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Dorks Of Nation Helpfully Identify Themselves By Wearing Solar Eclipse Glasses

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  8 months ago  •  35 comments

Dorks Of Nation Helpfully Identify Themselves By Wearing Solar Eclipse Glasses
U.S. — Dorks across the nation have begun helpfully identifying themselves for the general populace by all wearing solar eclipse glasses.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


U.S. — Dorks across the nation have begun helpfully identifying themselves for the general populace by all wearing solar eclipse glasses.

"Oh, look honey, another huge dork," said local man Ben Williamson to his wife as they spotted another man with eclipse glasses. "Gosh, I had no idea there were so many giant dorks in this country!"

According to the dorks, the eclipse glasses are carefully crafted by the American Astronomical Society to keep away ultraviolet rays and anyone of the opposite sex. "It's very important to check that your solar eclipse glasses are certified as ISO 12312-2:2015," explained local dork Tommy Reese. "The glasses should also come with a certificate of conformity from the POCE laboratory, which you should keep with you in case anyone questions whether you are, in fact, a massive dork."

The dorks have reportedly begun traveling in packs, renting out houses along the path of the solar eclipse for little dork gatherings. "There are literally planes filled with dorks arriving in Arkansas for the eclipse," explained local woman Tanya Mason. "Our little town of 1,200 has been completely overrun with these dorks. It's like there's a dork migration happening."

At publishing time, a man who had forgotten his glasses had taken to holding up a sign reading, "HUGE DORK" with an arrow pointing to his face.


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GregTx
Professor Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    8 months ago

jrSmiley_91_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
2  CB    8 months ago

Always with the name-calling as little to nothing gets a pass from some groups of people.

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
2.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  CB @2    8 months ago

Groups? Sounds a little prejudicial...

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
2.1.1  CB  replied to  GregTx @2.1    8 months ago

Can't help how it sounds, but the groups of people should know who they are because of what they practice.

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
2.1.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  CB @2.1.1    8 months ago

Agreed. 

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Senior Expert
2.1.3  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  CB @2.1.1    8 months ago
the groups of people should know who they are because of what they practice.

Groups don’t think, individuals do.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
2.1.4  CB  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @2.1.3    8 months ago

Group-think is a thing.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Senior Expert
2.1.5  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  CB @2.1.4    8 months ago

No, human brains don’t link automatically into a group.

 
 
 
CB
Professor Principal
2.1.6  CB  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @2.1.5    8 months ago

So pretend you don't know what group-think is. Go ahead, I won't stop you . jrSmiley_99_smiley_image.jpg

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Guide
3  MrFrost    8 months ago

512

I cannot even believe people voted for this piece of shit. 

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
3.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  MrFrost @3    8 months ago

No doubt..

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
3.2  sandy-2021492  replied to  MrFrost @3    8 months ago

There are people defending her.  People who apparently don't have a fucking clue how plate tectonics and orbits work.

Give dumbasses like them time and more seats in Congress, and they'll be sacrificing virgins to volcanoes.

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
3.2.1  Ronin2  replied to  sandy-2021492 @3.2    8 months ago

You mean like people defending this leftist moron?

Or the people defending this other leftist moron? There are just so damn many leftist morons.

Oh look here is another leftist moron that people are defending,

Republicans had better start multiplying the number of their morons to compensate.

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
3.2.2  sandy-2021492  replied to  Ronin2 @3.2.1    8 months ago

But, but, what about...?

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
3.2.3  devangelical  replied to  sandy-2021492 @3.2.2    8 months ago

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Senior Expert
3.2.4  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  sandy-2021492 @3.2.2    8 months ago
But, but, what about...?

Exactly, what about idiots on the other side?

People who are worried about Guam tipping over, apparently don't have a fucking clue how plate tectonics work.

 
 
 
bugsy
Professor Participates
3.3  bugsy  replied to  MrFrost @3    8 months ago

This idiot thinks earthquakes are because of climate change

 
 
 
fineline
Freshman Silent
4  fineline    8 months ago

I saw video of an Orange Faced Pig looking at the last eclipse with NO protective eyewear !

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
4.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  fineline @4    8 months ago

So it didn't look like a dork?...

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Participates
4.2  Thrawn 31  replied to  fineline @4    8 months ago

That's called a retard. 

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Guide
4.3  MrFrost  replied to  fineline @4    8 months ago

512

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
4.3.1  devangelical  replied to  MrFrost @4.3    8 months ago

he was in the "does staring at the eclipse without eye protection cause brain damage?" control group...

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
5  Freefaller    8 months ago

Apparently I'm a dork, and damn proud of it

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Participates
6  Thrawn 31    8 months ago

Meh, I am a dork, and?

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
6.1  sandy-2021492  replied to  Thrawn 31 @6    8 months ago

I have a 10-pack of eclipse glasses and a filter for my cell phone, and I don't care who knows it.

 
 
 
Gsquared
Professor Principal
6.1.1  Gsquared  replied to  sandy-2021492 @6.1    8 months ago

Bold.

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
6.1.3  sandy-2021492  replied to  MonsterMash @6.1.2    8 months ago

Nope.  I'll just feel disappointed.

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Masters Guide
7  Right Down the Center    8 months ago

For those of you that can't get glasses

432935218_10162259315985572_3290336801197026160_n.jpg?_nc_cat=108&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=5f2048&_nc_ohc=r5Dcsf1FIHYAb7BUj7W&_nc_ht=scontent-bos5-1.xx&oh=00_AfAsm8aYU2V-Moa6Hd2FYxn0iNu09w7d5VjMtLxNSV5WaA&oe=661897FE

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
7.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Right Down the Center @7    8 months ago

512

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Guide
8  MrFrost    8 months ago

512

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
9  charger 383    8 months ago

Some clouds but i got to see Pac-Man eat the Sun

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
9.1  sandy-2021492  replied to  charger 383 @9    8 months ago

256

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
9.2  sandy-2021492  replied to  charger 383 @9    8 months ago

256

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
9.2.1  charger 383  replied to  sandy-2021492 @9.2    8 months ago

great pictures.  Today had something different to observe. 

 
 

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