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Pastor Greg Locke Bashes Dollhouse To Pieces With A Bible Taped To A Baseball Bat

  
Via:  Trout Giggles  •  8 months ago  •  153 comments

By:   Rachel Kiley (God)

Pastor Greg Locke Bashes Dollhouse To Pieces With A Bible Taped To A Baseball Bat
MAGA pastor Greg Locke is getting blasted online for beating a dollhouse to pieces with a Bible and bat during an angry sermon.

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S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


August 24, 2023, 12:39 pm

A MAGA pastor who gained national attention thanks to his political rants during the Trump era is making headlines again after destroying a dollhouse with a Bible taped to a baseball bat in front of his congregation.

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Greg Locke gave a sermon back in June that centered around casting "out the spirit of sexual perversion" and tearing down demonic strongholds, ultimately capitalizing on the so-called "righteous anger" that is so often used by Christian grifters to rile parishioners up.

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"What some of you need to understand is you've been delivered from a demon, but you've not pulled down the stronghold yet. You gotta get rid of the triggers on that iPhone. You gotta get rid of the triggers on that Netflix. You gotta lose her number. You gotta lose his number," he screamed. "The demon comes out when you expel it. The stronghold comes down when you demolish it with the Bible."

Locke then went ahead and smashed a chest-height dollhouse to pieces on the stage, using a bat he said he had duct taped and zip-tied to a baseball bat.

Somehow we almost missed MOUNT JULIET, TN MAGA grifter Greg Locke demolishing a Barbie Dream House with a Bible attached to a baseball bat.
The movie would go on to gross over $1 BILLION dollars pic.twitter.com/2CJwXLKe8J
— The Tennessee Holler (@TheTNHoller) August 17, 2023

The clip initially made the rounds recently with people under the impression that it was related to the recently released Barbie film, which has received genuinely baffling blowback from extremists among both conservatives and Christians—so baffling, in fact, that many of their own don't seem to understand what they're so riled up about.

Even though the sermon took place a month before the film's release, it's an understandable mistake, considering pastors were, in fact, already preaching against its alleged evils before even early screenings of the movie took place. But Locke reportedly never mentioned Barbie in his sermon. He was too busy screeching about demons and demanding people stop repeating the same sins—"sins" seemingly referring to anything related to sex.

A normal person having a meltdown in front of a crowd and bashing a child's dollhouse to smithereens would be reason enough to get them a psychiatric evaluation, but this is fairly typical behavior at evangelical churches.

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Screaming in rage and calling it God delivering a message to all the sinners through you is part of the pastor playbook, and being so distressed at sexual desires that seeing a little skin or possibly even some gays on Netflix gets called a "trigger" is depressingly common as well. In fact, it was only days ago that a TikToker with a Christian fish tattoo got called out for her deranged reaction to there being nudity in Oppenheimer .

At any rate, while Christians may have become desensitized to angry rants and destructive behavior as just a normal part of their Sunday mornings, the rest of the world still recognizes how unhinged it actually is— Barbie- related or not.

pic.twitter.com/Jz0cC9Tzii — Lover of Truth ✊ (@LoverOfTruth79) August 18, 2023

A Bible wrapped around a Baseball bat is a near-perfect metaphor for so much that is wrong with Evangelicalism. https://t.co/RlzfSjZTp4 — Billie (@Billieiswriting) August 18, 2023

But women can't control their emotions. https://t.co/vsDCxVpbzb — Emily Chambers (@Dumily_Chambers) August 17, 2023

Greg said "I've had KENOUGH!" from his Mojo Dojo Casa House Church. https://t.co/tr3yFo61Tg — April Ajoy (@aprilajoyr) August 18, 2023

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Some little girl would have loved that house. A "Christian" pastor might have thought of that. — Marilyn (@MarilynShimmie1) August 17, 2023

Nah. There's nothing peaceful about "Godly men."
They are the worst men I've ever known in my life, and I wouldn't piss on them if they were on fire.
— Karla Claire (@KarlaClaire9) August 17, 2023

Right? This behavior defies traditional Christian thinking/behavior, but now it is the norm, not the exception. — PammyCanFinallySleepAtNight (@PSchmaling) August 18, 2023

When someone mentions American Christianity, this is what I think of now. Culture warring nonsense, white supremacy, prosperity gospel. When I was a kid I thought of things like charity and community (which in retrospect may have been naive!), but the vibe now is very different. https://t.co/6SyUmoHUIF — Jean-Michel Connard (@torriangray) August 17, 2023

Share this article *First Published: August 24, 2023, 12:39 pm god-logo.png


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Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1  seeder  Trout Giggles    8 months ago

These preachers are becoming unhinged. I haven't seen the Barbie movie and I wasn't that interested in it, but when it comes on one of my streaming services, I'm watching it just to see what all the fuss is about

 
 
 
Hallux
PhD Principal
1.1  Hallux  replied to  Trout Giggles @1    8 months ago
what all the fuss is about

Talking to the women I know who have seen it, one and all describe it as a highly needed entertaining and joyous cinematic romp in luscious pink.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.1.1  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  Hallux @1.1    8 months ago

I just read a synopsis of it on Wikipedia. Definitely watching it when comes on Prime or something

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Masters Expert
1.1.2  al Jizzerror  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.1.1    8 months ago
Definitely watching it when comes on Prime or something

I wasn't interested in Barbie until Locke ranted about her demonic shit.

I didn't have a sister so the only Barbies I saw had been stolen by guys (from their sisters).

They were always decapitated and naked.

Since they had no genitals (nor nipples) they weren't interesting.

Here's a photo of Greg Locke's vaginaless squeeze:

512

To make a woman look like Barbie, it takes lots of surgery, lots of plastic and a butt load of photo shopping.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
1.2  Tessylo  replied to  Trout Giggles @1    8 months ago

What would Jesus do?

I don't think it involves anything with a baseball bat and bashing the fuck out of something.

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1.2.1  Vic Eldred  replied to  Tessylo @1.2    8 months ago
What would Jesus do?

As I recall he was prosecuted on bogus charges and put to death.

 
 
 
Ozzwald
Professor Quiet
1.2.2  Ozzwald  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.2.1    8 months ago
As I recall he was prosecuted on bogus charges and put to death.

As I recall he was part of a human sacrifice ritual to appease his father and forgive human sin.

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1.2.3  Vic Eldred  replied to  Ozzwald @1.2.2    8 months ago

Nope. The Jewish people had their charges/reasons.....With the Romans it was insurrection.

Telling people to go in peace is not enough.

 
 
 
Ozzwald
Professor Quiet
1.2.4  Ozzwald  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.2.3    8 months ago
Nope. The Jewish people had their charges/reasons.....With the Romans it was insurrection.

The bible says over and over again that you are WRONG.

Romans 5:6-8
For when we were still without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly. For scarcely for a righteous man will one die; yet perhaps for a good man someone would even dare to die. But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Hebrews 9:26
He then would have had to suffer often since the foundation of the world; but now, once at the end of the ages, He has appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of Himself.

Hebrews 10:10
By that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.

1 Corinthians 5:7
Therefore purge out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, since you truly are unleavened. For indeed Christ, our Passover, was sacrificed for us.

Ephesians 5:2
And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.

John 3:16
For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
1.3  cjcold  replied to  Trout Giggles @1    8 months ago

Due to three years of covid I wouldn't go to a theatre for any reason.

While I like Margot, Barbie just doesn't seem to be my kind of movie.

I'll just go to the library and borrow Wolf of Wall Street or I Tonya instead.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.3.1  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  cjcold @1.3    8 months ago

Both are good movies

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.3.2  devangelical  replied to  cjcold @1.3    8 months ago

oh yeah...

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Guide
1.4  Tacos!  replied to  Trout Giggles @1    8 months ago

I’ve seen it. It’s really good. It doesn’t do any of the scary crap the nut jobs claim it does.

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
1.4.1  cjcold  replied to  Tacos! @1.4    8 months ago

Just read the plot line. Might be a good movie at that.

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
1.5  Hal A. Lujah  replied to  Trout Giggles @1    8 months ago

I broke down and went to see it with my wife, for the same reason - to see what all the fuss was about.  I still don’t get it.  A handful of funny lines spread out in a long but completely nonsensical story.  Will Ferrell has had some great roles and some shitty ones - this was his worst, imo.

Greg Locke is a real piece of work.  Every time his name comes up it’s for a worse reason than the last.  Who is actually listening to this creature?

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
1.5.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @1.5    8 months ago
Who is actually listening to this creature?

I hadn't heard of him until the Wash Post did a piece on him last year.  They reported then that he had a social media following of 4 million and more than 1,000 at Sunday service.

The article gave me the impression that Locke is to Christion Nationalism

 
 
 
Ed-NavDoc
Professor Quiet
1.6  Ed-NavDoc  replied to  Trout Giggles @1    8 months ago

Pastor Crock is a nut case looney who needs to be locked up in a padded cell as he represents a clear and present danger to sane and reasonable people.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.6.1  devangelical  replied to  Ed-NavDoc @1.6    8 months ago

... like most every other religious wacko trumpster.

 
 
 
SteevieGee
Professor Silent
2  SteevieGee    8 months ago

Who here doesn't understand that it's a movie about a doll with no genitals?

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.1  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  SteevieGee @2    8 months ago

Triggered toxic men

 
 
 
MrFrost
Professor Guide
3  MrFrost    8 months ago

Well, we all know how much God loves violence. /s

I know God, follow him on Twitter...<cough> X

Here he is bestowing some pearls wisdom. 

 
 
 
evilone
Professor Guide
4  evilone    8 months ago
A normal person having a meltdown in front of a crowd and bashing a child's dollhouse to smithereens would be reason enough to get them a psychiatric evaluation, but this is fairly typical behavior at evangelical churches.

I have nothing much to say about normal religious people but, none of these Evangelicals are right in the head. They are being led by sociopaths and grifters.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5  Kavika     8 months ago

It wasn't a doll house it was a ''house of ill repute''. /s

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  Kavika @5    8 months ago

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
5.1.1  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1    8 months ago

barbie has to go live in a trailer now...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1.2  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @5.1.1    8 months ago

That's a shame. But she does have that cool Winnebago

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
5.1.3  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1.2    8 months ago

too bad for her that ken is anatomically incomplete...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
5.1.4  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @5.1.3    8 months ago

it's probably an accessory that isn't included and has to be purchased separately...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
5.1.5  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @5.1.4    8 months ago

tighty whiteys with a huge package...

 
 
 
Thomas
Senior Guide
6  Thomas    8 months ago

What is with all the violence? Warming up the shock-troops for armageddon. It is going to occur November , 2024.

  

 
 
 
Gsquared
Professor Principal
7  Gsquared    8 months ago

He seems nice.

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
7.1  cjcold  replied to  Gsquared @7    8 months ago

I imagine he hands out cookies and has little kids sit on his lap.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
7.1.1  Tessylo  replied to  cjcold @7.1    8 months ago

All that sinning he has a problem with - I wonder what he's repressing

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
7.1.2  cjcold  replied to  Tessylo @7.1.1    8 months ago

Methinks he doth protest too loudly.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
7.1.3  devangelical  replied to  Tessylo @7.1.1    8 months ago

1 guess...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
7.1.4  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @7.1.3    8 months ago

sorry, 2 guesses and they're both right...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
7.2  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  Gsquared @7    8 months ago

He'll shake your hand, smile with all his teeth, while he's picking your pocket

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
7.2.1  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @7.2    8 months ago

that's what thumper preachers have to do nowadays if they want lauren blowbert to stop by for some... uh,  fellowship...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
7.2.2  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @7.2.1    8 months ago

yeah, that's it...

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
7.2.3  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  devangelical @7.2.2    8 months ago

What’s it?

 
 
 
Ed-NavDoc
Professor Quiet
7.2.4  Ed-NavDoc  replied to  Trout Giggles @7.2    8 months ago

Show me a evangelical mega pastor who does not. Locke already has a net worth of 5 million. 

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
7.2.5  devangelical  replied to  Ed-NavDoc @7.2.4    8 months ago

sounds like he's skimming geezus' cut...

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
7.3  sandy-2021492  replied to  Gsquared @7    8 months ago

Right?  I vaguely remembered him, but checked him out on Wiki.

On January 23, 2022 during a sermon, Locke claimed that  OCD  and  autism  "could be" a form of  demonic possession , by saying, "Are you telling me my kid's possessed?  No . I'm telling you your kid  could be  demonized and attacked but your doctor calls it autism." This statement was condemned by neurodivergent rights movements and the Autism Faith Network.
 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
7.3.1  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3    8 months ago

O.M.F.G.

So....are you supposed to beat it out of your kid?

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
7.3.2  Hal A. Lujah  replied to  Trout Giggles @7.3.1    8 months ago

It’s okay if you use a soft cover Bible.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
7.3.3  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @7.3.2    8 months ago

How about if I use my catechism book?

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
7.3.4  Hal A. Lujah  replied to  Trout Giggles @7.3.3    8 months ago

You haven’t burned that yet?

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
7.3.5  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @7.3.4    8 months ago

I'm saving it for a special day

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
7.3.6  sandy-2021492  replied to  Trout Giggles @7.3.3    8 months ago
How about if I use my catechism book?

Wait, isn't that Catholic?

Catholicism is idolatry.  Please wait patiently to be cast into the next available fire.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
7.3.7  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.6    8 months ago

LOL!!!!

I'm waiting for the next toilet paper shortage

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Masters Expert
7.3.8  al Jizzerror  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.6    8 months ago
Catholicism is idolatry. 

I knew a guy who was reared as a Catholick.

He was an altar boy.

Sometimes he couldn't sit down.

512

 
 
 
Gsquared
Professor Principal
7.3.9  Gsquared  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3    8 months ago
demonic possession

This explains everything:

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
7.3.10  Kavika   replied to  Gsquared @7.3.9    8 months ago

LMAO, Flip is just great.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
7.3.11  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @7.3.1    8 months ago
So....are you supposed to beat it out of your kid?

while you're yelling scripture...

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
7.3.12  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Kavika @7.3.10    8 months ago

He was always very funny.  In his time we could laugh at lame excuses on why we did what we did.  Now with complete angry sincerity we blame our actions on the other guy.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
7.3.13  devangelical  replied to  al Jizzerror @7.3.8    8 months ago

"I want more than 4 tickets to the friday night fish fry next time, father"

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
7.3.14  Sean Treacy  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.6    8 months ago

[]

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
7.3.15  sandy-2021492  replied to  Sean Treacy @7.3.14    8 months ago

Good grief, Sean, read the context of my comment.  It was a joke, made in response to a joke.  Trout, who used to be Catholic, recognized it as such.  It's poking fun at the Evangelical attitude toward Catholicism.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
7.3.16  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.15    8 months ago

Exactly and as you said, humor is in the eye of the beholder.

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
7.3.17  sandy-2021492  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @7.3.16    8 months ago

I won't make fun of you for not laughing.

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
7.3.18  Sean Treacy  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.15    8 months ago

[]

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
7.3.19  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.17    8 months ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
7.3.20  sandy-2021492  replied to  Sean Treacy @7.3.18    8 months ago

The hate group making fun of the pastor bashing a Barbie dreamhouse with a Bible and saying autistic kids might be possessed by demons?

Yeah, I think it's ok to make fun of that guy.

Or are you ok with pastors literally demonizing autistic children?  Because literally demonizing autistic children is pretty fucking hateful, Sean.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
7.3.21  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.20    8 months ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
7.3.22  Sean Treacy  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.20    8 months ago


 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
7.3.23  Sean Treacy  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.20    8 months ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
7.3.24  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.17    8 months ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
7.3.25  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.17    8 months ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
7.3.26  devangelical  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.20    8 months ago

their parents must have previously sinned and that is their punishment...

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
7.3.27  sandy-2021492  replied to  devangelical @7.3.26    8 months ago

A college classmate's pastor told her that her mother's breast cancer was a punishment for sin.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
7.3.28  devangelical  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.27    8 months ago

I'm convinced that if there is an afterlife, no deity would want to be anywhere near those insufferable people...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
7.3.29  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @7.3.28    8 months ago

makes me nauseous just thinking about a world filled with them, let alone a country...

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
7.3.30  cjcold  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @7.3.4    8 months ago

Pretended to burn my draft card back in the 60s

Just burned an old, expired Pa. drivers license.

Still have my 1H draft card to this day.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
7.3.31  devangelical  replied to  cjcold @7.3.30    8 months ago

I torched mine in the 70's, since they wouldn't be asking for it if you enlisted.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
7.3.32  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @7.3.31    8 months ago

then they ended the draft 3 years later...

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Masters Expert
7.3.33  al Jizzerror  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.27    8 months ago
A college classmate's pastor told her that her mother's breast cancer was a punishment for sin.

                  jrSmiley_55_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
7.3.34  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  sandy-2021492 @7.3.27    8 months ago

 

 
 
 
Hal A. Lujah
Professor Guide
9  Hal A. Lujah    8 months ago

I will admit that there is something appealing about taping a Bible to a baseball bat and smashing stuff with it.  All Bibles should be treated like that.

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
9.1  cjcold  replied to  Hal A. Lujah @9    8 months ago

Baseball bats are too slow and too awkward to carry.

A collapsible steel baton is much faster and creates much more damage.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
9.1.1  devangelical  replied to  cjcold @9.1    8 months ago

... and it fits up your sleeve.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
9.1.2  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @9.1.1    8 months ago

tazers are more fun to use, visually...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
9.1.3  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @9.1.2    8 months ago

watching horizontal tap dancing is fun...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
9.1.4  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @9.1.2    8 months ago

... less chance of causing an elbow or shoulder injury than swinging a bat.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
9.1.5  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @9.1.4    8 months ago

... easier than carrying around a pillowcase a quarter full of oranges.

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
9.1.6  cjcold  replied to  devangelical @9.1.5    8 months ago

A roll of quarters in a tube sock?

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
9.1.7  devangelical  replied to  cjcold @9.1.6    8 months ago

oranges don't leave marks.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
9.1.8  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @9.1.7    8 months ago

... any citrus fruit actually.

 
 
 
Jack_TX
Professor Quiet
10  Jack_TX    8 months ago
but this is fairly typical behavior at evangelical churches

I assure you, it is not. 

If it were, nobody would feel the need to write about this incident.

This particular guy just seems to like cheap theatrics.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
10.1  devangelical  replied to  Jack_TX @10    8 months ago
cheap theatrics

... the foundation of evangelicalism.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
10.1.1  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @10.1    8 months ago

along with waving their hands in the air and bawling their eyes out...

boo hoo hoo, I was a scumbag all last week, forgive me geezus, here's a twenty for the collection plate... see you next sunday...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
10.1.2  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @10.1.1    8 months ago

Don't ever go to a Pentecostal or Assembly of God church. I have a couple of times. I was embarassed for them. All that hallejuahs and screaming AMENs was too much

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
10.1.3  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @10.1.2    8 months ago

I have those wackos in my extended family. my favorite aunt's father was a traveling hellfire and damnation preacher in texas. he drove a new cadillac every year, even during the depression. he would drag my aunt and her 2 sisters into the local bars to sing and dance and pass the hat. he'd put on his big revivals on saturday nights and milk all the cash from the locals that was intended for the local churches the next day. that was the weekend entertainment in bfe texas. his charity was limited to finding the local constable and buying a weeks worth of groceries for the poorest white family in town and afterwards would never pay for anything in town except for the gas to get a few counties away. when he retired in the 70's, he paid cash for his home after selling all the gold coins that had appeared in the collection plate and he had saved. when my aunt married my uncle, is when she started wearing red lipstick and high heels. my grandfather came from a family of holy rollers, snake handlers and poison drinkers in your neck of the woods.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
10.1.4  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @10.1.3    8 months ago

He sounds sound like a real peach

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
10.1.5  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @10.1.4    8 months ago

... typical religious wack job. my aunt totally went anti-religion after she got married. red lipstick, red high heels, dancing, and drinking coca cola and never setting foot in a church service ever again. when I was a little kid, drinking a soda was a rarity. imagine my surprise when the big coca cola truck pulled up in front of her house and wheeled cases of those little bottles of coke into her garage. she was a fabulous cook and made all of our candy and snack foods from scratch. I looked forward to xmas eve at her house every year. she was a lifelong texas racist, but I still loved her.

fun fact - bush jr liked her so much after he met her in denver, he sent a plane for her and my uncle to attend a barbecue at his ranch in crawford texas when he was POTUS. she was very proud of those pictures in her scrapbook. 

 
 
 
bbl-1
Professor Quiet
10.1.6  bbl-1  replied to  devangelical @10.1.5    8 months ago

Holy Crackers!!!!!!!!!!!  Best biography I've read in decades.  I'd love that girl too.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
10.1.7  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @10.1.4    8 months ago

you can't pick your relatives...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
10.1.8  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @10.1.5    8 months ago

Sounds like somebody I would have loved to hang out with

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
10.1.9  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @10.1.8    8 months ago

she was awesome. name your favorite snack food or candy today, and she was making it in her kitchen back in the early 60's. her chocolate bread recipe is one of the prized possessions of my mom and her cranberry nut bread is the only way I can stand eating cranberries.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Masters Expert
10.1.10  al Jizzerror  replied to  devangelical @10.1.9    8 months ago
name your favorite snack food or candy

He probably like "grannie panties."

512

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
10.1.11  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @10.1.4    8 months ago
He sounds sound like a real peach

my cousins called him pope, not grandpa...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
10.1.12  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @10.1.11    8 months ago

I was too young to realize how his attempts to control his extended family with religious edicts was ignored and mocked by them. what's really weird is how half my cousins turned into mackerel snappers by marriage.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
10.1.13  devangelical  replied to  al Jizzerror @10.1.10    8 months ago

for her? wouldn't banana flavored be more appropriate?

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
10.1.14  cjcold  replied to  devangelical @10.1.1    8 months ago

When I was a kid, a preacher shot off a starter pistol during his sermon just to wake everybody up. It did!

I thought it was kind of cool, but he was fired soon after.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
10.1.15  devangelical  replied to  cjcold @10.1.14    8 months ago

we stopped going to church when I was 13 or 14 and the preacher started getting a little too anxious for mom to join the "adult bible study class". f'n church bullshit cramped my weekend style anyway.

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
10.1.16  cjcold  replied to  devangelical @10.1.15    8 months ago

Was always an atheist. just took awhile to realize it.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
10.1.17  devangelical  replied to  cjcold @10.1.16    8 months ago

one of my oldest friends turned maga thumper preacher years ago and it's all about the money.

 
 
 
bbl-1
Professor Quiet
11  bbl-1    8 months ago

Rev. Locke.  Beating on a doll house.  Was the bat aluminum or ash?  Were the bibles printed in Tehran?

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Masters Expert
12  al Jizzerror    8 months ago

Locke is a real Bible thumper.

512

 
 
 
bbl-1
Professor Quiet
12.1  bbl-1  replied to  al Jizzerror @12    8 months ago

Associate Justice Amy Coney Barrett.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
12.2  devangelical  replied to  al Jizzerror @12    8 months ago

gee, why doesn't that picture show her barefoot, pregnant, and standing over a stove...

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Junior Expert
12.3  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  al Jizzerror @12    8 months ago

Leather is so much easier to use and reuse than tape.

 
 
 
al Jizzerror
Masters Expert
12.3.1  al Jizzerror  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @12.3    8 months ago
Leather is so much easier to use and reuse

"uck you inker."

512

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
12.3.2  devangelical  replied to  al Jizzerror @12.3.1    8 months ago

... with a telephone pole.

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
Professor Guide
13  Thrawn 31    8 months ago

Christian leaders are fucking lunatics.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
13.1  devangelical  replied to  Thrawn 31 @13    8 months ago

I'm starting to think that anyone involved with tax free money is wacko...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
13.2  devangelical  replied to  Thrawn 31 @13    8 months ago

the IRS could have knee-capped this problem decades ago...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
13.2.1  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @13.2    8 months ago

... legally.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
13.2.2  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @13.2.1    8 months ago

... with extreme prejudice, financially...

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
13.2.3  cjcold  replied to  devangelical @13.2    8 months ago

I wouldn't mind telling folk the meaning of life for a Gulfstream.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
13.2.4  devangelical  replied to  cjcold @13.2.3    8 months ago

there seems to be a pretty low bar for success...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
14  seeder  Trout Giggles    8 months ago

Wow....this brought out some angry people. I guess mocking churches on NT gets knickers in a twist....that's for the men here who got all butt hurt

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
14.1  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @14    8 months ago

selective forgiveness...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
14.1.1  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @14.1    8 months ago

unique to conservative xtians...

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
14.1.2  devangelical  replied to  devangelical @14.1.1    8 months ago

... fake xtians that is.

 
 

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