Biden: 'I Don't Know If We're In A Recession, I'm Not A Biologist'

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  3 weeks ago  •  10 comments

Biden: 'I Don't Know If We're In A Recession, I'm Not A Biologist'
WASHINGTON, D.C. — America's GDP has fallen over the last two quarters, stoking fears of a possible recession due to the fact that America is now in a recession. When asked whether the U.S. is now in a recession, Biden answered that he wasn't qualified to answer, as he doesn't have a biology degree.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



WASHINGTON, D.C. — America's GDP has fallen over the last two quarters, stoking fears of a possible recession due to the fact that America is now in a recession. When asked whether the U.S. is now in a recession, Biden answered that he wasn't qualified to answer, as he doesn't have a biology degree.

"I don't know if we're in a recession, I'm not a biologist," said Biden to the bronze bust of Hugo Chavez in his office. "Leave that stuff to the experts, Jack! If you ask me, the economy should lose some weight, anyway. Too fat. We deserve this for being racist anyway. Come on, man!"

The White House quickly clarified Biden's statement, saying the U.S. is not in a terrible recession because the word "recession" has been redefined, as has the word "terrible."

"It should be noted that the word 'recession' is being used by extreme far-alt-right-right extreme extremists," said gay black Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre to reporters. "At best, the word 'recession' is a racist dog whistle. At worst, it's a cruel slur against a historically marginalized economy. We condemn anyone who would use this racist language."

At publishing time, Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson couldn't confirm whether America is in a recession either, as she is also not a biologist.


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GregTx
Junior Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    3 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
1.1  Ender  replied to  GregTx @1    3 weeks ago

The basketball of the sea...

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
1.1.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Ender @1.1    3 weeks ago

I wouldn't try to palm it...

 
 
 
Nerm_L
PhD Principal
2  Nerm_L    3 weeks ago

Biden is reality-fluid.

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Expert
3  Tacos!    3 weeks ago

I wish these people would stop trying to redefine words.

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Principal
3.1  Split Personality  replied to  Tacos! @3    3 weeks ago

Which people? The Satirists at the Babylon Bee?

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Expert
3.1.1  Tacos!  replied to  Split Personality @3.1    3 weeks ago

No

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
4  Tessylo    3 weeks ago

More unfunny satire.  Ho hum

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
4.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Tessylo @4    3 weeks ago

original

 
 
 
magicschoolbusdropout
Freshman Expert
5  magicschoolbusdropout    3 weeks ago

256

Hahahaha !

Brandon really "IS" that STUPID !

 
 

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