You're An EXTREME Redneck When....
You're An EXTREME Redneck When....
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You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
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The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
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You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
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You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.
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You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
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Someone in your family died right after saying, ‘Hey, guys, watch this.’
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You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
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Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
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Your junior prom offered day care.
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You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are ‘Gentlemen, start your engines.’
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You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
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The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
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You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
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One of your kids was born on a pool table.
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You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
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You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it.
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You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.And in closing.....
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Two good ol’ boys in an Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.
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After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, “If’n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin’ and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?”
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The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question.
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Finally, he says, “Well, I don’t know about kin, but it would make us even!"
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Don't blame me. This was emailed to me by my brother.
We can laugh at those jokes and don't gat mad
But the good ol' boys might get mad....
No actually, unlike other "groups", the good ol' boys can laugh at themselves.
Most of those jokes came from good ol boys
You're absolutely right. I identify as a redneck because I've lived in the country nearly all my life. Even my spouse thinks I'm too redneck at times (he's a city boy and I make fun of that)
Great way to start the day! Thanks Buzz.
Always glad to be of service...
Those are funny Buzz, I do have to make 1 correction tho.
No self respecting redneck would say,
The proper term would be, "Hold my beer".
Fair point.
It's "Play Ball!" in my house
2 of my favorites
You might be a redneck if,
"Your mother doesn't take the Marlboro out of the corner of her mouth before telling the State Trooper to kiss her ass.
Or,
You have to spend the weekend helping your richest relative take the wheels off his new house.
Good ones to add to the list.
This one has a flaw. To be complete, it should read "Hey guys, hold my beer and watch this". In fact, I think that phrase should be a sub title on the Darwin Awards list.
It isn't always a redneck who does that one. A lawyer in Toronto at a party at his high floor office, after what had to be more than a drink or two, wanted to prove how strong the windows were by pushing on one, and fell about 24 floors. True story.
Snopes says it's a true story. He became a prime recipient of the Darwin Awardl
LINK ->