Problem Solved: Biden Asks Each Illegal Immigrant To Please Bring One Can Of Baby Formula

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  2 months ago  •  33 comments

Problem Solved: Biden Asks Each Illegal Immigrant To Please Bring One Can Of Baby Formula
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Biden today announced his plan to address the baby formula crisis, asking each illegal immigrant to please bring one can of formula to drop off when they cross the border.'If all 300,000 people coming over the Rio this month drop off a can of Similac, we'll have this thing fixed lickety-split,' said Pres ...

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Biden today announced his plan to address the baby formula crisis, asking each illegal immigrant to please bring one can of formula to drop off when they cross the border.

"If all 300,000 people coming over the Rio this month drop off a can of Similac, we'll have this thing fixed lickety-split," said President Biden. "In the meantime, Hunter always carries little bags of formula powder with him. I'm sure we can use that to get by!"

Biden has directed the Border Patrol to set up donation boxes at popular crossing points all across the southern border. The President promises that any immigrant who drops off a can before entry will not be thrown into one of his cages. As an added incentive, those who bring a can of the high-dollar Similac Pro will receive a guarantee to not be shipped to New York or D.C.

While most Democrats praised the plan, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez argued that people complaining about formula shortages was just silly as her grocery store still had plenty of Nesquik. Elizabeth Warren also voiced opposition, stating that Planned Parenthood was well equipped to simply eliminate the demand for baby formula if the Supreme Court would only let them.

At publishing time, Governor DeSantis had announced new legislation entitled 'FORMULA' to guarantee all Floridians a lifetime supply of American-made formula filled with extra testosterone and gluten.


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GregTx
Junior Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    2 months ago

original

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
2  Drinker of the Wry    2 months ago

Don't forget that Joe also said, " With the grace of God and goodwill of the immigrants, as my grandfather used to say, don’t tell me what you value, show me your Similac. I’ll tell you what you value.”

 
 
 
mocowgirl
Professor Quiet
3  mocowgirl    2 months ago

I did look for the satire tag, but I was afraid it wasn't going to be there because today I had received an article from Forbes about the shortage of baby formula.

Biden has a history of firmly inserting foot in mouth.  He reminds me a lot of Dan Quayle and even GW Bush.

Biden seems to be the Democrat party's useful idiot.  What he is good for remains to be seen.  I am hoping it is not starting WWIII.

 

 
 
 
mocowgirl
Professor Quiet
3.1  mocowgirl  replied to  mocowgirl @3    2 months ago
He reminds me a lot of Dan Quayle and even GW Bush.

I remember when there were creative people who could make satire highly entertaining and thought-provoking in a bipartisan manner.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
3.1.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  mocowgirl @3.1    2 months ago

Thanks, I haven't seen this since 2004.  My 93 year old father uses Jib Jab for his greeting cards.  I'm glad, this little, creative company made it.  

 
 
 
mocowgirl
Professor Quiet
3.1.2  mocowgirl  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @3.1.1    2 months ago
Thanks, I haven't seen this since 2004. 

I found it on youtube several years ago and watch it at least once a year because it still makes me laugh.

My 93 year old father uses Jib Jab for his greeting cards.  I'm glad, this little, creative company made it. 

Neat.  

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
3.2  Tessylo  replied to  mocowgirl @3    2 months ago

jrSmiley_80_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
4  Buzz of the Orient    2 months ago
"I am hoping it is not starting WWIII."

That is a concern among others as well.  

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
5  Buzz of the Orient    2 months ago

How did so many babies survive and grow up strong and healthy before the days of baby formula?  Is there no applesauce or mashed potatoes?  Is there no oatmeal or scrambled eggs?  Bah!!!  Humbug!!!

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
5.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @5    2 months ago

I was kinda wondering the same thing. Generational I guess.

 
 
 
mocowgirl
Professor Quiet
5.2  mocowgirl  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @5    2 months ago
How did so many babies survive and grow up strong and healthy before the days of baby formula?

Breast milk.  I breast fed both my daughters.  In California, breast feeding was widely supported.  In Tennessee, where I expected support, I was encouraged to put my newborn on a bottle or hide when I fed her.  Babies don't require anything more solid for several months unless there is a problem with mother's milk.  

In the US, we have some of the most ridiculous attitudes to functions of the human body and motherhood.   Women should have at least 6 months paid leave to stay and home and take care of their babies if society wants healthy and happy children.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
5.2.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  mocowgirl @5.2    2 months ago

Absolutely.  I didn't think I even needed to mention it, so I didn't go there.  It's possible that resistance to breast feeding is because of present day "morality", and/or because of the requirement of new mothers to return soon to their jobs, both of which are mentioned by you, but also is there no attitude about maintaining one's girlish figure?

 
 
 
mocowgirl
Professor Quiet
5.2.2  mocowgirl  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @5.2.1    2 months ago
but also is there no attitude about maintaining one's girlish figure?

I can't speak for others, but breast feeding did fantastic things to help regain my girlish figure.  It takes a lot of calories to produce breast milk so unless a woman increases her calorie count to align with calories burned, weight loss is easy.  Breast feeding also helps the uterus to contract back to normal size.  There are probably many other benefits that I have forgotten.

A week or two after my older daughter was born, I was craving popcorn, chips and probably Dr. Pepper.  So my husband stayed at home with our daughter while I drove to the store to get my goodies.  While I was checking out, the cashier asked me if I was having a slumber party with my friends.  I replied that my husband probably wouldn't mind, but the noise might keep the baby awake.  I did it in a teasing manner so as not to embarrass her and thanked her sincerely for the compliment.  I was 22 years old.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
5.2.3  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @5.2.1    2 months ago
It's possible that resistance to breast feeding is because of present day "morality", and/or because of the requirement of new mothers to return soon to their jobs, both of which are mentioned by you, but also is there no attitude about maintaining one's girlish figure?

My wife breast feed in public with a baby blanket over her shoulder.  I work at the Pentagon and we have, I'm told by my female team mates, appropriate pumping rooms for new mothers returning to work.  

 
 
 
mocowgirl
Professor Quiet
5.2.4  mocowgirl  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @5.2.3    2 months ago
I'm told by my female team mates, appropriate pumping rooms for new mothers returning to work.  

That is nice as long as the women are cool with it.

I still prefer at least 6 months paid leave for mothers to allow their bodies to fully heal from the trauma of pregnancy and birth.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
5.2.5  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  mocowgirl @5.2.4    2 months ago
I still prefer at least 6 months paid leave for mother

I agree although currently, maternity leave is only 3 months.

 
 
 
mocowgirl
Professor Quiet
5.2.6  mocowgirl  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @5.2.5    2 months ago
I agree although currently, maternity leave is only 3 months.

That is better than most employers as far as I know.

Are there any part-time options available to ease back into full-time?

 
 
 
shona1
Junior Participates
5.2.7  shona1  replied to  mocowgirl @5.2.4    2 months ago

Anoon mocow...we get 12 months here and your job is guaranteed for when you return or one of equivalent ranking.

 
 
 
mocowgirl
Professor Quiet
5.2.8  mocowgirl  replied to  shona1 @5.2.7    2 months ago
Anoon mocow...

Good morning.

we get 12 months here and your job is guaranteed for when you return or one of equivalent ranking.

Very civilized.  Maybe, someday our government will support the importance of family life instead of paying lip service to it.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
5.2.9  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  mocowgirl @5.2.6    2 months ago
Are there any part-time options available to ease back into full-time?

I don't know of an Army wide policy.  I work on the Army staff and my office supports part-time in the office and part-time home telework to ease the transition back.  We also have small, breast pumping rooms for new mothers to use.

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Principal
5.3  sandy-2021492  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @5    2 months ago

Many of the formulas were short on are for babies with digestive issues, like milk allergies or lactose intolerance.  Those same babies may not do well on table food.

I breastfed, but had to supplement once I went back to work.  My son tolerated breast milk fine, but had to have lactose-free formula. Weird, I know, but I saw how upset his tummy was on regular formula.  I don't know what I'd have done if I couldn't get him lactose-free formula.

 
 
 
mocowgirl
Professor Quiet
5.3.1  mocowgirl  replied to  sandy-2021492 @5.3    2 months ago
Many of the formulas were short on are for babies with digestive issues, like milk allergies or lactose intolerance.  Those same babies may not do well on table food.

I realize that some women can't breastfeed for various reasons, but I am concerned about the impact that formula is having on the lifelong health of the babies that were never breastfed.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
5.3.2  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  sandy-2021492 @5.3    2 months ago

When did lactose intolerance become a problem?  I never heard about it until I was already older, although I have since become familiar that in certain societies it is rampant, such as in Japan.   It seems to me that such "intolerances" did not arise when I was young, or if they did, they never affected anyone I knew.  I guessl I was lucky that I have never had any allergies. 

 
 
 
shona1
Junior Participates
5.3.3  shona1  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @5.3.2    2 months ago

Arvo Buzz...my cat is actually lactose intolerant..have to buy it special milk...so it's not just in humans...🐱

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Principal
5.3.4  sandy-2021492  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @5.3.2    2 months ago

No clue.  He drinks 2 gallons of whole milk a week now.  But as a baby, he had to have lactose-free.  It was a miserable few weeks figuring that out.

Lactose intolerance in adults is fairly common, and more common among those of Asian descent.

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Principal
5.3.5  sandy-2021492  replied to  mocowgirl @5.3.1    2 months ago

From what I read, the difference is much less than La Leche League would have us believe.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
5.3.6  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  shona1 @5.3.3    2 months ago

Shona1, I was advised by a vet that milk should not be fed to cats, especially after they are kittens. 

No matter how you cut it,  milk does not contain the essential nutrients cats need to grow . Too much milk can even displace their appetites for meat-based diets and cause nutritionally-deficient diseases. Additionally, one of the most common reasons milk isn't recommended for adult cats is that many of them have problems digesting it.
 
 
 
shona1
Junior Participates
5.3.7  shona1  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @5.3.6    2 months ago

Evening..yes they always debate that..but all our cats have been raised on milk for 60 years...average age before they cark it (die)..18 years old...

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
5.3.8  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  shona1 @5.3.7    2 months ago

That's better than my Fidget, who walked on at 17.

 
 
 
mocowgirl
Professor Quiet
5.3.9  mocowgirl  replied to  sandy-2021492 @5.3.5    2 months ago
From what I read, the difference is much less than La Leche League would have us believe.

That is good to know.

Because I was a military wife and scraped by without working until the kids were past weaning age, breastfeeding was easy and economical for me.

I don't women should be guilted because they can't or don't want to breastfeed.  

Knowing that formula is a good option for both the baby and the mother should take away another argument that some people use to guilt mothers into complying with someone's crusade.

 
 
 
arkpdx
PhD Participates
7  arkpdx    2 months ago

The problem is that the illegals are more like to use the cans to smuggle in fentanyl into the country. 

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
8  Vic Eldred    2 months ago

Nice one Greg.

Since this has taken a serious tone, I have one question:

How much of the baby formula that we buy & use is now made someplace outside the US?

 
 
 
Greg Jones
Professor Guide
9  Greg Jones    2 months ago

On a more seerriious note.....

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/katiepavlich/2022/05/12/illegal-immigrants-have-plenty-of-baby-formula-n2607117?utm_campaign=rightrailsticky1

 
 

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