Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo,

Santa Ain't White - He's a Space Alien able to bend the Space Time Continnium!

By:  Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo,  •   •  11 years ago  •  2 comments

Santa Ain't White - He's a Space Alien able to bend the Space Time Continnium!

Megyn Kelly, the formerporn queen turned news correspondent of the nations leading news organization,(according to Bill O'Reilly),broke the story that "Santa is a White Man and Jesus is, too", on Fox TV Network Faux News, which shocked and outraged millions of educated viewers, like me. Fox is reputedly the "Fair and Balance" news organization, so it must be true, you argue, but, on this one they might have got it wrong.

I would offer this bit of irrefutable evidencefor your consideration. This "jolly old man" flies around the world in 24 hours delivering "goodies to lots of kids that have been good". Who could do that? Only a space alien with some sort of high tech vehicle, that we, in our ignorance call a "sleigh". It is said to "glow", just like like many UFOs are reported to glow.

Also, Ancient Aliens scholars, which I pride myself to be an elite member of this prestigious club, have observed that Santa is able to slide down chimneys, despite being very "rotund", simply by placing his index finger "next to his nose". Obviously, this is some form of deportee device that tele-ports him through the Space-Time continuum. Don't you watch the Science Channel?

It's time to tell the kids the truth. Santa is not black, Santa is not White - SANTA IS AN ALIEN FROM OUTER SPACE.

Sarah Palin is the "Anti-Christ".

Rand Paul is "just nuts".

Cheney is a "Wall Criminal".

John Boehner "is Drunk!"

Wake Up America and Smell The Elephant Poo before your genitals catches on fires.


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Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo,
Freshman Silent
link   author  Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo,    11 years ago

Wintrope certainly makes sense to me!

Swamijim sez
Freshman Silent
link   Swamijim sez    11 years ago

So you're telling me Santa Claus is actually... Doctor Who?