Members Of Congress Explain They Need Pay Raises To Keep Up With The Inflation They Caused
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Though Americans were up in arms when news broke that lawmakers were pushing to give themselves an increase in salary, members of Congress insisted that they needed the pay increase to keep up with the inflation they caused.
Representatives were quick to defend the proposed pay increase in the face of heavy criticism, citing the need to keep up with the rising cost of living due to the economic difficulties caused by Congress' failure to address rampant inflation.
"The last pay increase we voted to give ourselves just isn't cutting it," explained House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We need more money to make ends meet after we've spent the last several years making sure everything is more expensive and making sure nobody's money goes as far as it used to. Not only do we deserve this raise, but quite frankly, we need it to pay our bills. And that's what taxpayer dollars are for — paying for someone else's expenses."
Sources from within closed-door congressional meetings warned that legislators may be forced to find ways to solve inflation if they are unable to obtain raises. "How else do taxpayers expect us to keep affording things they can't afford themselves?" one congressman asked under the condition of anonymity. "We've worked hard to make sure living in the United States isn't cheap, and we think we deserve a little reward for that hard work. Is that so wrong?"
At publishing time, members of Congress had grown concerned that failure to secure a pay increase may require them to learn to become fiscally responsible.
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This is more sad than funny.
The dumb fucks that caused this sustained inflation want pay raises; and the Establishment Republican enablers are all on board to screw the tax payers over.
Funny, I don't remember Democrats ever negotiating with Republicans when they held the reins of power.
As Obama so eloquently put it.
There should be no negotiating with the Democrat economic terrorists that wrecked the economy.
Republicans were elected to end the Democrat bullshit; not enable it.
The enablers need to be replaced at midterm primaries.
That comment is hilarious, but then this article is satire....
Interesting topic since the House is still "controlled" by the GOP.
By law, Congress is entitled to to a COLA based on inflation, not be less than zero (clever lawmakers) or greater than 5% in any given year,
The as yet, anonymously proposed 3.8%, may or might not be in the agreed to CR passed today.
There were stupid rumors repeated by stupid people like Elon Musk that Congress voted itself a 40% pay raise when in fact the opposite is quite true.
Congress has been shamed or cock blocked into forgoing their annual raise since 2006 meaning that today's Congress is making 40% less than lawmakers did in 2006.
This comment is not satire.
Yup. It's funny how they are trying to put words in the mouth of the "House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries" not the House Majority Leader who actually has some legislative power.
While that may be true, the complainers are comparing the salaries against their own, not against legislative salaries from 18 years ago. So, no matter what increase they suggest some won't be happy since its way more than they make bagging groceries.
Mmmmm, yeah, no doubt it about those lower classes that don't make as much being upset.....
Couldn't have anything to do with a majority of Americans that think you should earn it before you cry about it...
Like him?...
Are you sure that's not satire?