Why Do We Celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day and Other Fake Holidays?

  
Via:  sister-mary-agnes-ample-bottom  •  one month ago  •  51 comments

Why Do We Celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day and Other Fake Holidays?
Now watch as I fire a broadside straight into your yardarm!

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


Got plans for September 19, 2019? You do now: It's International Talk Like a Pirate Day! So prepare your timbers to be shivered and wait… what? Is this seriously a holiday? What is this all about? And why, exactly, is there a formal holiday for not just pirates but for talking like pirates? You have questions. We have (weird) answers.

How did Talk Like a Pirate Day get started?

On June 6, 1995, John Baur and Mark Summers were playing a friendly game of racquetball when, for some reason neither can quite remember, they started saying "Arr!" when returning a volley. That quickly turned into other funny pirate-isms, like "Now watch as I fire a broadside straight into your yardarm!" You know, as one does.

The duo decided that the pirate speak made the game—and life—so much more fun that they needed to start an international "talk like a pirate" day so that everyone and their mateys could know the joy of imitating a parrot and calling your boss a bilge rat.

Why September 19th?

First order of business was to pick a date for this new holiday. "It couldn't be the date we decided it; as any guy can tell you, June 6 is the anniversary of World War II's D-Day. Guys hold dates like that in reverence and awe so there was no way we could use June 6," they explain. So Mark came up with September 19. That was (and still is!) his ex-wife's birthday, and the only date he could think of that wasn't already taken by Christmas or the Super Bowl or something.

Is Mark's ex-wife actually a pirate?

We don't know! They never clarified this point! So for the sake of fun, let's say yes.

Why do the rest of us celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Most of us don't play racquetball and it's probably fair to say that none of us were ever married to Mark's ex-wife so what significance does this day hold to the rest of us? Enter famed humorist Dave Barry. In 2002, the duo sent their holiday idea to him on a whim and he liked it so much he wrote a whole column on the "new holiday" for the Miami Herald. From there, it swept the world like, well, a fire through the poop decks.

No, seriously, why?

"Talking like a pirate is fun. It's really that simple. It adds a zest, a swagger, to your everyday conversation. Do you need another reason?" Mark and John argue. "Try it out. Let go, have a beer, burp in public. Say 'Aarrr!!' Feels good, doesn't it?" Fair point, guys. Who wouldn't laugh at these pirate puns and jokes?

How do you celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day?

Well, for starters, you have to talk like a pirate. Not sure how? Try the Pirate Guys' pirate speak tutorial. It will take you from "Ahoy" (hello) to "lubber" (lover, as in land lover, as in not a pirate) to "bung hole" (which is not what you think it is!).

After that, all festivities are up to you. They recommend eating some guacamole (as avocados were discovered by pirates), sending messages in a bottle (but do it in a non-littering way), reading a pirate-themed book, wearing a jaunty hat, or drinking some grog. 

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Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom    one month ago

I be needin' some laughs, me hearties.  All topics and insults (CoC friendly please) welcome as long as they are made entirely in 'pirate speak'.  

 
 
 
Enoch
1.1  Enoch  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @1    one month ago

Dear Friend SMAAB: Great article.

Enjoying the idea and the posts.

Thanks for starting off the day with a smile.

Counting slices, for lunch I will have Pizzas of Eight.

Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle Fun.

Enoch, Brushing a Parrot Off My Shoulder.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
1.1.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Enoch @1.1    one month ago
Counting slices, for lunch I will have Pizzas of Eight.

Land ho, Matey.  Ye have chosen me favorite grub to accompany me grog.  (Seriously, I just ordered pizza.)

 
 
 
†hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh
1.1.2  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @1.1.1    one month ago
(Seriously, I just ordered pizza.)

You can order pizza's on tinder?

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
1.1.3  igknorantzrulz  replied to  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh @1.1.2    one month ago

they send over her pie

and hopefully not the bloody plurrrrralll

that Trrrrrummppyy orders, as that wood B  Her PPP'Z

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
1.1.4  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh @1.1.2    one month ago
You can order pizza's on tinder?

Yar.  A peek at me goods is all it be takin'.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
 
 
igknorantzrulz
2.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @2    one month ago

here's what translator came up with,  i didn't realize i was speaking White housaneeze

.Sink me! dick in ya with a taste of Tungsten steel yer bloody hearty har har heart away till yer sexuality turns gay till you're too happy to have it all taken away by a Scooby Doo Doo Doggy style Day gone bye by till ye can't spell know more

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
3  sandy-2021492    one month ago

Facebook used to have "pirate" as a language option for Speak Like a Pirate Day, and it was hilarious.

 
 
 
Kavika
4  Kavika     one month ago

Last time I talked like a Pirate they locked me up. 

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
4.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Kavika @4    one month ago
Last time I talked like a Pirate they locked me up.

Blimey, ye were locked up for not wearing pants.  

 
 
 
Kavika
4.1.1  Kavika   replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @4.1    one month ago

This is Keylo, an 75 lb pit bull that really isn't a Pirate but does specialize in stealing hearts. 

70416935_3144541525601617_40177106772536

P.S. Keylo doesn't wear pants.

 
 
 
Sparty On
4.1.2  Sparty On  replied to  Kavika @4.1.1    one month ago

Lol no good pirate does .... wear pants that is ....

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
4.1.3  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Kavika @4.1.1    one month ago

an Albino Pirate...?

Ahy Ahy Matey     well,    one Ahy at least

 
 
 
JohnRussell
5  JohnRussell    one month ago

Thar she blows !

Sexy+Ivanka+Trump+hot+Cleavage+wallpaper

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
5.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  JohnRussell @5    one month ago

isn't that Trumpppps'    errrhhhh   Mateeeeey

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
5.1.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  igknorantzrulz @5.1    one month ago

Harharharharharsnortcoughharharharhar!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
5.2  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  JohnRussell @5    one month ago

Blimey, those would keep me pirate ship afloat! 

 
 
 
JohnRussell
5.2.1  JohnRussell  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @5.2    one month ago

Her father paid for them with his plundered booty. 

 
 
 
JohnRussell
5.2.2  JohnRussell  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @5.2    one month ago

Walking the skank. 

Ivanka-Trump-with-Donald-Trump-Walking-T

 
 
 
Sparty On
5.2.3  Sparty On  replied to  JohnRussell @5.2.2    one month ago

Lol any red blooded dude that sez they wouldn't hit Ivanka if given the chance is simply lying or is possibly gay ..... not that there's anything wrong with that ..............

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
5.2.4  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Sparty On @5.2.3    one month ago

i'd let her walk my woody plank

 
 
 
Sparty On
5.2.5  Sparty On  replied to  igknorantzrulz @5.2.4    one month ago

Honest man ye are

Fine looking woman she be

Less partisan hate

 
 
 
MrFrost
5.3  MrFrost  replied to  JohnRussell @5    one month ago

The best tits daddy could buy for her. 

 
 
 
Sparty On
5.3.1  Sparty On  replied to  MrFrost @5.3    one month ago

You’d hit it, you know you would ......

 
 
 
Sparty On
6  Sparty On    one month ago

Ahoy ye landlubbers.

I looked up "Scurvy Dog" in the Pirate Dictionary and this is what i found:

256

Yaaaarrr!

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
6.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Sparty On @6    one month ago

she B lackin vitamin C...?

errrrhhh eyes errrr bulgin likr a gold digggeeeerrrrrrrr  fish

oar

she bin hit upside da head with a plank

may have to walk 

that back

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
6.1.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  igknorantzrulz @6.1    one month ago
may have to walk  that back

Not here, me lubber-boy.  Blimey, it's thee point of the seed.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
6.2  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Sparty On @6    one month ago
I looked up "Scurvy Dog" in the Pirate Dictionary and this is what i found:

Well shave me belly with a rusty razor! That be a fine example of a scurvy dog look, me matey!  On a side note, had I seen that one, I might not have voted for her.  

 
 
 
Sparty On
6.2.1  Sparty On  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @6.2    one month ago

Why do you think Bubba strayed?  

Poor bastard!

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
7  Trout Giggles    one month ago

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

RRRRRRRRRR............

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
7.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Trout Giggles @7    one month ago

no D emocratic or I ndependent P irates...?

only  RRRRRRRRRRR R eta RT           television    Type Oooo'z    positively negative

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
7.1.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  igknorantzrulz @7.1    one month ago

no D emocratic or I ndependent P irates...?

Yar, always the clever scallywag.

 
 
 
JohnRussell
8  JohnRussell    one month ago

512

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
8.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  JohnRussell @8    one month ago

That scallywag deserves every slap. 

 
 
 
Sparty On
8.1.1  Sparty On  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @8.1    one month ago

Looks like he likes it ....

 
 
 
Kathleen
9  Kathleen    one month ago

What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunk pirate?

One has a rumbling tummy and the other is a tumbling rummy.

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
9.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Kathleen @9    one month ago
One has a rumbling tummy and the other is a tumbling rummy.

Arrrrrrrrgh, pass the grog, I'll be drinkin' me lunch today.  Again.

 
 
 
Kathleen
9.1.1  Kathleen  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @9.1    one month ago

Why couldn’t the pirate see a movie?

It was rated Rrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 
 
 
†hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh
10  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh    one month ago

Me peg leg isn't the only wood around…

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
10.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh @10    one month ago
Me peg leg isn't the only wood around…

Pirate pics or it not be true, me matey.  On second thought, I'll be believin' ye.

 
 
 
†hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh
10.1.1  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh  replied to  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom @10.1    one month ago

I almost got banned last time. No can do.....

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
10.1.2  igknorantzrulz  replied to  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh @10.1.1    one month ago
No can do.....

Sail ho! no can do" watch some porno for pyros lessen ye be a pie eyed piss ant peasant that prefers to be pee'd upon by polite urine filled party time pop up playful prostituted Putin provided porno star spangled Banner less David, cause his rusty scupper razor couldn't shave tit, due to her bloody raviola areola al dente', placed sum ye old starrrrrch in ye noodle, injected some angrrrrrrrry inch inter yerr werrrrrmy  salami, N some lead N2O yerrrrr Michigan waterrrrrrr

No.2 pencil    supply     with  eerrrrrrrh   eRRRRRRRRACER X

unbeknownced to Speed     who had a meth OD 2 his 

bloody   MADDNESS! 

MADDNESS I TELL U !

 
 
 
†hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh
11  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh    one month ago

384

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
11.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  †hε pε⊕pレε'š ƒïšh @11    one month ago

But I not be mindin' ya gettin' a wee peek.

 
 
 
Krishna
12  Krishna    one month ago

Seems like everything get's politicized now-a-days.

And guess what? 

There are even pirate political parties!

Pirate Party is a label adopted by political parties in different countries. Pirate parties support civil rights, direct democracy (including e-democracy) or alternatively participation in government, reform of copyright and patent law, free sharing of knowledge (open content), information privacy, transparency, freedom of information, free speech, anti-corruption and net neutrality.[1]

Some have actually succeeded in get a few representatives elected. (It looks like the countries where they've been most successful are the Czech Republic,...and Iceland).

 
 
 
Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom
12.1  seeder  Sister Mary Agnes Ample Bottom  replied to  Krishna @12    one month ago

Nary an arrrrrrr or a yo...ho?  

 
 
 
MrFrost
13  MrFrost    one month ago

So a pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, pirate, what's the ships wheel doing in your pants!!?"

Pirate: "I don't know but it's drivin' me nuts!!!" 

 
 
 
Sparty On
13.1  Sparty On  replied to  MrFrost @13    one month ago

Yaaarr!

How much does it cost a Pirate to get his ears pierced?

A Buccaneer ....

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
13.1.1  sandy-2021492  replied to  Sparty On @13.1    one month ago

How much did the pirate pay for corn?

A buck an ear.

 
 
 
dave-2693993
14  dave-2693993    one month ago

Gore blimey, lass, everybody like t' 'ave a wee fun

 
 
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