Canada places 200% tariff on little Canadian flags Americans wear while travelling
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
OTTAWA – As US President Trump ’s unilaterally-launched trade war continues, Canadians have struck back with counter- tariffs on a valued American item: the little Canadian flag patches Americans put on their luggage while travelling abroad.
The 200% counter- tariff are expected to severely impact US citizens’ ability to pass as Canadians while visiting other countries. This will limit Americans’ chances to enjoy the benefits of being welcomed as Canadians, while not getting shunned for being obnoxious yanks.
“Passing as Canadians while travelling is the cornerstone of America ’s international relations strategy,” explains Sheila Grubnick, chair of the US Foreign Relations Council. “From stoned Iowa undergrads buying weed in Amsterdam, to Marco Rubio trying to keep his luggage from getting spit on by Dutch baggage handlers, Canadian flag patches are necessary for us to fly literally anywhere.”
Grubnick continues, “After Canadian flag patches, America’s entire diplomatic framework consists of Truth Social posts where the president calls other countries ‘cucks’. Our State Department needs those little maple leaves!”
Newly-installed Prime Minister Mark Carney enacted the targeted Patch Tariff, drawing on his years of experience abroad as Governor of the Bank of England.
“Sometimes the only way for American tourists to get served in a European restaurant was by stitching a Canadian flag patch to their backpack, blazer, or gown,” Carney explained. “Despite this, they’re often given away by their Southern accents or demands for ranch dressing.”
Prime Minister Carney maintains that the 200% Flag Patch tariffs will stay in place as long as Trump’s tariffs do. “In the meantime I’m sure Americans can skip vacationing on the sunny beaches of Monaco or Thailand, and instead travel to the meth gator-infested swamps of Florida.”
Across the United States, several Americans reacted to the Canadian Flag Patch tariffs.
Harold Skemps of New York says, “I tried travelling with an American flag patch one time, but I just kept getting pelted with croissants. I need a maple leaf!”
Sue Hawkes of Indiana commented, “Do they got NASCAR in other countries? Well then why am I going there in the first place?”
Joseph Grambs of Kentucky commented, “Without a Canadian patch I guess my only option for foreign travel is to enlist and wait for the next invasion.”
At press time, Canada is considering 500% counter-tariffs on all ketchup chips.
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True myths ... stuff to teach one's grandchildren.
(this one's for Buzz)
And I enjoyed it. Sometimes satire is more real than you think.
Last time Trump was pres we went to Italy and we totally told some people we were Canadian.
Smart move.
I have an idea. Stop acting like an Ugly American and more like a Polite Canadian and maybe you won't need the Maple Leaf. Or you could attempt a fake Canadian accent. Remember about is pronounced "aboot"
The only people up here who say 'aboot' are Americans trying to sound Canadian.
Soory, you are wrong aboot dat eh.
lol
I've been living in Canada since 1957 and have not once heard a Canadian say 'aboot' unless they are mocking US preconceptions about their northern betters which believe me are vast and prolific.
Now Buzz may showup and disagree but he's from Ontario and I'm from Quebec ... that twain just ain't going to meet and especially if it's not over something manifestly trivial.
I see JustJim thumbed up your comment. Yo, JJttth ... you've only visited Canada vicariously through your son.
Raised in ON have lived in the Yukon, BC, Labrador, NS and AB and never have I heard a Canadian pronounce the word aboot except in the circumstances you describe. I blame the people who believe Trailor Park Boys is a factual documentary about Canadians for spreading this misinformation
PS: Funny article
You mean Trailer Park Boys isn’t factual, oh my trouble in Manitoba.
having spent a good part of my life living on the Minnesota/Manitoba border I’ll have to agree I’ve never heard Canadians use “aboot” except to make fun.
both my grandfather and grandmother who were born on the Red River settlement in Manitoba in the 1870s never ever said aboot.
so now you have the expert opinion of a American/Canadian on the matter.
No way do I disagree. The only time I've ever heard anyone say "aboot" was when Americans incompetently try to imitate Canadians with that exaggerated mispronunciation. Of course Canadians don't say abaaauuwwt like Americans do since that's a ridiculous mispronunciation as well.
That has been true, but NEVER vicious, and those out West say they don't like Ontarians either, and all Canadians make fun of Newfies. BUT, with what Trump has been saying and doing to insult and harm Canadians, ALL Canadians now stand together as a unified force: "Buy Canadian" "Travel Canada".
This is some hilarious satire.
Thx!
Somebody should tell all those holywood circus clowns that are moving to Canada.
Why? Flags (2 per porch) are free up here and we are so diverse it's the only way to tell who's a recent pollinator.
Wait... The flags are free? So... A 200% tariff is...
No tariff for Canadians if the Canadian flags are made in Canada.
Morning..huh..we certainly don't have any worries about American's trying to imitate Aussies..
All anyone has to do is mention Vegemite and they will run for the hills..🦘
send every human in the world a jar and then oz can take over the planet while everybody is blowing chunks ...
I am having a bit of vegemite on my morning toast at the moment.
G’day from Broken Hill, Australia home of mines, red dirt and my grandson and family.
Morning... excellent Kavika..good to see you have been converted for the greater good..
Would be a nice time to go there as the worst of the heat will be gone now...
Glad you are having a great time by the sounds with the rellies..
Where are you heading next?
I am flying to Brisbane next week to visit rellies and meet some I have never met before so should be fun..I will be out Toowoomba way...
Next Tuesday we will be headed back to Orange for 3 days to say g’bye to the family and on to Sydney for 3 days to see friends and then back to the US.
Evening...safe travels and enjoy..🐨
That's because they don't understand the Australian language.
Morning...and that's just the way we like it...