10 Ways To Cope When An Election Doesn't Go Your Way

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  2 weeks ago  •  12 comments

10 Ways To Cope When An Election Doesn't Go Your Way
Wherever your political loyalties lie, you were probably disappointed in the result of the most recent election. After all, you weren't crowned king and placed in a position to impose your own personal desires on the whole of mankind. Bummer!

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T



Wherever your political loyalties lie, you were probably disappointed in the result of the most recent election. After all, you weren't crowned king and placed in a position to impose your own personal desires on the whole of mankind. Bummer!

Here are some tips to cope with a disappointing election:

  1. If your name is Beto O'Rourke, stop running: Read the room, guy.
  2. Ask your therapist to rock you gently to sleep while you suck your thumb: Like a boss.
  3. Burn down an entire city block: Election rage falls under the first amendment. You can't be arrested!
  4. Eat 5 whole cheesecakes: Food makes the pain go away.
  5. Dance around an altar and cut yourself so that Baal will hear your cries: Seems about as effective as ranting about the election on TikTok.
  6. Watch the Notebook: WHAT DO YOU WANT? You want Ryan Gosling. Just admit it.
  7. Hold up a fake severed head of your political opponent and then take a picture of it: This won't backfire at all.
  8. Claim you won anyways: Boom! Checkmate.
  9. Storm something: Like a Capitol.
  10. Move to Canada, but not really: Threatening to move will make people feel your pain.

Tags

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GregTx
Junior Participates
1  seeder  GregTx    2 weeks ago

jrSmiley_43_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
1.1  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  GregTx @1    2 weeks ago

LOL.  We both posted articles on coping with elections - but mine is serious.  

 
 
 
squiggy
Junior Quiet
1.1.1  squiggy  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.1    2 weeks ago

This one is more practical since I don’t have any Ben Wa balls.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Principal
1.1.2  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  squiggy @1.1.1    2 weeks ago

Never heard of them and had to do a search - I don't get why you think Ben Wa balls have anything whatsoever with the article I had posted, but I guess you know more about them than I do. 

 
 
 
SteevieGee
Masters Silent
1.2  SteevieGee  replied to  GregTx @1    2 weeks ago

11.  Hunt down and hang the Vice President.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
1.2.1  Tessylo  replied to  SteevieGee @1.2    2 weeks ago

Plan well ahead of time to state that you won even though you know you lost by a landslide

 
 
 
Ronin2
Professor Quiet
2  Ronin2    2 weeks ago
3. Burn down an entire city block: Election rage falls under the first amendment. You can't be arrested.

Only if you are a leftist. If you are on the right the Democrat FBI and DOJ will hunt your ass down no matter how long it takes ; and how many resources they need to divert. Leftists will be released within 12 hours of capture with a lollipop and an apology (sorry they ran out of crayons and coloring books during the Summer of Love mostly peaceful protests.)

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
2.1  Vic Eldred  replied to  Ronin2 @2    2 weeks ago
Only if you are a leftist.

We can still recall the DC riots when Trump was elected.

 
 
 
SteevieGee
Masters Silent
2.1.1  SteevieGee  replied to  Vic Eldred @2.1    2 weeks ago

I still recall the DC riot when Trump was un-elected.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
4  Tessylo    2 weeks ago

On another 'article' on NT the consensus was that 75% of the US wasn't satisfied with the way things were headed and I believe all the blame was placed, as usual, on President Biden and Democrats.

I think the blame lays, and that's what that 75% believe, lays on those who support these extreme whack job right wing candidates and who still support trumps big lie and failed coup and support and enable their hate and lies and mis and disinformation and ignorance.

I think some of that 75%, a lot of them may feel differently now that a lot of them have lost, those right wing candidates whack jobs that is

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
5  Ender    2 weeks ago
You want Ryan Gosling. Just admit it.

Uh, no.

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Principal
5.1  sandy-2021492  replied to  Ender @5    2 weeks ago

Speak for yourself.

 
 

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