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In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible | The Babylon Bee

  
Via:  Trout Giggles  •  4 years ago  •  45 comments

By:   The Babylon Bee

In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible | The Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a bold, powerful statement to oppose Trump, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi solemnly tore up the Bible after Trump was seen holding one up in front of a church.At a press conference, the Speaker of the House held up a Bible and then ripped it in two, declaring that she was against anything Trump was associated with."If Trump is …

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Home > Politics > In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible PoliticsScripture In Bold Anti-Trump Statement, Pelosi Rips Up Bible June 3rd, 2020 article-6301-2.jpg

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In a bold, powerful statement to oppose Trump, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi solemnly tore up the Bible after Trump was seen holding one up in front of a church.

At a press conference, the Speaker of the House held up a Bible and then ripped it in two, declaring that she was against anything Trump was associated with.

"If Trump is for the Bible, then I am against it," she said as she struggled to rip the Bible in half. Finally, aides came to intervene, pre-ripping the spine of the Bible so it would be easier for her to tear. "All the books of the Bible are bad: Genesis, Joseph, the one with the big fish, even Hezekiah. We must stand against Trump's bigotry by ripping up anything he claims to be for."

"Yass, queen! Slay!" shouted her fans at the press conference as she finally managed to rip the Bible up. "You're my president!"

In a genius move, Trump then held up a Koran in front of a mosque, forcing Pelosi to tear up a Koran and alienate the left.

A Babylon Bee subscriber contributed to this report. If you want to get involved with the staff writers at The Babylon Bee, check out our membership options here!


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Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1  seeder  Trout Giggles    4 years ago
"All the books of the Bible are bad: Genesis, Joseph, the one with the big fish, even Hezekiah.

They're not all bad. I personally like doing a little light reading before bedtime with Revelation.

 
 
 
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Freshman Silent
1.1    replied to  Trout Giggles @1    4 years ago

Revelations for bedtime? You must like nightmares. What about Noah's ark? Being stuck on a boat with all those precious animals seems like something women would enjoy. Or how about King David? His story reads almost like an episode of the bachelor.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.1.1  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  @1.1    4 years ago

I get ideas from Revelation. I'm working on my World Domination plan

p.s. It's "Revelation"....there's no "s" on the end of it.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.1.2  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  @1.1    4 years ago

And please stop lumping all women in the same category. We're just as different as men are different from each other

 
 
 
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Freshman Silent
1.1.3    replied to  Trout Giggles @1.1.1    4 years ago

Was defund the police in there somewhere? I haven't read Revelation in a long time.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.1.4  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  @1.1.3    4 years ago

What does your stupid question have to do with this seed?

 
 
 
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Freshman Silent
1.1.5    replied to  Trout Giggles @1.1.4    4 years ago

Well the seed was based on a goofy satirical story so i guess i thought we were being goofy and satirical. Guess not. Geez. Sounds like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.1.6  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  @1.1.5    4 years ago

Last warning about staying on topic

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
1.1.7  Ender  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.1.1    4 years ago
Revelation

I actually have this molded 3D pic that I inherited from my Aunt. It is about 50 yrs old, or more. It looks like Roman centurions but I call it the four horseman pic.

512

It is about 5 and a half foot long.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.1.8  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  Ender @1.1.7    4 years ago

I like that

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
1.1.9  Ender  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.1.8    4 years ago

I always thought it was unique. Not really a pic per say. A bad word choice. It is more like a fiberglass molded form.

When I was a teenager I had this fantasy four horsemen of the apocalypse poster. I thought it was ironic I ended up with it.

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
1.1.10  Split Personality  replied to  Ender @1.1.7    4 years ago

wow

and it's hurricane proof - too heavy to blow away?

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
1.1.11  Ender  replied to  Split Personality @1.1.10    4 years ago

It probably would float if I turned it face down. Holding me on it would be another thing.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
1.1.12  Ender  replied to  Split Personality @1.1.10    4 years ago

I just inherited it though about 10 years ago. My Aunt's house survived the storm.

 
 
 
Gordy327
Professor Expert
1.2  Gordy327  replied to  Trout Giggles @1    4 years ago

Revelations is a hoot. I'll give the bible 1 thing, it's myths are quite the fantasy stories.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
1.3  Ender  replied to  Trout Giggles @1    4 years ago

I tried to read the bible once. After page after page of Lot begot Sot, Sot begot Dot, Dot begot Solomon, I said screw this.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.3.1  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  Ender @1.3    4 years ago

Actually, if you want to read the Bible in its entirety, you don't start at the beginning. There's a way to read it (or so I've been told) that starts with Mathew, I could be wrong.

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
Professor Principal
1.3.2  Just Jim NC TttH  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.3.1    4 years ago

And you may be right since, I believe, the New Testament was the most important and the one to be followed. The Old Testament was more of a historic reference. I, too, could be wrong.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

 
 
 
Gordy327
Professor Expert
1.3.3  Gordy327  replied to  Ender @1.3    4 years ago

I tried to read the Bible once. I couldn't get past "In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth," because my BS meter already peaked at that point.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.3.4  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  Gordy327 @1.3.3    4 years ago

I know some passages but I've never read the whole thing. If I were (and one of these days, I think I will) I would start with Psalms and Proverbs then work my way around from there

 
 
 
Gordy327
Professor Expert
1.3.5  Gordy327  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.3.4    4 years ago

You're a better person than I TG. :)

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
1.3.6  TᵢG  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.3.4    4 years ago

A Song of Ice and Fire is much better.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.3.7  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  TᵢG @1.3.6    4 years ago

I don't disagree but I'm still waiting for the 7th book

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.4  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @1    4 years ago

this seed probably isn't bright enough for the thumpers to fly into it

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
1.4.1  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  devangelical @1.4    4 years ago

I figured one of the not-so-bright would see the photo of Pelosi ripping up the Bible and go ape shit.

 
 
 
The Magic 8 Ball
Masters Quiet
1.4.2  The Magic 8 Ball  replied to  Trout Giggles @1.4.1    4 years ago
I figured one of the not-so-bright would see the photo of Pelosi ripping up the Bible and go ape shit.

instead, it is destined to become a meme   :)

over 7000 people will see it "today" after I am done captioning that image.

obviously not on this site.... LOL

but hey, thanks,      for real :)

 
 
 
Paula Bartholomew
Professor Participates
2  Paula Bartholomew    4 years ago

Gotta love satire.

 
 
 
Pedro
Professor Participates
3  Pedro    4 years ago

I read the bible. I liked War and Peace better.

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
3.1  Ender  replied to  Pedro @3    4 years ago

I think Dante's Inferno gives it a run for its money.

 
 
 
Gordy327
Professor Expert
3.1.1  Gordy327  replied to  Ender @3.1    4 years ago

Dante is a good read, if a little difficult to understand. Dante's Inferno was also quite a good PS3 game. 

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
3.1.2  Ender  replied to  Gordy327 @3.1.1    4 years ago

I thought it was funny. The copy of the book I have starts off with an addendum about how to read it and the different ways it could be interpreted.

I didn't know about the game.

 
 
 
Gordy327
Professor Expert
3.1.3  Gordy327  replied to  Ender @3.1.2    4 years ago

The game was underrated. It plays like God of War. Except as you gain experience,  you can choose how to invest experience points into angelic or demonic powers. You descend through each level of Hell as ypu peogress. Virgil appears as a guide, like in the book. Spoiler: You fight Satan as the final boss.

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
3.1.4  Krishna  replied to  Gordy327 @3.1.1    4 years ago
Dante is a good read, if a little difficult to understand. Dante's Inferno was also quite a good PS3 game. 

Well, you've played the video game, and you've read the book--- but have you see the movie?

(Warning!!! The following video clip may not be suitable for all audiences: Dante's Inferno )

 
 
 
Gordy327
Professor Expert
3.1.5  Gordy327  replied to  Krishna @3.1.4    4 years ago

No, I didn't see that movie. But I did see Dante's Peak. Does that count? jrSmiley_9_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
4  charger 383    4 years ago

I read the Bible same year I had to go to Lutheran confirmation class, I questioned religion before that and finally decided I just did not believe it  

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
4.1  Ender  replied to  charger 383 @4    4 years ago

Lutheran aye. I grew up with the Methodist religion.

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
4.2  Split Personality  replied to  charger 383 @4    4 years ago

I had a similar conversation with noyb  about being an altar boy and thinking wtf are we doing wearing red or black cassocks with white surplices.......

Oh yeah, the tip money from the weddings and funerals......that's why we keep doing this....and the wine.

 
 
 
charger 383
Professor Silent
4.2.1  charger 383  replied to  Split Personality @4.2    4 years ago

Tips, you got tips and wine?  

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4.2.2  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  Split Personality @4.2    4 years ago

My kids never did a wedding or a funeral so they never got tips.

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
4.2.3  Split Personality  replied to  charger 383 @4.2.1    4 years ago

We assumed (lol) that what the white gloves were for.  Gloved finger tips absorb the wine, etc.

Priests never suspected because they were drinking it by the glass every hour jrSmiley_16_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
5  TᵢG    4 years ago

Excellent satire TG. 

"If Trump is for the Bible, then I am against it," she said as she struggled to rip the Bible in half.

jrSmiley_100_smiley_image.jpg

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  TᵢG @5    4 years ago

Thanks!

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
6  Buzz of the Orient    4 years ago

I have no idea if this was fake news or satire or whatever, but if it's a true story I think it was a really stupid thing to do. 

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
6.1  seeder  Trout Giggles  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @6    4 years ago

It's satire. The Babylon Bee specializes in it, however, I don't expect people to know that so I tagged it as satire...and I seeded it in Sinners and Buttheads.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
6.1.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Trout Giggles @6.1    4 years ago

Okay, I didn't see the tag but now I looked again and saw it.

 
 

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