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The Paint Can

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

By:  buzz-of-the-orient  •  last year  •  15 comments

The Paint Can

The Paint Can

A newlywed couple wanted to join a church.

The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from sex for an entire month."

The couple agreed and, after two-and-a-half weeks, returned to the church.

When the Pastor ushered them into his office, the wife was crying, and the husband obviously was very depressed.

"You are back so soon...Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.

"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex for the required month," the young man replied sadly.

The pastor asked him what happened.

"Well, the first week was difficult; however, we managed to abstain through sheer willpower.

The second week was terrible, but, with the use of prayer, we managed to abstain.

The third week, however, was unbearable.

We tried cold showers, prayer, reading from the Bible, or anything to keep our minds free of carnal thoughts.

But one afternoon, my wife reached for a can of paint and dropped it. 

When she bent over to pick it up, I noticed that she didn't have panties on and I was overcome with lust and I had my way with her, right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly.

"You understand this means you will not be welcome into our church," stated the pastor.

"We know," said the young man, hanging his head.

"We're not welcome at HOME DEPOT anymore, either!!"


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Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1  author  Buzz of the Orient    last year

Emailed to me by my 90 year old brother - still thinking about sex at 90???

 
 
 
Snuffy
Professor Participates
1.1  Snuffy  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1    last year
still thinking about sex at 90???

I don't know...   I mean, at 90 what more can you do here than just think about it?   

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.1.1  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Snuffy @1.1    last year

LOL

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2  Trout Giggles    last year

LOL!!!!!!!

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
2.1  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Trout Giggles @2    last year

It's actually a Canadian story.  It wasn't HOME DEPOT in the original story, it was CANADIAN TIRE, which is a Canadian car products and hardware big box store franchise with stores across the country, so I changed it to HOME DEPOT since almost all who would read the story are Americans.

 
 
 
Thomas
Masters Guide
3  Thomas    last year

Good one, Buzz!

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
3.1  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Thomas @3    last year

In order to give us all a break from politics and gun violence I try to sneak in a bit of humour every once in a while. 

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
4  Jasper2529    last year

Thanks for the laugh, Buzz!

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
4.1  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Jasper2529 @4    last year

It's the best medicine, isn't it.

 
 
 
Jasper2529
Professor Quiet
4.1.1  Jasper2529  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @4.1    last year

It surely is!

 
 
 
pat wilson
Professor Participates
5  pat wilson    last year

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Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
5.1  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  pat wilson @5    last year

Well said.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
6  Kavika     last year

LOL

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
6.1  author  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Kavika @6    last year

A joke in time is worth 9 political articles. 

 
 
 
1stwarrior
Professor Participates
6.1.1  1stwarrior  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @6.1    last year

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