'The FBI Raid On Melania's Closet Was Justified,' Says Merrick Garland Wearing Gorgeous New Evening Gown And Sun Hat
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
WASHINGTON, D.C. — With many Americans up in arms over the unprecedented raid of former President Trump's residence in Mar-a-Lago by the FBI, Attorney General Garland released a statement to assure everyone the raid was completely justified. Eyewitnesses noted he looked unusually fetching in an elegant Dolce & Gabbana evening gown and a Dior sun hat.
"We wouldn't raid Trump's Mar-a-Lago estate or Melania's wardrobe unless it was absolutely, 100% necessary," said Garland. "I resent any accusation that this raid was influenced by partisan politics or my insatiable desire to wear pretty designer dresses." The Attorney General then did a little spin in his purple gown as the press gasped with delight.
FBI Director Christopher Wray echoed the statement as he strode up to the Hoover Building in a dazzling pair of diamond-encrusted Alexander McQueen stilettos. "The men and women of the FBI are paragons of unassailable integrity and impartiality, and any suggestion otherwise is murderous treason," he said. Several news outlets present also noted the delicious smell of Chanel No.5 in the air.
At publishing time, Trump took to Truth Social to announce that all his golf clubs were also missing.
Tags
Who is online
75 visitors
Was it not?
I mean to get a judge to sign a warrant, especially that kind, it would seem that the evidence of criminality must be pretty high no?
No, I don't think so.
We should know pretty quick if it was don't you think?
As an LEO I have to disagree and say yeah, the evidence thus far has to be pretty fucking solid. Especially given who it and where it is.
In my experience the people who always bitch that the cops and law are out to get them are the ones who are fucking up. No one else seems to have a problem.
I'm not sure what you are disagreeing with. He is stating the obvious: if the evidence is "pretty fucking solid," then we should be seeing an indictment very soon. We shouldn't be seeing the DOJ play around with this for months.
In keeping with the disgusting tone of this article, and this is not going to be satire - some of you know that my job on this site is to be the spam police. I am notified when every new member signs up, and I check them out to make sure they don't post spam, and if they do I delete them from the site. A couple days ago an American posted a link to a site selling sex dolls. I don't usually, but being a little bored I checked out that site, and saw that the featured sex doll was a Melania doll. I thought no doubt the Trump-lovers could carry out their fantasies with such a doll. This article having been posted made me think that the sex-doll company could probably make a fortune if they created and sold a nude Donald Trump doll that is anatomically correct. With such a doll the Trump lovers, those who are so devoted to him, could carry out their wildest fantasies in private that they would not dare, or be allowed to do, in actuality. And there is no way they could catch monkeypox or AIDS doing it.
Whaaaaaat ? I wanna Party with YOU Cowboy !
Sorry, I'm happily married.
Happily, i'm Divorced from reality !
The second best kind of divorce.
... fucking monkeys isn't a conservative's sport.
The thousands of cases of monkeypox in the USA were not contracted from f*cking monkeys. As well, the name of it is misleading, and led to the killing of a whole lot of innocent monkeys.
The Conservatives didn't kill em, kjiust spanked em
Some people enjoy being spanked.