10 Ways to Feed Yourself [In Canada] While Broke and Hungry
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10 Ways to Feed Yourself [In Canada] While Broke and Hungry
By Felix Clay, cracked.com, April 5, 2014
Greetings from Canada! Did you miss me? Of course not; no one knew I was gone. But gone I was. Is. Am. As a perk of my day-to-day job, I was sent all the way to exotic Ottawa, Canada, to attend a rousing conference on marketing strategies in the age of this web we call world wide. In the year 2014! In the winter!
The view outside my window. Photos.com/Photos.com/Getty Images
Not only did I attend an eight-hour conference complete with a free tuna fish sandwich and tepid water, but I got set up at a pretty swanky hotel. How swanky? A can of Coke costs $6 from room service! I know that's Canadian money, but I have tragic news -- Canadian money is worth pretty much what American money is worth, and that means it's still a $6 Coke, only that $6 is made up of a coin with a duck on it and a blue piece of plastic they claim is a $5 bill up here. Adorable! I want to pinch the cheek of each and every Canadian except the Bieber family. Fuck those guys.
In an effort to save my money for more important things, like Canadian strippers and poutine made by actual Frenchmen, I thought I'd cut some corners by shopping for my own meals and eating in my hotel room, which was kind enough to furnish me with a microwave and a coffee maker. Imagine all the things I could feast on.
My hotel was located in that region of Ottawa colorfully known as "nowhere," and the nearest store that sold food of any kind was a dollar store in a strip mall that also featured an outlet store for plus-size ladies' fashion! Could I satisfy my need for sustenance with a Canadian dollar store? Oh man, let's find out. I took pictures!
Click this link to read the whole article and see the photos its worth it for the laugh:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-ways-to-feed-yourself-while-broke-hungry/#ixzz2yBNrZIKk
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I know how he feels - I spent most of my life in Canada.
Funny! I'm sure I'd like the chocolate balls - just plain.
To get the chocolate you have to drink SOMETHING through the straws - how about Bailey's Irish Cream?
Dear Friend Buzz: Hysterical! Thanks for starting off my week with such a funny article.
Where I reside, we have French Canadians who bought an old school bus, and renovated it to be a mobile food vendor. They are called, LePetite Poutine. Pretty good stuff, actually.
They servea Vegan Poutine that does it for me at local Farmers Markets. That, and a bottle of fresh pressed spiced (mulled) apple cider.
I easily relate to Dollar Stores chargingmore than a dollar per item, and a dollar for items you can buy at supermarkets for under a dollar (canned vegetables and beans). The old joke about going to a Dollar Store for a price check was pre-empted by inflation.
Once, on a trip home from Israel on Icelandic Air Lines, I had a stop over in Greenland due to weather. The view in the article from the hotel window reminded me of that. Every morning I got up and looked through the picture window. Staring at me was a moose. Each morningI would go to the breakfast buffet and take some fresh fruit and veggies. At first, I would leave the food on a fence post corner, and leave. Go back to my room. Once the Moose saw I was inside it would eat the fresh produce. By the third day it ate out of my hand. That was the best part of my not so memorable trip to Greenland. (By the way, it wasn't green, it was white with snow and ice).
Peace, Blessings and Seconds on the Vegan Poutine please.
Enoch.
On our way to my cottage we would always stop at the "chip truck" for hot dogs and French fries. They were always delicious.
That would be good!
I was having visions of just skipping the drink and going straight for the straw with a pair of scissors.