Texas Buses Illegal Immigrants To Chicago And Oh No They've All Been Shot

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  4 weeks ago  •  28 comments

Texas Buses Illegal Immigrants To Chicago And Oh No They've All Been Shot
HOUSTON, TX — Governor Abbott has responded to the ongoing border crisis by bussing illegal immigrants to other parts of the country to see how they like it. The only problem is Abbott made the mistake of bussing some of them to Chicago and everyone has now been shot.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



HOUSTON, TX — Governor Abbott has responded to the ongoing border crisis by bussing illegal immigrants to other parts of the country to see how they like it. The only problem is Abbott made the mistake of bussing some of them to Chicago and everyone has now been shot.

"I've made a huge mistake," said Governor Abbott as the bullet-ridden bus returned to Texas moments before the engine gave out for good. "I just wanted other Governors to take the issue more seriously as they too had to share in the socioeconomic strain the border crisis puts on us. But why oh why did we send a bus to Chicago?! Forgive me!"

According to sources, the bus driver was the sole survivor from the less than 10-minute excursion into the city of Chigaco. "Look I've been to Chigaco before and I know you have to come prepared," said the bus driver, Doug McDaniels, wearing a full set of SWAT body armor. "The craziest thing about it was that this trip was actually just a mild gunfire day. Normally I have to call for a rooftop helicopter evac just to escape the city."

Governor Abbott has been heavily criticized by the media for his reckless decision to send the helpless immigrants to an active warzone where they were immediately gunned down. Mayor Lori Lightfoot on the other hand was celebrated for her commitment to making all of Chicago one giant policeless and lawless safe space with gun violence equity for all races.

At publishing time, another bus returned to Texas from Los Angeles with the news that everyone on the bus had contracted Monkeypox and been stabbed by the homeless before ultimately dying from fentanyl exposure.


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GregTx
Junior Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    4 weeks ago

384

 
 
 
squiggy
Sophomore Quiet
1.1  squiggy  replied to  GregTx @1    4 weeks ago

I'm tired of people writing these sick, twisted words. It's 'busing'.

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
1.1.1  seeder  GregTx  replied to  squiggy @1.1    4 weeks ago

jrSmiley_40_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
2  JohnRussell    4 weeks ago

Chicago isnt even in the 25 most dangerous US cities. 

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
PhD Guide
2.1  Jeremy Retired in NC  replied to  JohnRussell @2    4 weeks ago

If you ignore murder statistics.

 
 
 
Gazoo
Sophomore Silent
2.1.1  Gazoo  replied to  Jeremy Retired in NC @2.1    4 weeks ago

If you don’t it’s in the top ten.

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
PhD Principal
2.1.2  Just Jim NC TttH  replied to  Jeremy Retired in NC @2.1    4 weeks ago

Everyone always compares on a "per capita" number. That doesn't give one the whole of the problem and actual quantity of occurrences.

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Expert
2.1.3  Tacos!  replied to  Jeremy Retired in NC @2.1    4 weeks ago
If you ignore murder statistics.

And also if you compare apples to orangutans like comparing small towns of 40 or 50,000 people with a big city of millions.

 
 
 
Greg Jones
Professor Guide
2.2  Greg Jones  replied to  JohnRussell @2    4 weeks ago

Tell that to the Black people who live there

 
 
 
magicschoolbusdropout
Freshman Principal
2.2.1  magicschoolbusdropout  replied to  Greg Jones @2.2    4 weeks ago
Tell that to the Black people who live there

ooooo, using "Race" is only good to use in "Liberal Land" !

256

 
 
 
GregTx
Junior Participates
2.3  seeder  GregTx  replied to  JohnRussell @2    4 weeks ago

Oh, it isnt?.. Why, you're right it's 31st. I'm sure that will ease Abbott's mind more than enough to continue offering rides to Chitown.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
2.5  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  JohnRussell @2    4 weeks ago

The mayor's office ranked protection as the most important service the city will provide:

“As a city, we are doing everything we can to ensure these immigrants and their families can receive shelter, food, and most importantly — protection,” said a spokesperson in a statement from the mayor’s office Wednesday night.
 
 
 
afrayedknot
Freshman Quiet
2.5.1  afrayedknot  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @2.5    4 weeks ago

”As a city, we are doing everything we can to ensure these immigrants and their families can receive shelter, food, and most importantly — protection”

Is this not the responsibility of every municipality, every state, every nation? 

In what world do you live where these basic necessities should be denied, regardless of legal status that has yet to be adjudicated? 

Certainly not America. 

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
2.5.2  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  afrayedknot @2.5.1    4 weeks ago
Is this not the responsibility of every municipality, every state, every nation? 

Responsibility yes, priority no.  I live in Fairfax Va, we have a very low crime rate and very expensive housing.  Providing housing would be the number one priority here.

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Expert
2.6  Tacos!  replied to  JohnRussell @2    4 weeks ago

According to this article in the NY Times , (want to compare sources?) Chicago is #7 for murders. That is particularly significant given that it's a very large city that - in addition to criminals - is populated with affluent people in tall, secure buildings or living in low-crime suburban areas, and in theory should have a large, effective police force.

It's easy to find random small towns (like those appearing in the list that you offer) that can be said to have "violent crime" - a vague term.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
2.7  Tessylo  replied to  JohnRussell @2    4 weeks ago

Just more unfunny satire

Ho hum

 
 
 
magicschoolbusdropout
Freshman Principal
3  magicschoolbusdropout    4 weeks ago

Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot’s office called the practice of busing migrants “racist, descriminatory and Cruel” !

What Isn't "Racist" in a Liberals Mind ?

Chicago's Best:

256

 
 
 
afrayedknot
Freshman Quiet
3.1  afrayedknot  replied to  magicschoolbusdropout @3    4 weeks ago

“What Isn't "Racist" in a Liberals Mind ?”

What anecdotal and racist example cannot be excused, used, or abused in a conservative’s mind? 

 
 
 
magicschoolbusdropout
Freshman Principal
3.1.1  magicschoolbusdropout  replied to  afrayedknot @3.1    4 weeks ago
What anecdotal and racist example cannot be excused in a conservative’s mind? 

The Question was too hard to answer ?

 
 
 
afrayedknot
Freshman Quiet
3.1.2  afrayedknot  replied to  magicschoolbusdropout @3.1.1    4 weeks ago

Right back at you. (3.1 as reference)

 
 
 
Greg Jones
Professor Guide
3.1.3  Greg Jones  replied to  afrayedknot @3.1    4 weeks ago

You can't handle the truth?

 
 
 
magicschoolbusdropout
Freshman Principal
3.1.4  magicschoolbusdropout  replied to  afrayedknot @3.1.2    4 weeks ago
Right back at you.

Not how it works, no matter how hard you wish it to be that way. LOL !

Still Confused on what came first ? ........ sheeeeesh.

 
 
 
Tacos!
Professor Expert
3.2  Tacos!  replied to  magicschoolbusdropout @3    4 weeks ago
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot’s office called the practice of busing migrants  “racist,   descriminatory and Cruel”  !

Wow. I mean, is there a big population of illegal white immigrants from say, France or Germany, that aren't being bused?

That woman is crazy.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
3.2.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Tacos! @3.2    4 weeks ago
That woman is crazy.

Well, some Black people have issues with Brown people, although by definition, they can't be racist.

 
 
 
afrayedknot
Freshman Quiet
3.2.2  afrayedknot  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @3.2.1    4 weeks ago

“…although by definition…”

Whose definition? A cite might be enlightening here.

 
 
 
Greg Jones
Professor Guide
4  Greg Jones    4 weeks ago

Big city like Chicago should able to handle a few migrants.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Freshman Principal
5  Drinker of the Wry    4 weeks ago
Big city like Chicago

Carl knew Chicago:

Hog Butcher for the World,
Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat,
Player with Railroads and the Nation's Freight Handler;
Stormy, husky, brawling,
City of the Big Shoulders:

They tell me you are wicked and I believe them, for I have seen your painted women under the gas lamps luring the farm boys.
And they tell me you are crooked and I answer: Yes, it is true I have seen the gunman kill and go free to kill again.
And they tell me you are brutal and my reply is: On the faces of women and children I have seen the marks of wanton hunger.
And having answered so I turn once more to those who sneer at this my city, and I give them back the sneer and say to them:
Come and show me another city with lifted head singing so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning.
Flinging magnetic curses amid the toil of piling job on job, here is a tall bold slugger set vivid against the little soft cities;
Fierce as a dog with tongue lapping for action, cunning as a savage pitted against the wilderness,
Bareheaded,
Shoveling,
Wrecking,

Planning,
Building, breaking, rebuilding,
Under the smoke, dust all over his mouth, laughing with white teeth,
Under the terrible burden of destiny laughing as a young man laughs,
Laughing even as an ignorant fighter laughs who has never lost a battle,
Bragging and laughing that under his wrist is the pulse, and under his ribs the heart of the people,
Laughing!
Laughing the stormy, husky, brawling laughter of Youth, half-naked, sweating, proud to be Hog Butcher, Tool Maker, Stacker of Wheat, Player with Railroads and Freight Handler to the Nation.

Bragging and laughing indeed.

 
 

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