 180. 

OMG. I wobbled out of the walk in closet (we keep our super duper scale in there) stunned that I had finally hit the NO MORE mark of 180 pounds. I rationalized it by giving my weight in metric as 81 and a half kilos...Man, now your talking I'm svelte once again.  

Sadly after a day or so I recognized that I was lying to myself. I really was 180 lbs and I wasn't going to move to Canada so I could lie in metric....

So I went on a rampage, checking out every item that I ate, the calories, carbs etc....After consulting all the charts (weight watchers) there is no way I should be gaining weight. But there it was, I had gained weight. 

There must be a medical reason, perhaps I contacted some horrible weight gaining bug. I rushed to my GP, Dr. Pecarado who, after numerous tests,  told me that I was quite healthy, considering that I was older than dirt. 

I walked in the front door and Red greeted me with, ''Hi Porky'', she is such a charmer at times. She started calling me, Walking Eagle, because I was to fat to fly. 

A lightening bolt hit me and I thought, hey weigh your head and see if your gaining brain cells, they are quite heavy ya know...

So I laid down and weighted only my head on the scale. Recorded the weight then weighed the rest of me and subtracted the weight of my head. A week later I did it again and found out that my head was 6 oz heavier. I'm gaining brain cells. Then the thought of where are all those new brain cells going to go. My skull will run out of room and my head will explode. 

In walks Red. Hey Walking Eagle she said. You're not getting more brain cells, you're losing brain cells as I can testify since I live with your dumb ass. She really has a way with words.

Come on Walking Eagle I'm going to take you to a place that will rid you of that extra weight. So off we went and stopped at they place called ''Stylin''....Not knowing what this was I closed my eyes. (There is an old saying, there is nothing so scary that you can't hide from it) this was my way of hiding from it. 

Soon I was sitting in a chair and a blanket was thrown over me, except for my head. Soon I felt fingers running through my head and some weird noises. It's an exorcism, my head will be spinning a full 360 degrees...I'm doomed. 

Suddenly I felt myself gently floating and feeling much lighter. 

My eyes popped open and there I was looking down at the floor and at 14 inches of my hair, limply lying on the floor, dead. 

I did the old look in the mirror at the back of my head and my pony tail had been devastated. Red calls it a Horses Tail since it was so long no pony would have a tail that long. (There were those few times that she called me a horses ass but that's only when she is really pissed at me) 

So there you have it folks. My Horses Tail which was down to the middle of my back was now barely 10 inches long. 

The up side is that I was back to 175 lbs or 81 and a half kilos. 

This is a true story, there are a few times in my life that I have misplaced the truth but that is rare and this ain't one of them.

So give up all the diets and go to ''Stylin'' for your weight loss. 

Tell'em Kavika sent you. 

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Kavika
1  author  Kavika     4 weeks ago

Since that huge weight loss I'm having a Banana Split for dinner.

 
 
 
nightwalker
1.1  nightwalker  replied to  Kavika @1    4 weeks ago

jrSmiley_86_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
1.2  Vic Eldred  replied to  Kavika @1    4 weeks ago

I think you should go into business with that "Stylin" diet, though I don't know if it could last long vs Marie Osmond or "Jessie James Decker"!

 
 
 
Kavika
1.2.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Vic Eldred @1.2    4 weeks ago

Ha, Marie doesn't have a chance against the ''Stylin'' diet....Hers is way to much work and you can't have loads of chocolate or ice cream. 

And Jessie James, although quite pretty she again doesn't stand a chance. 

Remember, Stylin diet....Get your hair trimmed, lose weight. What could be easier.

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
1.2.2  Vic Eldred  replied to  Kavika @1.2.1    4 weeks ago

You sure told them!

 
 
 
Freefaller
2  Freefaller    4 weeks ago

Lol so if you gain more weight will we be calling you Bald Eagle?

 
 
 
Kavika
2.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Freefaller @2    4 weeks ago
Lol so if you gain more weight will we be calling you Bald Eagle?

I'm hoping for something in between like, Short Eagle or Crew Cut Eagle...LOL

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
2.1.1  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Kavika @2.1    4 weeks ago
Short Eagle or Crew Cut Eagle...LOL

Moe Hawk? :)

 
 
 
Kavika
2.1.2  author  Kavika   replied to  Dismayed Patriot @2.1.1    4 weeks ago
Moe Hawk?

LOL, good one.

 
 
 
Ender
3  Ender    4 weeks ago

Haha.   Hair, hair, long beautiful hair.

I never had a problem with weight. Have weighed the same for years.

Never understood the obsession with food, especially when it is plentiful.

 
 
 
Kavika
3.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Ender @3    4 weeks ago
I never had a problem with weight. Have weighed the same for years

Neither have I except that my hair got to long and heavy...LOL

 
 
 
JohnRussell
4  JohnRussell    4 weeks ago

Cool story, well told. 

 
 
 
Kavika
4.1  author  Kavika   replied to  JohnRussell @4    4 weeks ago

Thanks JR.

 
 
 
βΔĐ₣ƗŞĦ ĦΔŇĐ Ø₣ ĐØØΜ
5  βΔĐ₣ƗŞĦ ĦΔŇĐ Ø₣ ĐØØΜ    4 weeks ago

The worse day of my life was when I cut off my hair.

My now father in law told me if I wanted to keep seeing his daughter I had to get a haircut and a real job.

I did but regret the haircut.

 
 
 
Ender
5.1  Ender  replied to  βΔĐ₣ƗŞĦ ĦΔŇĐ Ø₣ ĐØØΜ @5    4 weeks ago

Had long hair, for a long time. When I got it cut short it stuck straight up.

 
 
 
Kavika
6  author  Kavika     4 weeks ago

I actually only cut off part of it, still have quite a bit, although it's a 10 inch pony tail instead of a 2 foot or longer one. 

 
 
 
Raven Wing
7  Raven Wing    4 weeks ago

Great story, Kavika, as only you can tell them. 

My normal weight all my adult life, other than when pregnant, is 152. At 5' 11" that is pretty trim. And my hair is down below my hips. My GP would like me to gain a few more pounds as he thinks I should weigh a bit more, but, I think that once I allow myself to put on extra weight it won't stop. jrSmiley_55_smiley_image.gif

So I am happy to be me, and if the Creator wants me to gain more weight I am sure He will show me how. (grin)

 
 
 
Kavika
7.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Raven Wing @7    4 weeks ago
So I am happy to be me, and if the Creator wants me to gain more weight I am sure He will show me how. (grin)

Yup, so having heavy hair is a blessing...LOL

 
 
 
Enoch
7.2  Enoch  replied to  Raven Wing @7    4 weeks ago

When I was pregnant I had the same problem.

Enoch, in a maternity three piece pin stripe blue suit.   

 
 
 
Raven Wing
7.2.1  Raven Wing  replied to  Enoch @7.2    4 weeks ago
Enoch, in a maternity three piece pin stripe blue suit. 

I wanna see!!!!!!!   jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
7.2.2  Trout Giggles  replied to  Raven Wing @7.2.1    4 weeks ago

Me, too!

 
 
 
CB
8  CB     4 weeks ago

Very funny! I think you have a real career in stand up, 'kid'! That's hollywood talk, ya know?

Hey here a trick next go around. When you feel heavy next time—blame it own your hair, and chalk it up to experience!

So that's the "Ojibwe way" - go "Stylin"?

Damn, I sure could use some hair I can get 'caught' in one thing or another! HA!

 
 
 
Kavika
8.1  author  Kavika   replied to  CB @8    4 weeks ago

I'll soon have my own TV show entitled, ''Fat, Hair No''....

 
 
 
Enoch
9  Enoch    4 weeks ago

I am the right weight for someone 18' 11" tall.

Not fat, I am way too short.

Enoch, being the last to know it is raining.

 
 
 
Kavika
9.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Enoch @9    4 weeks ago

In the immortal words of Wiki Warrior Wonder Wiener, AKA, Hebrew National.

I'm short but I'm long. 

Yogi would be proud of Wiki. 

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
10  Perrie Halpern R.A.    4 weeks ago

First of all, let me make you feel better

14 inches of my hair, limply lying on the floor, dead. 

Don't worry. You didn't commit murder. Hair is dead. 

But here is some advice.

If you don't want to lose the hair due to weight, give up your fry bread addiction. 

 
 
 
Kavika
10.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @10    4 weeks ago
Don't worry. You didn't commit murder. Hair is dead. 

I shall mourn my hair...then bury it.

If you don't want to lose the hair due to weight, give up your fry bread addiction. 

As some people that I know would say, but my hair is ''big boned'' and carries a lot of water....

Give up my fry bread, have you totally lost your mind. OMG, I'd lose my Indian card if I did that...jrSmiley_2_smiley_image.png

 
 
 
Ender
10.1.1  Ender  replied to  Kavika @10.1    4 weeks ago

There are charity groups that use human hair to make wigs for cancer patients.

 
 
 
Kavika
10.1.2  author  Kavika   replied to  Ender @10.1.1    4 weeks ago

On a more serious note Ender the lady that cut my hair collected it and that is exactly where it is going. To a group that uses human hair for wigs for cancer patients. 

Thank you for that comment, it's well accepted and hopefully the hair will make some cancer patients life a bit better. 

Perhaps some members will read this and if they have a lot of hair cut they too can donate it to a charity group.

 
 
 
Ender
10.1.3  Ender  replied to  Kavika @10.1.2    4 weeks ago

That's cool.   : )   A very worthwhile endeavor.

On a lighter note, I can guarantee the picture above has some women swooning. I would say some men too.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
10.1.4  Trout Giggles  replied to  Ender @10.1.3    4 weeks ago
I can guarantee the picture above has some women swooning.

<raises hand>

That is one handsome man in that photo

Mr Giggles just cut off his hair for Locks for Love or some charity like that. He looks good. It's still not military regulation but he barely kept it regulation when he was active duty

Now if I could just do something about that beard.....

 
 
 
Tessylo
10.1.5  Tessylo  replied to  Trout Giggles @10.1.4    4 weeks ago

You read my mind - I was going to comment on that gentleman also!

Gorgeous!!!!

 
 
 
Raven Wing
10.2  Raven Wing  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @10    4 weeks ago
give up your fry bread addiction.

jrSmiley_97_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_85_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_27_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_30_smiley_image.gifjrSmiley_29_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Nona62
10.3  Nona62  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @10    4 weeks ago

"give up your Fry Bread addiction "  AND your Frizza addiction as well  !!!   jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Kavika
10.3.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Nona62 @10.3    4 weeks ago
give up your Fry Bread addiction "  AND your Frizza addiction as well  !!!

That is not possible. I'd have to give up both my Indian card and my Italian card....jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Nona62
10.3.2  Nona62  replied to  Kavika @10.3.1    3 weeks ago

That would NOT  be a good thing !!!

 
 
 
Kavika
10.3.3  author  Kavika   replied to  Nona62 @10.3.2    3 weeks ago
That would NOT  be a good thing !!!

You're right, I'd be next to necked without by Indian/Italian card...

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
11  Buzz of the Orient    4 weeks ago

I had a lot of trouble trying to read the rest of your story after I read this:

"I walked in the front door and Red greeted me with, ''Hi Porky'', she is such a charmer at times. She started calling me, Walking Eagle, because I was to fat to fly."

However, I did finally get to see through the tears of laughter to read the rest, so I can now ask, wouldn't the "sweat hut" help?

 
 
 
Ender
11.1  Ender  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @11    4 weeks ago

I thought that was for visions.

 
 
 
Kavika
11.2  author  Kavika   replied to  Buzz of the Orient @11    4 weeks ago
so I can now ask, wouldn't the "sweat hut" help?

I'm laughing so hard right now I can't even type.....OK, I'm partially under control...

It's a ''sweat lodge'' Buzz....LOLOLOLOL. 

A sweat hut reminds me of the sugar shack, or pizza hut...

Thanks Buzz, I  needed good laugh today.

Now to answer your question, no it wouldn't since my feathers would get all soggy and sticky and I'd even weigh more.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
11.2.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Kavika @11.2    4 weeks ago

Yeah, for sure a Walking Eagle with soggy feathers won't be able to fly.  I always thought Lodges were for skiers and WW1 veterans.

 
 
 
Kavika
11.2.2  author  Kavika   replied to  Buzz of the Orient @11.2.1    4 weeks ago
I always thought Lodges were for skiers and WW1 veterans.

They got the idea of Lodge from us Indians....jrSmiley_2_smiley_image.png

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
11.2.3  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Kavika @11.2.2    4 weeks ago

Oh yeah, and the next thing you're going to tell me is that Robin Hood got the archery idea from you guys as well. jrSmiley_82_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Kavika
11.2.4  author  Kavika   replied to  Buzz of the Orient @11.2.3    4 weeks ago
Robin Hood got the archery idea from you guys as well.

Of course he did, everyone knows that. We make no claim to Friar Tuck....jrSmiley_2_smiley_image.png

 
 
 
Tacos!
12  Tacos!    4 weeks ago

I've taken to shaving my head, so I don't think this is going to work for me.

 
 
 
nightwalker
12.1  nightwalker  replied to  Tacos! @12    4 weeks ago

There's always amputation...

But I think I'd rather be dropped off in the woods in just my shorts for a couple of weeks, I've heard that's a good way to lose weight especially in the winter.

jrSmiley_2_smiley_image.png

 
 
 
Kavika
12.2  author  Kavika   replied to  Tacos! @12    4 weeks ago
I've taken to shaving my head,

That does present a problem for this diet...

Do you shave it yourself? How so, with a regular razor?

 
 
 
Tacos!
12.2.1  Tacos!  replied to  Kavika @12.2    4 weeks ago
Do you shave it yourself? How so, with a regular razor?

Oh gosh, I haven't been to a barber/stylist (on a regular basis) in probably 30 years, and not at all in almost 20. Back in the 90s, I had hair half way down my back, but then I got tired of it getting in the way (and getting tangled on long motorcycle rides), so I starting using my own electric clippers on it to keep it real short. This year, I got tired of even doing that and now I just shave it every few days.

What's interesting to me is that the skin on my head has never been happier. I had varying levels of dandruff or seborrheic dermatitis on my head all my life since I was a kid. Apparently, that's over with.

Recently, I discovered this awesome device (no, they aren't paying me to endorse them). The Omnishaver:

ldpq9Xu.png

It's got two blade cartridges in it facing opposite directions and you slide it both forward and backward over your skin. The blade going backward gets stropped rubbing against your skin, keeping it sharp (so they claim). I get a much closer shave than just using a regular razor and it takes maybe a minute to shave my whole head. It was a little scary at first, but it works great. Amazing little invention.

 
 
 
Kavika
12.2.2  author  Kavika   replied to  Tacos! @12.2.1    4 weeks ago

Very cool, thanks Tacos.

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
13  Paula Bartholomew    4 weeks ago

I went from 245 to currently 129 (5'9") thanks to The Food Poisoning Diet.  My doctor wants me to gain 5 back, something I thought I would never have to do after 66 years of being overweight.jrSmiley_82_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Kavika
13.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Paula Bartholomew @13    4 weeks ago

Congratulations Paula, that is one heck of an accomplishment...

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
13.1.1  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Kavika @13.1    4 weeks ago

Thank you, but I would't recommend it.  Over a year later, I am still suffering some of the side effects.  Is that you in the picture?

 
 
 
Kavika
13.1.2  author  Kavika   replied to  Paula Bartholomew @13.1.1    4 weeks ago
Is that you in the picture?

No, but it's a close relative. 

This is me...The rear view...LOL

This was taken around 4 years ago so when my hair was cut two days ago it was a good 18/20 inches longer...About the same length as the young man in the avatar.

512

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
13.1.3  Paula Bartholomew  replied to  Kavika @13.1.2    3 weeks ago
No, but it's a close relative. 

Sigh....if only I were 40 years younger.  He is smoking hot.

 
 
 
dave-2693993
14  dave-2693993    4 weeks ago

As usual Kavika, great story.

 
 
 
Kavika
14.1  author  Kavika   replied to  dave-2693993 @14    4 weeks ago

Thanks dave.

 
 
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