The Nature of Internet Friendships

I have many friends on the net and I try to treat them as I would a personal friend in the real world, though interractions can be harder as it's hard to do 'body language' in the virtual world. Dennis McCann from NV and I are friends, though many of our political views are diametrically opposed. There are many here that hate him, same on FB (I've received messages from people telling me stories, but lacking personal experience with those stories, I don't put a lot of faith in them). Some people come here for affirmation, some people come just to talk and express themselves and their opinions. Some come here for other reasons-to be the thorn in the side of everything.

Perrie-you and I have both had experiences where someone we thought of as a 'good friend' suddenly went rabid (for lack of a better term). Maybe in the real world you would see clues to that person's real personality you wouldn't see online, but then again, some people are good at hiding their true persona even in the real world......like serial killers........

I personally don't enter into a friend's article if I know that our points of view are too different to find a common ground and it will damage a friendship. As I said earlier, I regard it as part of the social contract with the site that I participate on. I am all too aware that once the words I write are out there in the public domain for all to see and it's hard to erase the damage they have done. If there is something to learn from my recent experience is that all should be clear what they expect from their friendships when we engage each other in debate, because once the words are pounded out on our respective keyboards, there is no taking them back. And there's the rub....

It's the same way in off-line relationships too. I've got friends that I will engage inconversation, sometimes even disagreeing, and experience has taught me that not all conversations are worthwhile, or worth attempting to carry to a conclusion. Why wreck a relationship debating things that may not even matter one bit in the scheme of everyday life? There is nothing wrong with having differing views, but to allow a different viewpoint to come between friends really is silly. Now there may be the occasion where the debate isn't just intellectual, it has real-world bearing on either party's well being orlivelihood. In those cases it's ok to be cautious and judicious: if the relationship is worth having, conversations may take years and be painstaking. In nearly every case it's worth it. There are also some tried and true methods to help ease feelings after a difficult discussion, not easily doneonline. A handshake or hug, a beerand a fattie around the campfire...

Onlinefriendships are more fragile in some ways, harder to maintain, andnot easily healed; but, are also rewarding in ways that offline friendships simply aren't.

Hey Gar,

I try to treat everyone on the internet as I would treat them if I met them. I think that it makes for a better experience. Trust is a whole other issue....

Perrie-you and I have both had experiences where someone we thought of as a 'good friend' suddenly went rabid (for lack of a better term). Maybe in the real world you would see clues to that person's real personality you wouldn't see online, but then again, some people are good at hiding their true persona even in the real world......like serial killers........

This is true! We were both stung by the same killer queen and I have to say that it smarts for a long time. We were both her good friends.... till we weren't. Then her gloves were off. It is something that I learned from... that is the trust issue. It takes a lot longer before I do that now.

That BTW doesn't apply to you, luv

Larry,

I totally agree with your POV on both real life and internet friendships. Pride often steps in the way on both... and the results can devastating and often not realized until the dust has settled.

Whateva! You hate me now Perrie, I can tell!

A chocolate martini might help...

Oh man! Yeah achocolate martini would be the trick I need today. I have a headache. LOL!

BTW I love ya man! (and Arlene, too)

Love you too Sis and tell Matt I said hey!

:~)

Personally, if there is an expectation of avoidance or compliance, that is destructive to a discussion. An expectation of support or agreement...is in opposition to honesty,, and destructive to the discussion.

To me, the less social interaction, the most honest.

A lot of that depends on the relationship, whether off or on Line. Also that dynamic shift is considerable when the relationship is both on and off Line. Also, there are folks online who simply do not want a relationship other that intellectual sparring; that's ok and all, yet not the only fashion in which everyone communicates.

Also, there are folks online who simply do not want a relationship other that intellectual sparring; that's OK and all, yet not the only fashion in which everyone communicates.

Hit the nail on the head Larry, and those are the ones who seem to delight in derailing articles.

If by "internet Friend," the implication is that the so-called friendship is limited solely to interactions on the internet itself, that is IMO, not necessarily synonymous with "being a friend."

While "internet friends" may never meet face-to-face, the sharing of concerns about health and family and "personal" information -- all gestures that manifest "caring" -- expressed by phone, cards, even an occasional small gift etc. -- these not just by way of cyberspace -- are what separates "e-friends" from "true friends."

My two cents.

I try consciously and regularly to express that discussions/debates/disagreements/rebuttals occurring on line (as on NT), are not personal, at least not on my part.

Buzz,

I still buy one Mega Millions lottery ticket for every Tuesday and Friday drawing.

My hope is to win and bring some of the NT boys together for a week or so of fishing, good conversation, photography and friendship -- all on me of course.

You are one of those NT "boys" -- it would be a highlight of my life as friendships go.

Damn it. When I tried to edit my comment it wouldn't save so I deleted it. I guess now nobody can open it. At least you saw it and I'm happy for that.

You wrote about how you met your wife, a friend who was a bus ride away -- wife of same nationality, and a generic description of internet friends.

If I can remember anything else, I'll post it.

Yeah, I know you want in BF.....

You're gonna have to earn it.

Gee Robert, so cynical...

I have enjoyed the friendships that I have made through both NV and NT.

I try consciously and regularly to express that discussions/debates/disagreements/rebuttals occurring on line (as on NT), are not personal, at least not on my part.

Which I feel is a very important thing; not making it personal.

Please do Mac!

Dear Friend Perrie: I am impressed with the care and thought that went into your excellent article. You pose key questions to those of us in the blogosphere.

Equally, I find the responses of great value. All raise important points and issues.

I have little to say, and will probably say it less well than already has appeared here.

I try to be positive. I believe I taking into account all viewpoints. Those which are not compatible with mine may well be more appropriate. Who can really say.

I opine it is good to show respect to one and all. It costs nothing, and goes a long way.

It is my ideal, and I am hardly alone in this that we are to be the keepers of our brothers and sisters, all in the family of humanity. We should love our neighbors as ourselves.

It is fine to reach out a hand in friendship to everyone. Who is to say, now and in future who will need it?

Peace, Abundant Blessings (including the blessing of friendship: v/t or r/t).

Enoch.

Actually, as I said in my earlier comment, the friendship part.

But if you are asking me something other than that... please go on.

Enoch,

I have found your presence here on the forum nothing but wonderfully pleasant and very insightful.

It is my ideal, and I am hardly alone in this that we are to be the keepers of our brothers and sisters, all in the family of humanity. We should love our neighbors as ourselves.

This is exactly what I am talking about. Everything you do here tells me this.

Well I agree that no one has 500 best friends... but that doesn't mean you can't make some friends.. if the mood so hits. I didn't start at NV to make friends, but to express my opinions. I am glad that an unforeseen byproduct, was that I did make friends.

So your no choirboy. Well, I guess I can understand that.

As Billy Joel once said:

They say there's a heaven for those who will wait
Some say it's better but I say it ain't
I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints
Sinners are much more fun...

BTW, I do actually tell my "friends" my real opinion. It's just not personal.

I hate to appear petulant, but where I am now for a few weeks I'm using a much better computer and better internet connection yet the same glitches happen to screw up the things I try to do. Perrie, you know what they are because I don't hesitate to complain. Either the problems are national here, or the glitches are in the Ning system. I really don't need the frustration right now because I'm bearing enough of them right now without these internet problems.

Then there is a forth group, like me. I'm no longer inclined to seek out friendship in any virtual environment. 95% of my online friends I know or either have met before in real time. I like to keep my virtual world separate from my real world.

While there are rare exceptions, this kind of delineation works well for me.

I'll clarify; my comment wasn't about derailing.

Though I think that Larry C's comment does also bring up another important point. Clear communication between individuals online is usually more difficult with more participants. the more personalities involved, the more interpretations and conclusions. A lot of times those who know each other well enough, understand what the other person means when they post. For some though, a more personal relationship than the normal "online friends" is helpful in understanding posts/comments. It's a matter of personal style and preference.

Buzz,

A bit off topic here, but I will answer.

It's probably Ning. I have written them and I am still awaiting a reply. If this keeps up, I will be looking for new digs for us.

I can understand that Aeon.

Hal,

You are kind of right. When we are sitting behind our computer screens what do we know about each other? You can get bits a pieces after a while. Sometimes after that, we might actually make phone contact, if we really like a person... but not most of the time. Voice conveys more of who a person is. Then maybe we meet. Still could be in for an unpleasant surprise... but from the people I have done this with, it has all been a blast and I really end up liking them more.

But I will still engage in discussion and even disagree with them. If you are friends, your friendship should be able to withstand that.

Full disclosure - that's how I picture Badfish)

LOL... now that is funny.... because I have actually met Badfish when my mom was in the hospital in Texas. He is a 100% class act, with a very charming personality to go along with a very easy to like breezy laid back manner. We had a wonderful lunch together and it was a delight.

I have also met Larry H and one other member who wants to remain anonymous, and both of them are wonderful guys and Larry's wife is a doll. These were experiences I am so glad that I didn't miss out on.

I have never worn a thong or banana hamock either LOL

But I'll pay to see that, LOL!

I think you have described Internet Friendship very well!

I "friend" people that I like, find interesting, and/or have something in common with. I look forward to knowing them better. Of those friends, I have close friends. Personally, if there is someone with whom I disagree completely, I won't enter into a discussion about those things that we don't see eye to eye on. Or, if I must, I will try to show respect for their viewpoint, but disagree in a polite way.

To me, it is polite, and because I truly care about them, I don't want to hurt their feelings or upset them. Why would I? They are my friends.

....Larry's wife is a doll.

I happen to agree, she is my andthank youPerrie.

These are my thoughts, Perrie:

Are there different degrees of friendship as we have in real life, or should we regard anyone we we meet on the internet as less than a real life friend?

Yes...varying degrees and I don't think everyone is being honest in intent (online or in person - because human nature generally seeks those that have something they need or want. I don't, because I generally am looking for the character traits, but then it might also be a gender quality that makes a difference. I've noticed men often make friends with other men that will help them do projects - women tend to make friends because they share the same or similar nature.

I think any relationship online needs time to decide where the other person is coming from...and what they want from it.

There are many who would say, that we should engage our internet friends in dialog, because that is the purpose of the a discussion site. I am not totally convinced that this is true because our community has very diverse views and therefore this is not always possible. There are just certain hot button topics that make all of us lose it. So then, the question becomes, does an internet friend leave those articles alone for the sake of the friendship or do they engage, for the sake of the topic? That is the bigger question.

Yes. I agree. I guess everyone has that decision and handles it differently.

I personally don't enter into a friend's article if I know that our points of view are too different to find a common ground and it will damage a friendship.

Same here, mostly. For me, I often see nearly everyone is multi-faceted. We have different ideas about different things. I tend to exchange on points of interest to me rather than to comment on points of dissension.

Yes, what we say - the words - is what will be remembered, unless --- we take the time to explain the words and then they might see what we meant by them, instead of what they perceived or 'wanted' the words to mean. All too often, people only hear what they 'want' to hear.

BF, certainly surprising to me, I almost thought about you the way Hal does, LOL...your comments, nice way to relieve yourself of those frustrating moments while talking to banks, I know finance work can be very frustrating but I do enjoy the work, not necessarily the people in contact with on a daily basis...

There are also some people on NT who never talk about themselves, but only the topics, which is where I fall.

Me too, and it is also how I think topical discussion should work - no matter how many times someone might think contrary to my point.

If you look at NT, we see some people who are constantly telling personal anecdotes about themselves, and injecting their personal lives as the reason they believe such and such as social policy. This is all anecdotal argument, and not persuasive, or any more so than saying I believe such and such because I read it in the National Enquirer.

I agree with that, too. We understand that personal experience influences our thinking and attitudes. We want the thoughts and how they fit in with the topic, not the long, personal story that leads to one's conclusions. We might think differently on some of the conclusions, but I like your articles and comments because we agree on the chosen path.

LOL.. I just don't get why people saw BF in their mind's eye that way. He never seemed that way to me, even before I met him.

Hi Chloe!

Yes...varying degrees and I don't think everyone is being honest in intent (online or in person - because human nature generally seeks those that have something they need or want.

Well first, obviously some folks are hiding who they are. That is why they use avatars and use fake names. But I would also say that a lot of people are exactly the way they are on the internet as they are in real life. I know that I am. As for seeking something they need or want... a bit too cynical for me.

I've noticed men often make friends with other men that will help them do projects - women tend to make friends because they share the same or similar nature.

Gonna disagree with you here.. at least for me. I have had many guys who are my friends. We share common interests and love to share ideas. I have always have a harder time with my friendships with woman... they are more complex than men. With men for the most part, what you see is what you get.. with woman, that isn't always the case.

I have always have a harder time with my friendships with woman... they are more complex than men. With men for the most part, what you see is what you get.. with woman, that isn't always the case.

Hi Perrie, I thought I was the only one, glad at least another female thinks the way I do about male friendships...

Oh for sure CM. Most of my closest friends are men and the few woman that I am friends think very much like men.

they are more complex than men. With men for the most part, what you see is what you get.. with woman, that isn't always the case.

Ha ha ha. You hit the nail on the head. We are very simple beings, us men.

We are very simple beings, us men.

In a good way, yes.

Well first, obviously some folks are hiding who they are. That is why they use avatars and use fake names. But I would also say that a lot of people are exactly the way they are on the internet as they are in real life.

Hi! I didn't mean 'visual' persona when I said "honest in intent" - even meeting people doesn't always let us know anything other than - we met them. Isn't everyone nice when we meet them? Similar to a job interview - aren't we always going to try to make the best first impression? I think our opinions here are what matters, and we have to hope they are being honest. I do agree that many aren't trying to make a good impression and just speak their truth, whether someone will like it or not.

I wasn't wanting to be cynical so much as just commenting on what I've experienced and learned from others.

True, some do have opposite gender friends just for talking, but I still wonder if there isn't an attraction or need beyond talking going on. You're reminding me of someone that discussed that with me, saying that he doesn't believe it can stay Platonic - he's probably right.

I have to agree with your thinking on talking with men vs. women, generally. We're not in competition with men on a personal level - they don't want to be like us and vice versa - not always the case with another woman.

Women as complex beings :

heh heh heh. I know that guy.

I always pictured BF sitting in an office as the Financial Manager at a car dealership waiting for the next salesman to come in with a prospective buyer so they could screw him/her out of as much money as they could get away with. (Sorry just joking BF.) During the meantime he is flying around looking for places to land on NT to drop a few droppings. (They don't stink BF.) Light humored and witty most of the time with his comments he is working and playing at the same time. I also respect him for taking the right road instead of the road he could have taken. I think BF is a pretty good fellow as I do Hal, even though Hal may not think I feel this way. I just hate it when he gets on his fairies flying in the sky thing. LOL. I don't think it is necessary and honestly offends me. But that doesn't keep me from thinking he is obviously a pretty good guy who doesn't realize we do have similar feelings about things.

I have discovered who JR or John Russell is....

en.wikipedia

I know CM. She's a catbird

I've known her for longer than any other person on here. There are about 4 of us who use to debate on Ed's Blog and CM is Liberal, Conservative and mixed up. LOL

But we are friends who disagree most of the time.

And Larry Hampton is one of the most laid back people you could ever meet, although I've never met him. That doesn't mean he doesn't get excited, but he is about as harmless as a person can be. Very nice person in my imagination.

In fact, I bet most every one of us are pretty good people on here.

I love reading these comments.

Actually A Mac has been most influential to me on NT, except he hate right wingers and Teabaggers a whole lot. He reminds me of one of my best friends who I told one day I valued our friendship too much for us to ever talk politics and we never have since. I know you don't like this kind of thing JR, but that's what makes the world go round and you already know I like you anyway.

Enoch is like a Valium right after a car wreck. He brings peace and harmony into the scheme of life.

Aeon is sharp and wakes up cranky. LOL But if you want to find something, she is the one to find it for you. We'll nip at each other once in a while, but it's a soft bite and doesn't hurt much.

I always thought JR was Perrie's husband?!!! You mean, he isn't? Ooops...is that Ok to say, Perrie?

Chloe is strange, but in a nice kind of way. She knows I like her and she is pretty level headed and doesn't get all bent out of shape like I do sometimes.

LoL... Ok, now you have to explain what you meant, you know. I learned my biggest life lesson from you. Do you want to know what it is? Ok, I thought so. Here it is: NEVER show your cards. Wow, what a difference it has made!

Dowser is just one nice lady who I wouldn't want to hurt, so I just have to keep my mouth shut tight because I'm afraid I'll hurt her feelings. I know she is very tender hearted and we see things differently quite often. Dowser would do well to keep off the bad articles that sometimes appear on the front page as I would do well to take my own advice.

I knew you would jump in the bucket on that one. LOL

You know I was only joking.

I'm always explaining myself to somebody it seems, so I may as well explain myself to you, but first I want to say I never said anything like "you have to go all the way" and I'm not Bill Clinton. LOL

Now Chloe, everyone is reading this, look, see them.

Six, I wouldn't hurt you for the world. Not on purpose, but I probably have by just being stupid. I do need to keep off the bad articles! Sage advice!

That's funny Six...A cat and a bird, I do Love Cats....and a bird, could be, I do like to be Free...

Don't use that word "Stupid". I think you are probably one of the smartest people on here.

Are you talking about me up there. I know you're not, so don't think I really meant it.

Peace and love as Enoch would say. six

Well, why don't you try flying off that limb? I'm glad you liked it.

LOL!! ... Ok, let me see...who are you. Hmmm...

A conservative jokester that is sort of liberal in many ways.

You want to be free to hug everyone, as long as you don't have to show your cards.

Six, why don't you put one up of yourself, the way you think you are...

Thanks Chloe. That was what I was going to say.

... Have a good night!

(Those emoticons are so silly, but they can be fun!)

Of your three distinctions, I'd have ta say I'm a 'blend' of one and three. I try to consider who is asking to join my circle of friends, particularly when I haven't had contact with them in the past. I don't consider myself to be an indiscriminate joiner or someone looking to be 'popular' as evidenced by the number of faces on their 'friend list'. If I 'click' with someone, I ask for their friendship.

Spyke is right, this forum lacks intonation (for the most part) and body language. This adds probably 1/2 to 2/3rds of non-verbal meaning to any real-life conversation. The other important piece is consistency. Consistency in their choice/s of words, their meaning and intent. In "Time"...these elements develop into a pattern that serves to define who a person 'really' is both online and in 'real life'. But that said...even in 'real-life' as online, I have been mistaken or surprised and this becomes painful because I consider myself a pretty good judge of character. In situations like this, I also feel disappointed in myself for not 'seeing'.

I think in any relationship, whether it be online or real-time...it involves a certain amount of faith and risk. Faith that the person is who they say they are...and risking a certain level of 'vulnerability' in being open and honest. The latter is where the 'hurt' comes in when I am wrong about my assessment of another person. So that begs the question...should I not be so honest and forthcoming, or allow myself to be so open and vulnerable?

For me...thaa doesn't work. It's not who I am. What you see is what you get. For me to do otherwise, creates a barrier and a facade. I don't have a 'game-face' that I present to others, whether at work, at home, or with people I call friends. And I have to admit, sometimes that gets me into trouble, but I choose to continue to 'risk'...risk rejection, being thought a fool or simply being taken advantage of and getting used'n abused. The alternative is not to take risks, by building a wall of anonymity to 'protect' myself from hurt and/or disappointment. But I've discovered that this same 'protective' wall, also becomes a barricade to intimacy (IN TO ME SEE) and friendship.

So I continue to choose to 'risk' disappointment and hurt feeling in exchange for finding 'real' friendship both online and offline, and I have no regrets.

I think in any relationship, whether it be online or real-time...it involves a certain amount of faith and risk. Faith that the person is who they say they are...and risking a certain level of 'vulnerability' in being open and honest.

That really hits the heart-strings for me, TL. That's the "faith and risk" I've learned as well. I listen to and follow my heart...not other's words. I could tell you were 'real' in what you say, I could tell Truth and principle matter to you, and when I first met you long ago on the Vine, I felt as though I already knew you. I still feel that faith, and for me, it was never a risk. I just knew you are a 'good' man. I hope I don't ever let you down as a true friend here.

Six, You sure do know yourself..that was hilarious...

In real life, I have a lot of acquaintances and a few people that I consider to befriends. Those "friends" are the people I trust and would do anything for, and they feel the same way. When on the internet, you can't see the person's facial expressions. they could be telling you how wonderful you are, and at the same time, rolling their eyes. You don't hear the tone of their voice to determine if they are being sarcastic or not. just saying...

LMAO Tiza... it's so true!

You're kind of right, Tiza. I had this discussion with an internet friend once a long time ago. Obviously, the best friend you can be on the internet, is more like a pen pal. Usually, the next step is talking on the phone and hopefully this will lead to a meet. But somewhere between phone friends and meeting a real friendship can develop. It has happened for me.

No, I'm not thinking of you, I was thinking of your advice to stay off the articles where I know people aren't in it for the discussion, just for the rant. Certainly not you!

I developed "trust issues" at an early age and have come a long way in overcoming the issues. therefore, I have only a few "friends" , but many acquaintances. (by choice) I love my friends and acquaintances but I cherish my friends.

Chloe,

I totally disagree that men and women can't have platonic friendships. If you are referring to noticing that a guy is good looking, no biggie. I also have female friends that I think are beautiful. It doesn't mean I want to be with them. We have eyes and can see, but we also have brains, and that is the big difference. I can like a guy for the person he is, and totally disregard his looks. I have male friends that I have known since we were 12 and they are handsome, but I have not "been" with them, nor do I want to be.

As for woman.. I like them for who they are; Kind, giving, not bitchy. They do exist.

If I had no men friends, I wouldn't have anyone to be friends with at work. They are valuable to me, and necessary. Yet, there is no way I'm going to cheat on my husband with ANY of them.

M'Lord,

I have to agree with you 100%. I am the exact same way, and I wouldn't change a thing. I feel that the times that I have been hurt are nothing compared to the richness that all kinds of friendship have brought me and I am a happier person for that.

An excellent way to put it, Tzia.

Same here, Tzia!!

It is not really more difficult "between individuals." The difficulty is the distraction with three or four angles discussed by five or six people in the same sub-thread. It's like four separate discussions around the same table. The format contributes to that.

That's the reason why I prefer some formats over others. I really like the ones that areboxes, with shrinkingboxes under and inside the first comment of each thread, with sub-threads branching-off on their own. Even then, if posters aren't familiar with the format, or if all don't use them the same consistently, it isn't as easy to follow. And, yes, ...there are those times when the system/format is gamed.

That, Larry, is true whether one is a friend or not.

I would agree to a certain point. Some folks (this is true offline as well) are more apt to be more expressive with those whom they consider a friend, and sometimes even listen more closely, or better, to those they consider a friend.

In real life I'm a tiger Six, people cower when I walk by, one of the meanest sommabitch ya ever met!

:~)

aawww....thanks Dear Dowser...you guys are making me blush!!

Here's an interesting perspective (at least from my viewpoint).

There are a number of individuals from NT whom I consider "friends." And among them are some with whom I communicate regularly away from cyberspace. These are friends I have tried or will, at some point, try to meet in person. I have to date met one, have plans to meet with another this fall and again next June.

And trying to meet in person and/or communicating regularly with them "off-line," is the demarcation between "Internet" friend and "Friend."

I have this kind of "fantasy" gathering of NT friends in my head -- I buy two Mega Millions lottery tickets each week and, in the very, very, very, etc. unlikely even that I win, depending on just how many millions I walk away with, I have a plan.

The NT part of the plan is to bring some of the NT guysto my house in the Pocono Mountains (all expenses paid) for a few days and do fishing, some sightseeing (I'll be the guide), good conversation, food and friendship!

The house is small so, of course, I might have to use some of the winnings to buy a bigger house to accommodate the gathering.

The rest of the winnings;

Much to the American Cancer Society, Environmental Education

Much more to family members

And, I have a list of friends who will be called one-by-one to meet with myself, my accountant and attorney at which time they will sign an agreement stipulating that upon accepting the check I will give them, they agree not to divulge from whom/where the gift came ('course, they'll have to tell the tax man).

Yes; my wife is fully aware of this ridiculous fantasy.

But I hope.

As far as fantasies go, that's a great one A. Mac!

:~)

I have similar ideas. I've thought about how neat it would be (yes, LOL, I've also shared this with my wife too) if I could host an outing at a resort on a Minnesota lake, or the north shore...

I've had great visits with online buddies in real life and all have been tremendously rewarding. It is so interesting to gauge someone's personality and conversation as compared to online. some folks definitely have a character role they like to present blogging, while others are about as close to the same on and offline, as to be indistinguishable. What a strange and wonderful dynamic!

Hi Perrie, He and I started out in disagreement. I was saying it was possible when there isn't any physical attraction - I don't mean just opinion of their appearance - and he was saying, as I interpreted, that it might start out that way, but he didn't believe that it stayed that way. I thought his point was that *one or the other* becomes enamored over the personality, thoughts, intelligence or something else - whatever attracted them to be friends, and that changes their relationship, even though both might see it [the relationship] differently. His views caused me to doubt mine.

BF...it's cute!!

BF, Of course! Who wouldn't like an opinionated, talking fish?

Internet friendship rules from Zombieland the movie:

"Cardio"[5]
"Double tap"[6] ("Ziploc bags" in a deleted scene)[5]
"Beware of bathrooms"[5][7]
"Seatbelts"
"Cast iron skillet"
"Travel light"
"Get a kickass partner"
"Bounty paper towels"
"Bowling Ball"
"Don't be a hero"; Columbus later changes the rule to "Be a hero" at the amusement park, after facing his greatest fear (a clown-zombie) to save Wichita and Little Rock.
"Limber up"
"Ziploc bags"
"Avoid strip clubs"
"When in doubt, know your way out"
"The buddy system"
"Check the back seat"[8]
"Enjoy the little things"[9]
"Swiss army knife"
"Clean socks"
"Hygiene"
"Always have backup"

Best advice ever, IMHO.

Isn't ther a song just a swinging is the repeated verse. Loved the song cannot remember the title.

Is this the song you mean?

The only friend I really have is my brother, and he is, well, my brother. I don't really have a real life connection to compare to the internet.

For NT, I believe I am a hybrid of group two and three in your list. I want people to defend what they write. Even if I agree with what you say, there are those times where I will reply, simply in an attempt to get you to defend what you are saying.

Steve,

Now don't take this the wrong way, 'cause I love having you here, but you need to get out more. Even if you don't make deep friendships, people are interesting... at least I think so.

So you like playing devil's advocate. So do I, but most folks don't even realize when I am doing it. It tickles my fancy.

Hey Thee!

I actually think that you take your internet friendships seriously, and wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose or risk losing that connection.

..... I must love hurting myself though cause i still shake the tree, ya know?......

Ya know, some might say that makes you a masochist... but I would say that makes you optimistic! Good for you!

I definitely don't get out as much as I used to. Lol.

most folks don't even realize when I am doing it.

I am continually amazed at how unaware people are of their surroundings and what is happening.