Tucker Carlson Warns That Alex Jones's Billion-Dollar Penalty Will Have Chilling Effect on Lying | The New Yorker
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
By Andy Borowitz
October 12, 2022 Photograph by Joe Buglewicz / Getty
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A Connecticut jury's imposition of a billion-dollar penalty on Alex Jones will have a "chilling effect on lying," Tucker Carlson warned.
Choking back tears as he delivered his commentary, the Fox News host said that the jury's decision "was no more and no less than a direct attack on the lying life style."
"For those of us who make our living by spreading falsehoods, baseless conspiracy theories, and extremist fever dreams, this is a time to be afraid," he said. "Very afraid."
"I think I speak for many Fox viewers when I say I don't want to live under a tyranny of facts," he added.
Carlson's concerns about the impact of the jury's decision on the mendacity profession found support on Capitol Hill from Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene.
"I want to say that the jury was manipulated by mind-control rays beamed down from the Rothschild family's satellites, but now I can't afford to," she said.
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Jones was the center of an internet bullshit zone slithering with snakeshit4suckers selling coffee cups,T-shirts and Placebo4 © 4-all-that-ails-U. Anyhoot, with a good twist of fair, " ... but now I can't afford to," will shut some of the Rhumba Magadronites down with a good twist of fear. The screw turns.
Without considering this article to be satire, that judgment SHOULD have a chilling effect on lying and spreading false news that causes pain and emotional distress to others.