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Trudeau Attempts To Distract From Nazi Controversy By Growing Cool New Mustache

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  last year  •  10 comments

Trudeau Attempts To Distract From Nazi Controversy By Growing Cool New Mustache
OTTAWA — After an embarrassing incident in which the Canadian government honored a Nazi SS veteran in parliament, Canada's dictator Justin Trudeau attempted to distract from the controversy by unveiling some cool new facial hair.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


OTTAWA — After an embarrassing incident in which the Canadian government honored a Nazi SS veteran in parliament, Canada's dictator Justin Trudeau attempted to distract from the controversy by unveiling some cool new facial hair.

"If there's anything that has been a real asset to me in my career, it's my beautiful Cuban hair," said Trudeau to official state media reporters. "Canadians will swoon when they see my sexy new mustache and all will be forgiven! Wenn du wie die Sonne strahlen willst, musst du zuerst so brennen!"

Hundreds of gathered supporters gasped with delight upon seeing Trudeau's new look for the first time.

Members of the Liberal Party of Canada applauded the deft move by Trudeau, praising his new look as "sophisticated," "alluring," and "wunderbar." "We are so grateful to our beloved Trudeau for helping Canada move past this dark and humiliating chapter," said MP Anna Gainey. "Just look at him! He's so dreamy, eh?"

At publishing time, Trudeau attempted to further make amends for the shameful incident by instituting a day of remembrance in honor of the guy who killed Hitler.


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GregTx
Professor Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    last year

jrSmiley_43_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
2  Buzz of the Orient    last year

Beautiful Cuban hair?  Well, after all, his father was good friends with Fidel.  

By the way, who DID kill Hitler?  I always thought he committed suicide.  Does that mean that Herr Trudeau is declaring a day of remembrance for Der Fuehrer himself?

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
2.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @2    last year
By the way, who DID kill Hitler? I always thought he committed suicide. 

I've read of both theories. Perhaps it was the SS veteran that was just at parliament?...

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
2.1.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  GregTx @2.1    last year

If that were true, then that veteran SHOULD have been applauded as a hero. 

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
2.1.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @2.1.1    last year

Following the orders of a madman should be applauded?....

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
2.1.3  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  GregTx @2.1.2    last year

Please let me understand you.  You said "both theories" and I assumed you meant that one of them was someone murdered Hitler.  In which case I said that if that guy invited to Parliament was the one who murdered Hitler he SHOULD be applauded.  How would that be following the orders of a madman?

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
2.1.4  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @2.1.3    last year

You think it took till the bitter end to motivate someone to murder Hitler?..

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
2.1.5  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  GregTx @2.1.4    last year

I have no idea what that has to do with my question.  So explain your "both theories" if I have misunderstood you.  In any event wasn't there an attempt to assassinate Hitler, as depicted in the movie Valkyrie?

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
2.1.6  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @2.1.5    last year

One was that he killed himself and one was that someone else did it for him. I've always felt it was the latter, a neurotic psychopath narcissist having the courage or conviction?.. c'mon 

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
2.1.7  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  GregTx @2.1.6    last year

Okay, then that guy was unlikely to be in Hitler's bunker at the time of his death.  I thought you might have meant assassinating Hitler before that, like the Valkyrie attempt. 

 
 

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