A Golf Story
The golfer replied that his club had fallen into the water and he needed the club to have a chance to win the tournament and supplement his meagre pension.
The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden club. "Is this your club?" the Lord asked.
The golfer replied, "No”
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver club. "Is this your club?" the Lord asked.
Again, the golfer replied, "No”.
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron club. "Is this your club?" the Lord asked.
The golfer replied, "Yes”.
The Lord was pleased with the golfer's honesty and gave him all three clubs to keep, and the golfer went home happy.
Sometime later, the golfer was walking with his wife along the water hazard, and she fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my woman has fallen into the water!”
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Kate Upton. "Is this your woman?" the Lord asked?
"Yes," cried the golfer. The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"
The golfer replied, "Oh, forgive me Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'No' to Kate Upton, you would have come up with Jennifer Anniston. Then if I said 'No' to her, you would have come up with my woman. Had I then said 'Yes,' you would have given me all three. And Lord, I am an old man not able to take care of all three women in a way that they deserve... that's why I said 'Yes' to Kate Upton.
And the Lord was pleased!
The moral of this story is: If a golfer ever tells a lie, it is for a good and honourable reason and only out of consideration for others!
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Another one emailed to me by my brother. It's a good one for us old folks.
Stay away from water hazards.
Went full on Caddyshack one night as a teen and accidentally drove my own cart into a water hazard on a course that I had helped create.
This was in the days before cellphones, so my options were few.
Walked a couple of miles to a friend of my dads who had a 4WD pickup.
(Everybody has a 4WD now, but back in that day they were rare).
We eventually retrieved it from its watery grave creating ruts that took years to heal.
Found out that it was cheaper to buy a new one than to fix the waterlogged wreck.
Years later when Caddyshack came out, I realized that I wasn't alone in the world.
The actors destroyed many golf carts and many fairways and greens after midnight.
Ya gotta love those early, drug fueled, SNL comic geniuses.
It reminds me of an old Alfred Hitchcock TV episode in which a bigamist is found guilty of fraud and sentenced to 3 years in prison. Hitchcock ended the episode by saying "You'd think having 3 wives would have been punishment enough."
Now THAT'S funny.
Hitchcock always cracked me up with his dead-pan delivery of the very funny.