10 Things We At The Babylon Bee Are Thankful For
Category: SatireVia: gregtx • 2 weeks ago • 15 comments
We at The Babylon Bee have a lot to be thankful for this year. The world is falling apart, and we get to sit here making jokes about it. Therefore, we are the most grateful for those who make our job possible.
Here are the top ten blessings from the Lord we've experienced this year:
1. The president, Joe Biden - So. Much. Material.
2. The true president, Donald Trump - His time with us was too short, but he burned brighter and hotter than a thousand suns. We can't wait til he gets reinstated by JFK Jr. so we can keep making great Trump jokes.
3. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez - She's just so stupid. Ugh and she's just so pretty.
4. Joel Osteen - Back when we made Christian jokes, Joel Osteen was our AOC.
5. The downfall of Western Civilization - Yes, our society is crumbling. But it means we have awesome material to work with. You win some, you lose some.
6. The Last Jedi - We milked The Last Jedi jokes to death (this is the last one, we promise). Thanks, Kathleen Kennedy!
7. CNN - When we're too lazy to come up with a good joke, we just make up some ridiculous statement and say CNN said it. Then we cross our fingers and hope they haven't beaten us to the punch.
8. Our fully semi-automatic AR-16 large-clip guns that weigh as much as ten boxes. - Come and take 'em, Beto! We dare ya!
9. Your grandma who still thinks The Babylon Bee is real - Grandmas sharing Babylon Bee articles because they think they're real make up 92% of our traffic.
10. Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who came down, became flesh, lived a perfect life in our place, died a brutal death in our stead, rose again triumphant over against all the powers of sin and hell, ascended into heaven to reign with the Father, and will one day come again. - Hey, we're a Christian site. We have to get an altar call in here somewhere. Come to the front of the comment section if you would like to accept Jesus into your heart.