Sarah Palin To Give Trump Daily Unintelligence Briefings
NEW YORK, NEW YORK — The Donald Trump transition team has another staffing announcement. In response to criticisms that he’s been skipping meetings with intelligence officials most of the week, preferring instead to have Vice-President-Elect Mike Pence attend them, Trump has agreed to receive classified information vital to our country’s national security every day.
The briefings will come from former Vice-Presidential candidate and half-term Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin.
“I’m not really interested in intelligence briefings,” Trump said, “because I’m so smart already, see? But after talking it over with Kellyanne, Steve, and the rest of the other three horsemen of the apocalypse, we felt I could may be benefit from dumbing myself down, believe it or not. So Sarah will be giving me daily unintelligence briefings.”
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“Sarah is undeniably the right person for this role,” Trump explained, “because in all my years on this planet, and there have been many folks. I’m old as fuck. You know that right? You elected a super-rich, super-old guy who really doesn’t give a whole lot of shits about you? You elected a guy who very obviously wants to use the office of the presidency for his own gain first, yeah? Wait. Where was I?”
“Sarah is undeniably the right person for this role,” Trump explained, “because in all my years on this planet, and there have been many folks. I’m old as fuck. You know that right? You elected a super-rich, super-old guy who really doesn’t give a whole lot of shits about you? You elected a guy who very obviously wants to use the office of the presidency for his own gain first, yeah? Wait. Where was I?”
And I had already tapped Michele for Secretary of The Rapture.
,,...But oh I can hear Palin, "Don't you worry your head at all Donny. I got this, I'll be keepin' an eye on them Ruskies from my backyard for ya, dontchya know"!
Donny I shot a moose once, only took 27 shots. I'm could handle Secretary of the Army, part time dontchya know.
LOL, great article.
only took 27 shots
LOL!
But hey, she's improving...
I wonder if the progressive cry-babies would have preferred Sarah Palin as POTUS.