HOUSTON, TX—In a shocking revelation, Donald Trump has vowed to become the first world leader in history to visit the Moon, after becoming inspired by the film Independence Day.
Speaking at his inaugural address Trump promised to “unlock the mysteries of space”, expressing an interest in putting man back on the moon by 2020.
Now he has gone one better by vowing to personally spearhead the next mission, during his term as President. “I will become the first president ever to walk on the moon,” he announced to rapturous applause at NASA HQ. “It will be one small step for Trump, one giant hand-print for Trumpkind,” he continued, adding that once his hands touched the lunar surface, the imprints would “no doubt” be seen from Earth.
The American leader made the announcement during a joint press conference with NASA where he unveiled his remarkable plan, while confirming a 150% reduction to the space agency’s climate change program.
Despite ordinarily requiring years of advanced training, Trump claims he’s already “more than ready” both mentally and physically and will therefore refuse all training, something NASA seems untroubled by. “Just so long as we get him on that rocket, who cares?” one insider told the BSJ. “We’re sure he’ll figure it out.”
Trump freely admits to being a “little rusty” on human spaceflight, but maintains he’s seen every episode of Cosmos, and will insist upon “the experienced Lance Armstrong” coming out of retirement to join him “for one last mission”. “Together Louis and I will make the moon great again.”
The commander-in-chief also revealed his surprise that his idea proved to be so popular with his advisors, family and critics, alike:
“Literally everyone and I mean everyone, thinks this is the best idea I’ve ever had,” he enthused. “Even the people who generally hate me think I should go. Right now, if I could.”
“Steve, Kellyanne, Jarod, Ivanka, they all think it’d be great… I honestly don’t remember Mike being this enthusiastic about anything ever… And Melania literally burst into tears of pure happiness when I told her. She just kept hugging me saying ‘thank you, thank you’ and asking me when I was leaving.”
Although the First Lady’s joy appeared to have been short-lived. “She didn’t seem quite as enthusiastic once I told her she’d be coming too,” he added.
http://www.burrardstreetjournal.com/trump-vows-to-become-first-president-to-land-on-the-moon/
I honestly don’t remember Mike being this enthusiastic about anything ever… And Melania literally burst into tears of pure happiness when I told her. She just kept hugging me saying ‘thank you, thank you’ and asking me when I was leaving.”
He'd be a great choice-- i'm sure he knows more about space travel than the generals-- err-- I mean more than the astronauts!
Trump freely admits to being a “little rusty” on human spaceflight, but maintains he’s seen every episode of Cosmos, and will insist upon “the experienced Lance Armstrong” coming out of retirement to join him “for one last mission”. “Together Louis and I will make the moon great again.”
The term "Space Cadet" was coined for him.
If there's any expense involved in sending him to the Moon, I'm sure many people would be more than happy to contribute!
I would take out a 2nd mortgage on my house!
“unlock the mysteries of space”,
Trump couldn't find the key, let alone unlock anything.
B...b...but every one else think it's a great idea!:
“Literally everyone and I mean everyone, thinks this is the best idea I’ve ever had,” he enthused. “Even the people who generally hate me think I should go. Right now, if I could.”
I think it's the best idea he's ever had too!
I think he's right that there are a lot of Americans who would like to see him go now, and get marooned there. He could become famous throughout eternity, becoming known as "The Man in the Moon". Hope he likes green cheese.
I think it would be the very best thing to ever happen for America in my lifetime!:
Trump claims he’s already “more than ready” both mentally and physically and will therefore refuse all training, something NASA seems untroubled by. “Just so long as we get him on that rocket, who cares?” one insider told the BSJ.
Just so they get him on the rocket, who cares!
Although the First Lady’s joy appeared to have been short-lived. “She didn’t seem quite as enthusiastic once I told her she’d be coming too,” he added.
She'll never escape him. That's what being bought and paid for is all about.