10 Things We At The Babylon Bee Are Thankful For

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  2 weeks ago  •  15 comments

10 Things We At The Babylon Bee Are Thankful For

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



We at The Babylon Bee have a lot to be thankful for this year. The world is falling apart, and we get to sit here making jokes about it. Therefore, we are the most grateful for those who make our job possible.

Here are the top ten blessings from the Lord we've experienced this year:


1. The president, Joe Biden - So. Much. Material.

2. The true president, Donald Trump - His time with us was too short, but he burned brighter and hotter than a thousand suns. We can't wait til he gets reinstated by JFK Jr. so we can keep making great Trump jokes.

3. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez - She's just so stupid. Ugh and she's just so pretty.

4. Joel Osteen - Back when we made Christian jokes, Joel Osteen was our AOC.

5. The downfall of Western Civilization - Yes, our society is crumbling. But it means we have awesome material to work with. You win some, you lose some.

6. The Last Jedi - We milked The Last Jedi jokes to death (this is the last one, we promise). Thanks, Kathleen Kennedy!

7. CNN - When we're too lazy to come up with a good joke, we just make up some ridiculous statement and say CNN said it. Then we cross our fingers and hope they haven't beaten us to the punch.

8. Our fully semi-automatic AR-16 large-clip guns that weigh as much as ten boxes. - Come and take 'em, Beto! We dare ya!

9. Your grandma who still thinks The Babylon Bee is real - Grandmas sharing Babylon Bee articles because they think they're real make up 92% of our traffic.

10. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who came down, became flesh, lived a perfect life in our place, died a brutal death in our stead, rose again triumphant over against all the powers of sin and hell, ascended into heaven to reign with the Father, and will one day come again. - Hey, we're a Christian site. We have to get an altar call in here somewhere. Come to the front of the comment section if you would like to accept Jesus into your heart.


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GregTx
Sophomore Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    2 weeks ago

Go Lions! Bless their hearts..

 
 
 
Split Personality
PhD Principal
1.1  Split Personality  replied to  GregTx @1    2 weeks ago

It was close.....

Nagy is probably still toast.

 
 
 
GregTx
Sophomore Participates
1.1.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Split Personality @1.1    2 weeks ago

Yeah, I think so. Although.... they were saying Fields could be back next game...maybe

 
 
 
Thrawn 31
PhD Guide
1.2  Thrawn 31  replied to  GregTx @1    one week ago

Lol, oh the lions, losing in typical lions fashion by gifting the bears 5 yards in the last 2 mins with a really dumb penalty. 

 
 
 
GregTx
Sophomore Participates
1.2.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Thrawn 31 @1.2    one week ago
...adding that he hoped against hope that a player would at least make a politically symbolic gesture during a touchdown celebration so he could get all worked up about politics infringing on sports and rationalize changing the channel.

Lions Fan Praying Players Start Protesting Police Brutality Or Something So He Can Stop Watching (theonion.com)

 
 
 
XXJefferson51
Senior Guide
2  XXJefferson51    2 weeks ago

A great list.  I love their humor here. Thanks for bringing the Babylon Bee here! jrSmiley_79_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Participates
2.1  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  XXJefferson51 @2    one week ago
A great list.

They say it's satire, but that's just a list that of things many right wing conservatives actually believe, the only 'joke' was being thankful for Joe Biden. That and that 92% of Grandmas share Babylon Bee articles because they think they're real when in reality it's just gullible right wing conservatives between the ages of 25-95 who believe anything they read on right wing websites whether satire or not.

Like I've said before, it's tough to tell the difference between a supposedly serious right wing website and what's supposed to be satire since the ones claiming to be serious keep posting fantasy Qanon conspiracy theories, claiming Covid isn't real, masks don't work, the fantasy 'deepstate' is running the country or claiming there's a war on Thanksgiving because of turkey prices.

 
 
 
Texan1211
Professor Principal
2.1.1  Texan1211  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @2.1    one week ago
They say it's satire, but that's just a list that of things many right wing conservatives actually believe, the only 'joke' was being thankful for Joe Biden

Yeah, "they" say it is satire because.......wait for it...........wait for it...........it IS satire!!!!!! 

That and that 92% ofGrandmas share Babylon Bee articles because they think they're real when in reality it's just gullible right wing conservatives between the ages of 25-95 who believe anything they read on right wing websites whether satire or not.

Most people aren't gullible or fool enough to fall for that crap.

Like I've said before, it's tough to tell the difference between a supposedly serious right wing website and what's supposed to be satire since the ones claiming to be serious keep posting fantasy Qanon conspiracy theories, claiming Covid isn't real, masks don't work, the fantasy 'deepstate' is running the country or claiming there's a war on Thanksgiving because of turkey prices.

I have trouble fathoming how someone who is fairly well-read and current can actually believe that crap.

BTW, the Babylon Bee is a rather well-known SATIRE site. Shouldn't eb difficult to deduce that articles published from them are, indeed, SATIRE.

It isn't fucking rocket science.

 
 
 
XXJefferson51
Senior Guide
2.1.2  XXJefferson51  replied to  Texan1211 @2.1.1    one week ago

Several secular progressive sites are trying to get them labeled as a disinformation site.  The NYTimes wrote something to that effect and Babylon Bee sued them and forced them to retract their slander.  

 
 
 
Jack_TX
Junior Quiet
2.1.3  Jack_TX  replied to  Texan1211 @2.1.1    one week ago
Yeah, "they" say it is satire because.......wait for it...........wait for it...........it IS satire!!!!!! 

Yes.

But angry leftists are far too angry to have a sense of humor, so they don't understand.

 
 
 
GregTx
Sophomore Participates
2.1.4  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Jack_TX @2.1.3    one week ago

 It would appear at least one is......

 
 
 
GregTx
Sophomore Participates
2.1.5  seeder  GregTx  replied to  GregTx @2.1.4    one week ago

512

 
 
 
JBB
Professor Principal
3  JBB    one week ago

original

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
Senior Participates
3.1  Jeremy Retired in NC  replied to  JBB @3    one week ago

You're catching on.  Thanks for the joke.

 
 
 
Ronin2
PhD Quiet
3.2  Ronin2  replied to  JBB @3    one week ago

But Biden still has another 3 years to go. The Darkness is just beginning.

 
 
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