How can you not Love this Japanese Doctor~
How can you not Love this Japanese Doctor~
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that's it... Don't waste time on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; its like saying you extend life of a car by driving faster. Want to live longer?
Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that means they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too.
Bottoms up!
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of one, sorry.
My philosophy: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil.
How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable!
It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is also a shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
Finally the Japanese Doctor summed up:
Look mister, Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Beer in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride my life was"!!!!! Eat whatever you like because you will still DIE, don't allow motivational speakers deceive you.
FACTS
1. The inventor of the treadmill had died at the age of 54
2. The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57
3. The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41
4. The best footballer in the world Maradona, died at the age of 60.
BUT
5. The KFC inventor died at 94.
6. Inventor of Nutella brand died at the age of 88
7. Imagine, cigarette maker Winston died at the age of 102
8. The inventor of opium died at the age of 116 in an earthquake
9. Hennessey inventor dies at 98.
How did these doctors come to the conclusion that exercise prolongs life?
The rabbit is always jumping up and down but it lives for only 2 years and the turtle that doesn’t exercise at all, lives 400 years.
So, Take some rest, Chill, Stay cool, eat, drink and enjoy your life. You will still die.
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Another goodie emailed to me by my 90 year old brother who swims every day.
I had already seen the "facts" listed at the bottom some years ago, but I still enjoyed the reminder.
The author sounds like an ex workmate of mine , last seen with a Jim Beam in one hand, an holding a smoking cigar in the other. He was 93 when last heard of !!
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My great-grandfather lived till 96 and I know he enjoyed the pleasures of life.
Yesterday, we got old neighbor out of assisted living for his 92nd birthday, he wanted crabcakes, steak, mac & cheese and cornbread and chocolate pie, the seafood truck closed early so he missed shrimp. He also drank most of a pint of vodka and smoked 2 big cigars. He looks like Winston Churchill when he has his big cigar. A good time was had by all.
His birthday present is 92 pulltabs for his weekly visit to the Moose Club.
By "Moose Club" did you mean the Loyal Order of Moose?
Yes, a great organization. I have been a member for a long time.
If the plural of "goose" is "geese", why isn't the plural of "moose" "meese"?
Sounds like good advice so long as everything is enjoyed in moderation. I don’t understand all my family and friends who are running and biking fanatics. They’ve all had their hips and/or knees replaced in their 40’s. My cousin’s case is particularly bad because she is a recovering addict. Her physical recovery from an hip replacement involved pain killers that ultimately led to a relapse and overdose that nearly killed her. Then during her ensuing dependency recovery she really got hooked on exercise, during which time she was also battling breast cancer. She ran a marathon with a new chemo delivery port in her neck that got infected from all the sweat and grime and she nearly died of sepsis.
Seems we might be better off following the Japanese doctor's advice.