Rittenhouse Verdict Raises Concerns That It’s No Longer Safe To Beat People To Death With A Skateboard / Satire
By: BabylonBee.com
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
U.S.—As Americans deal with the aftermath of the Rittenhouse verdict, many are being forced to come to terms with the fact that it's no longer safe to beat people to death with a skateboard in America.
"I'm devastated. I'm terrified. I don't even recognize my own country anymore," said local concerned citizen Gail Piddlesnoot. "How have we gotten to the point in our nation where people can no longer beat someone with a skateboard, or kick someone in the face, or threaten to kill them without risk of being shot? It's just horrible."
The American Society of Communist Skateboard Murderers (ASCSM) reports that more and more of their members are dropping out, no longer confident that they can go out at night, burn down cities, and bash in people's skulls with skateboards unmolested.
"This sets a dangerous precedent," said Piddlesnoot. "It could be that in a very short time, we will no longer see gangs of marauding skateboard-murdering arsonists roaming our streets at night, and that's a very sad thought."
Experts are recommending that in the near future, for everyone's safety, people who own skateboards just ride them for fun instead of beating people with them.
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The Antifa and BLM thugs will be filing for disability benefits due to the stress of not being able to beat people up.
'boarding some guy with a concealed pistol is gonna really suck.
A CNN reporter described the protests as "fiery, but mostly peaceful."
It's one of our most important rights!
Lol and that sez it all.
How about bike locks?
Or clock 19's?
We need to have background checks before someone can own a skateboard and require every skateboard in the country be registered
ABSOLUTELY! a national registry so the FBI can track them... Every board needs a number permanently affixed to them, and the big fat ones made for those who can't stay on the thin ones need to be banned.. They can grandfather in the ones in existence now and charge an exorbitant price for those that trade hands....
Well darn, now what to do this weekend?
Go to work Thursday and Friday, two more days to pay for the people on the government dole who are angry about Thanksgiving.
They always have something to be angry about. They are perpetual anger machines.
Ain't that the truth?!!
Really? Then what is all that hateful rhetoric you spew? Sounds pretty angry to me. [Deleted]
You disagreed with him and didn't get flagged. Imagine that - a discussion.
Have you ever thought about asking a couple of our "fine" liberal members those same questions? There is much more hate coming from theleft than the right.
Haters gotta hate ..... it's the way the cookie crumbles, especially in here.
Don't let them bring you down. Then they win. Which is completely unacceptable.
Ah...yes I did. My comment about him being in a perpetual snit was deleted and given taunting points
Why should I? I'm asking you all. Have you ever considered asking your right winger buddies about their hate?
We interrupt this hate fest to point out hypocrisy that will be ignored...
lol
One of my best friends is very "liberal." Not that i love Trump but he dislikes Trump passionately and yet somehow we are still good friends. How can this be? It's because we don't need to label our "buddies" right or left winger. They are simply just our buddies. Some lean left and some lean right but that doesn't really matter because they're good friends first and that's what really counts.
That's what separates a lot of us. Some of us don't hate others simple because they hold a different opinion on certain matters. That's simply irrational to me as hard as really good friends are to come by.
Way to much political polarization in this world right now and we are headed for a really bad place if it continues on like this.
No doubt about it.
I find your avatar to be very ironic.
Very
I don't hate people because of their politics. My spouse is conservative and so are all the people we hang out with.
I respond the way I do because when I came to this forum about 4-5 years ago that's what I was met with and it hasn't changed in all that time. I saw insults flying this way and that, got called all kinds of names, and was told that my liberal ass wasn't welcome here.
That may sound like I'm whining, maybe I am. But I did try to get along with people until they messed with me first. So...if we don't like each other it's probably because I gave as good as I got.
Meta over. Back to your regulatory scheduled program
I would like to know one thing...what does it take to get people to stop throwing insults or acting like they're superior to me. Leave the forum? I'm open to it
One of the reasons the country is in so much trouble these days is because , sadly, over the past 5 or 6 years Trump supporters have been somewhat successful in "normalizing" him.
They have done that through heavy repetition of both pro trump booshwa and heavy repetition of things like "TDS". Its sad that this great country has been led into its current degraded state by all of this , but it is where we are at.
Mutual respect.
You've never heard anything like that from me and yet i've been told to f-off more than once in PM's. This feuding started long before NT with some, it began on NV.
I've got a great memory. I once told you on NV if we met over a fire and beer we'd likely get along fine. You scoffed at the concept. That's what i'm talking about. Olive branch extended, olive branch snapped.
That said, are you sincere? Do you really want it to end? Because i can put all that behind me and start working from a position of mutual respect. No reason but pride that it can't happen. We have a lot in common. We're both Vets, both like chilies and fishing, both tend to take no shit from anyone and i suspect you, like me, are not above the occasional over imbibing of adult beverages.
But respect is a two way street ..... it don't work one way.
I can certainly give it a try but you have to learn how to spell chilies first.
Never expect good spelling from an Engineer.
Never
You should take your own advice.
I think both of you are all right
Lets do it then.
If you and i can manage to stop trying to out-snark each other, maybe there is some hope for this place.
I think most people are, we all just get caught up in this petty bullshit much too often.
Agree!!
It was a joke. You spelled it right. Just checking to see if you're awake
I work with engineers. My former supervisor and my current supervisors are sticklers for proper spelling and grammar
There's got to be some room for good natured ribbing, tho
Thanks, charger, I think you're all right, too
Agreed and both agree to not take it personal
My problem is i've never really cared about spelling.
Unless it's something official, then it better be spot on.
Plus i'm very close to retiring, in which case i care even less ...