Study Confirms 100% of Abortions Still None of Your F**king Business
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Several red states are in various stages of implementing sweeping abortion bans aimed squarely at eventually toppling the 1973 landmark Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision that affirmed the right of all women in the country to terminate their pregnancy before the point of medical viability for the fetus, or fetuses.
Laws in Alabama, Missouri, Ohio, and Georgia all set the line of legal demarcation back as far as they can, with Alabama's criminalizing abortion at all stages of pregnancy without an exception for rape or incest. All of the laws are likely unconstitutional by the standard of Roe. However, it's no secret that socially conservative activists have been waiting for a time when the ideological makeup of the high court is presumed to be strongly enough in their favor that they could challenge that precedent with laws such as the new ones being drafted and signed into law.
With so much attention and focus on abortion and abortion rights these days, it's no surprise that a scientific research institute would take up the subject, and a team at the Western University of North Montana did exactly that. The researchers did what they called a "deep dive" on abortion, and focused their study of it on one key element — how many of the abortions performed in this country are none of your fucking business.
As it turns out, WUNM researchers found the answer to that question to be, "Literally all of them." According to Dr. Willamina S. Maychee, the scientist who led the study, a full 100% of the abortions performed in America are none of anyone's business except the woman who chose to have the abortion and her doctor. The results, Dr. Maychee says, are "conclusive as fuck."
"In every abortion procedure we researched, we found they don't impact you, your mother, your priest, your brother, your husband, your congressional representative, your senator, and indeed, even your president, unless you happen to be the one having the abortion, and is therefore by the longstanding definition of the term,'None of your fucking business,'" Dr. Maychee told reporters a press conference announcing the results of the study.
Maychee says that her study is actually just reconfirming the results of studies conducted years ago.
"The thing is, we've known for at least 50 years that abortions are private choices made between a woman and her doctor, but some people in this country get really confused with what's a fact and what's a feeling," Dr. Maychee said. "And of course they're usually the ones screaming, 'Fuck your feelings' at everyone, so that only causes more confusion. I'm glad we could end some of that confusion."
Dr. Maychee says she's "astounded" by the results because so few things she researches ever get proven quite so conclusively.
"We're talking conclusive results with 0% margin of error. That literally never happens except in the instance of how many abortions are of any concern to you," Dr. Maychee said. "Unless, again to reiterate, you're the one electing to have an abortion. Then, that is the only abortion you're allowed to have a say in. You can't force someone to have or not have an abortion if they want. I know that sounds crazy, but we also confirmed that constitutional precedent and the right to privacy are still things in this country for now, so it all checks out."
Reporters asked Dr. Maychee if there are ever any scenarios where an abortion would be someone's business.
"Is the person in question also the pregnant woman having an abortion," Maychee asked rhetorically, "then, no. It's never any of your fucking business. Not now, not 15 years from now, not 50 years ago. Never. Ever. It's none of your fucking business."
WUNM's research also conducted a couple of other studies and Maychee spoke about those results as well.
"We also confirmed that where a transgender person takes a shit is none of your goddamned business," Maychee said, "and it's never, ever, ever your business when two adults marry each other, no matter what genitals each of them possess. Oh, also, water is wet, the sky is blue, and Laura Ingraham is a literal diarrhea gollum. But there I go confirming the obvious for you again."
By the time you finish reading this, it still won't be any of your fucking business who gets an abortion.
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.
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Yep! I just checked and it's still none of your business!
I don't see much difference between the abortion protestors above and these folk outside a Wendy's...
If I want to eat a burger that's my choice regardless of what some PETA protestor thinks about the supposed rights of a cow.
If they don't want to eat meat, or get an abortion, that's their right and no one is forcing them to violate their conscience. The law says it's legal to raise and kill cows for meat. The law also says women are legally allowed to terminate a pregnancy up until viability. Just because it offends someone else's conscience doesn't give them the right to try and ban the rest of us from eating meat. Even if the PETA members believe deeply in their hearts that cows are sacred or have invisible immortal souls, that still doesn't give anyone else the right to slap the burger out of someone else's hands. Even if it's proven that eating burgers isn't good for your health and can be detrimental to your arteries and waistline, they still don't have the right to force their veganism on the rest of society. Anti-abortion activists are really no different than some vegan extremists.
Making abortion illegal doesn't stop abortion!
But, three things do though. They are:
1. Require comprehensive sex education for all children prior to puberty.
2. Make all forms of birth control easily attainable.
3. Provide all women with family planning services such as are provided by Planned Parenthood.
Love the analogy
You also need to add access to affordable housing, healthcare, education and a living wage. All of these things are known to reduce the need for abortion.
nothing is free....
local taxes pay for education through the 12th grade
I'm betting you knew that already
What the hell is wrong with that list?
Regarding fucking like an animal in heat, did you never have sex before you were married?
Suddenly, I'm in the mood for a burger. Or a steak.
Not the first time. In fact, I was a virgin for a week after I got married...
Got married a month before I turned 21 but my wife started her cycle the day of the wedding so I had to wait a week before being intimate. The marriage was a huge mistake from day one and ended in divorce 7 miserable years later.
With my second marriage I was able to do it right. Was celibate for 2 years after the divorce then met a wonderful gal in California, lived together for 5 years before getting married. I would highly recommend living together for at least 5 years to anyone thinking of getting married, going in blind is a crap shoot and recipe for disaster.
I'm pretty sure his comment applies to women only, men like himself get to bang anything that doesn't move fast enough (I believe he's actually bragged about doing so in the past).
Marriage has little bearing on abortion statistics, while those JBB mentioned and those I posted do. Also those that I posted also lower crime rates and in the long run increase the middle class wealth rates.
I totally agree. I only lived with one guy, my hubby, but we had almost 2 years before the wedding to know if would work out. We've now been married for 30 years. The test drive always helps.
btw ladies, always have them move into your abode. That way if it doesn't work out, they are the homeless ones, LOL!
That's the best kind of f***ing!
But just because a woman may be married doesn't mean she won't have an abortion if she becomes pregnant. Married women get abortions too. And waiting until marriage to have sex is quite antiquated and probably a bad idea. After all, one shouldn't buy the car on the lot without test driving it first. Maybe put it through its paces first. See how much the engine can rev up, right?
But of course!
the more freedom less government fucktards are still at it ...
screaming at the sky for the last 50 years.
I want more freedom and less trumpsters, especially the really ignorant ones.
Touché!
Seems like the study is also 100% correct.
What I find interesting about the photo is that NONE of the people photographed there holding signs can have babies!!! Men can't have them and the women have gone through menopause!!!
I would just like some consistency in the discussion.
If it is murder for a women to get an abortion because she does not have the financial means to support a child; isn't it also murder to force a child to go to school, where they will probably contract Covid and may get sick enough to die, just to help the economy?
Argument - abortion leads to 100% death, returning to school only leads to - what .00001 chance of death - maybe 500 children die.
If you are sincerely against abortion, you must also be against returning children to school just so their parents have free child care when they go to work.
So if you are are against murder, you must oppose people driving in cars because there is a chance of death by accident too?
Deflection.
If you give your child a loaded handgun as a toy and they shoot themselves - would that be an accident?
Would you blame the parent for being irresponsible?
Are you anti murder?
so, to be consistent, you must oppose people driving in cars, because you know riding in cars will kill tens of thousands of people each year.
Deflection.
An accident is different from a murder.
Glad you get the point. Now apply that reasoning to the original post and you’ll see how bogus the logic is.
Trying to an accident with murder is illogical to begin with.
Again, that’s the point. The original post is illogical so I presented an equally illogical argument using the same logical premise but with different actions.
I’ll make this as simple as a I can . Equating an action where the known outcome is certain (Death) with an action where the possibility of an outcome is exceedingly rare (get in a car you could die, or catch covid in a school) is entirely illogical.
I can’t believe I need to spell this out, but I will. Opposing the intentional killing of others does not require anyone to oppose any behavior which brings with it the risk of death, because all do.
Deflection.
Try presenting a logical argument then. Otherwise, you do not help your argument.
Try presenting a logical argument then
I just a made textbook one by demonstrating the absurdity of the original premise. I can't help if that sort of argument is too advanced for some.
Now that's what I call a bunch of cowardly bullies. Do they really expect a woman or a young girl to carry to term the product of a violent act? That's beyond the pale.
They probably don't allow abortions under any conditions including a woman who will die if she attempts to carry to term....but I'm speculating. Some people automatically think the fetus is more important than the woman
I wonder how Alabama feels about babies conceived under incest rape?
I'm going to hell.
it's a crime that taxpayers are left to foot the states legal fees of fringe religious cult theatrics with the inevitable judicial reversals that will follow.
Don't like abortions? Don't get one.
Problem solved.
If you can’t see how shallow and silly that argument is, Extend that “logic” to other situations.
.
are these arguments for legalizing murder and slavery?: if you Don’t like murder, don’t kill anyone. If you Don’t like slavery, don’t enslave someone.
Or, if you don't like the article don't comment!
Deflection.
I thought the right wing was all about more personal freedoms? Oh, just not for women, got it..
Women get aborted.
Wow when did a fully grown "women" get aborted?
Your post made it worth taking him off of ignore just for the belly laugh.
If abortion is a sin then let it be dealt with if there is a judgement day
Thank you for this. It is perfect.
LMAO direct and to the point, I love it
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