Journalists Rush To Scene Of Shooting To Determine Whether It's Politically Useful

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  2 days ago  •  4 comments

Journalists Rush To Scene Of Shooting To Determine Whether It's Politically Useful
LOS ANGELES, CA — Several news crews raced to the scene of a reported shooting this morning to determine whether details of the shooting might prove politically useful or not.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



LOS ANGELES, CA — Several news crews raced to the scene of a reported shooting this morning to determine whether details of the shooting might prove politically useful or not.

"I'm Dana Stormcloud with ABC 7 News, and I'm here at the scene of a horrific mass shooting that took place right on this street corner," said one reporter. "Wait--I'm getting reports that the shooter was an illegal immigrant. Ok, never mind! Pack it up, people! Nothing to see here!"

News crews quickly left the scene of the crime, only to slam their brakes and rush back to the scene after reports that the illegal immigrant was a Trump supporter.

"Many in the community are wondering whether Donald Trump's inflammatory rhetoric could have led to this unthinkable slaughter," said Dake Thimblesatch, a local reporter for CBS. "Oh wait-- I'm just now hearing that the shooter was transgender. Never mind then! False alarm, everybody!"

Sources say news organizations are trying to do a better job of getting details of terrible crimes before they send out news crews in order to avoid wasting time on crimes that don't serve their narrative.

At publishing time, news crews rushed back to the scene once again after new details revealed the illegal immigrant, Trump-supporting, trans shooter was also a climate change denier.


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GregTx
Junior Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    2 days ago

512

 
 
 
Drakkonis
Professor Guide
1.1  Drakkonis  replied to  GregTx @1    2 days ago

Well. That about sums it up, doesn't it? 

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
1.1.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Drakkonis @1.1    2 days ago

Seems to....

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
2  Buzz of the Orient    2 days ago

Just out of curiosity, what is the percentage of mass shootings in America that are committed by illegal immigrants?

 
 

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