Clarence Thomas Receives Invite To Celebration Of First Black Supreme Court Justice
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
U.S.—Justice Clarence Thomas walked out to get his mail this morning and found a surprise in his mailbox. According to sources, he was lucky enough to receive an invitation to celebrate Kentanji Brown Jackson's confirmation as the nation's first black Supreme Court Justice.
"Yippee! I feel so honored to have been invited to such a historic celebration!" said the longtime originalist justice appointed by George H.W. Bush. "Wow—the first black Supreme Court Justice. Who would have thought I'd see such a day?"
Justice Thomas then dropped the rest of the mail and jumped up and down while clutching the RSVP made of pink, lacy stationery.
Several critics have opposed Thomas's invitation to KBJ's barrier-breaking confirmation party. "This day is a victory for black people, not white people like Clarence Thomas," said Betina McSwan, an activist for the group Demand Justice. "He opposed reparations and affirmative action just because it violates the Constitution. Then he voted for Trump, so he ain't black!"
Others were confused by the invitation, saying that Thurgood Marshall deserves to be honored as the first black Supreme Court Justice due to his being the first black Supreme Court Justice.
"That's ridiculous," said McSwan. "Blackness isn't skin color, but is more of an idea, like Antifa, gender, and the Constitution."
At publishing time, Thomas decided not to attend after finding he was only invited so the January 6 committee could bug his house.
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Secular progressives have long denied that Clarence Thomas is really an African American.
Great satire has an element of truth mixed in. Well done to the BB.
I get the joke and all that, but I do think it’s racist to insist that a man is not black or “black enough” if he’s conservative.
“Racist” is what racists tell you it is.
By all means, do digress.
Nah but feel free to pontificate the usual partisan driven deflection and personal attacks.
No worries now, NT po-po will continue to backstop it ....
Well said
Holy shit - the suggestion that Blacks could be racist dumps the teacart again.
Yes Clarence, you also can get life insurance for only $9.99 a month ... and here's a free application hint: Do Not Included Your Death Certificate.
By all means, do digress.
Sure, just for you ... it's a 'satirical' comment on the pic used for the 'satire'.
Keep trying, I hear the onion is hiring.
"That's ridiculous," said McSwan. "Blackness isn't skin color, but is more of an idea, like Antifa, gender, and the Constitution."
She got that right, Betina is one smart lady.
Betina McSwan ... let me know if you figure out the chosen names for this Italian/Viking non-existent lady. It's hard to hear what dogs can't.
Italian Viking? Isn’t Betina Croatian? And McSwan is Irish or Scottish, probably a slave owner 200 years ago.
One wonders if she knows Skeetz MacGrewder. Irish American white trash journalist from Kansatucky
Two Words - Thurgood Marshall
One word ...... satire.
Some people would not recognize satire if you told them it was satire before they read it.
Some people are blinded by the lack of originality in such comments ... you should be celebrating.
Yeah, you should work on that ....
Yet I believe there is still hope for you to say something original.
I have faith that all things are possible, no matter how unlikely.
You should tell chuck Schumer. He doesn’t know thurgood Marshall existed either.
Olde white men getting their jollies ridiculing a major historical milestone for all black women is something worth of a darker kind of satire...
I didn’t know that all the Bee writers were olde white men. Haven’t they also lampooned Trump, Joel Osteen and others on the right?
In a preemptive measure, just for you, he was mentioned - buried deeply in the fifth paragraph.
Her name is Kentanji Brown Jackson? I thought her name was Historic Kentanji Brown Jackson
Still waiting for the first funny Babylon Bee article.
Yet you still read it?
I am pretty sure a sense of humor, a non partisan lens and an appreciation of satire would be required to think their stuff was funny.