After Conviction For Sex Crimes, Ghislaine Maxwell Announces New Job At CNN
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Ghislaine Maxwell has been convicted on 5 counts related to sex crimes committed against minors for over a decade. A few minutes after her conviction, she announced she has landed a brand-new job at CNN.
"We called Maxwell as soon as the verdict was read," said CNN President Jeff Zucker. "Ghislaine has shown us she has exactly what it takes to work here. This has nothing to do with the fact that she's really good at committing sex crimes. We are hiring her for her... um, many other qualifications. Yeah. Qualifications."
Maxwell will replace Wolf Blitzer as an anchor on The Situation Room and will also be placed in charge of the hiring of all new female interns.
"I am humbled to have been given this new opportunity at CNN," said Maxwell, "and I promise to do my best to find the very best girls—er, I mean, news. The very best news. Yeah. That's what I meant."
Ghislaine Maxwell will broadcast the news from her federal prison cell in New York City until her sentence is completed, or until she kills herself.
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Seems legit.
Shouldn't this be posted under satire?
Satire tag is showing on my screen.
No, it wasn't. You have to pick "Satire" from the drop-down. It was listed under "News and Politics" but I fixed that for you without a penalty, since it seems you didn't realize that was the case.
I admit I am not good with the tags and forget that.
Thank you for proving that what I had said was correct.
It is, look closer.
Perhaps that should be reflected in the "category" which at the moment simply says: "News & Politics".
Once again the conservative Christian supposedly "satire" BabylonBee just makes up some fucking ridiculous claim and their clearly confused conservative readers make comments like "Seems legit".
They might as well have posted the story and headline "Evidence of Epstein Trying to Blackmail Donald Trump and Trump visiting Epstein in Prison just prior to his Mysterious Suicide". It has exactly the same amount of "funny truth" as this moronic slanderous Bee headline.
This also reeks of right wing conservative Qanon bullshit. I suppose if right wing conservative Republicans just claim that their Qanon conspiracy theories and lies are just "satire" then it shouldn't matter how many fucking moronic right wing conservatives actually believe that shit.
I haven't seen much from the BabylonBee that was anything but barely masked contempt for anyone who wasn't a right wing white conservative Christian. It's what they do, they manufacture supposed "satire" by hiding right wing conservative beliefs and conspiracy theories against their opponents in what would be considered vile libel if it wasn't hiding behind satire legal protections. It's like if I posted a seed that I labeled as "satire" that claimed: "Texan 1211 said with a grin on his face "Officer, I wasn't raping that sheep, I was just trying to push him through that fence from behind, over and over and over again..." - Satire... Just making up bullshit quotes and putting them in the mouths of people you hate then claiming it was a joke, isn't really satire and definitely isn't funny. It's weak, lame and shows a severe lack of intelligence as the right wing white conservative Christian Bee writers demonstrate daily.
Dude....lighten up.
Are you saying that the conservative Christian run BabylonBee isn't " making up bullshit quotes and putting them in the mouths of people" they hate?
Clearly the largest number of "victim" members are the fans of the BabylonBee who hate CNN and other media outlets they consider the MSM who some Christians with a few screws loose falsely believe are attacking them. I'm not sure if it's rose tinted, but at minimum shit tinted glasses worn by Bee fans keep them blind to reality by making them laugh at manufactured absurdity which keeps them distracted while their right wing conservative political parties and Churches fleece the fuck out of them.
Red States and the most dependent, have the lowest incomes, are the most likely to have no health insurance, most likely to be on welfare or social security, but are also most likely to either donate to their churches or buy hundreds of dollars worth of useless confederate, Republican or Donald Trump flags, hats and other useless right wing white conservative paraphernalia.
To you and your three thumb-uppers, look closer at Perrie's comment about it.
Fits right in
Hilarious satire but i must agree, she would fit right in on that island of misfits
Let's see if now that she's been convicted she'll make a deal with prosecutors and start naming people like Trump or Clinton.
Bubba better start looking for a non extradition country to move to.
Clinton was a frequent flyer on the "Lolita Express"
It will be interesting to see how long it will be before misfortune befalls her
According to documented logs, so was Trump. Anyone... And I DO mean ANYONE... that is found guilty of having sex with underage girls should be put in the deepest hole they can find.
No Trump was NOT a frequent flyer. 7 times from 93 to 97. Bill Clinton, 26 times from 2001 to 2003
And I agree with the deepest hole sentiment.............
I really don't care if it was 1 - 7 - 70 or 700. IF there is evidence they should be investigated. IF there is enough evidence they should be convicted. I'm not going to quibble about how 7 is so much better or how 26 is so much worse. IF they did then they are scum. Period. Full stop. End of my participation in this partisan eye poking thread.
I agree with you FFS.
Actually Maxwell could end up reporting from the inside on how Trump and Co are doing in prison...
Still dreaming I see.
You don't think she'll do prison time?
Either way, trump wishes her well.
The dreaming part is that Trump is in prison. Or will be going.
She probably won't see prison either. We've already seen Clinton's work. She may meet the same fate as Epstein if she starts dropping names.
You mean Trump, it's ok, no worries.
I see the satire tag but you have confused people here who do no critical thinking and will think this is all true. This should be placed in something other than News/Politics...like a group
I think he can still change it. If it was a "Group Discussion" I don't think you get to designate the category whereas if it is just a general "Discussion", you do.
I think there's a category for humor
Ed Buck convicted, Weinstein convicted and now this? Looks like all the perp donors are being rounded up. May have to get campaign cash from a non pedo for a change.
Tough times.....