Trump campaign desperately hoping Democrats replace Biden with a different frail 81-year-old
Category: Satire
Via: hallux • 2 months ago • 27 commentsBy: IAN MACINTYRE - The Beaverton
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WASHINGTON DC – With Joe Biden announcing his plans to drop out of the US presidential race, Donald Trump ’s campaign has publicly asked the Democrats to nominate a similarly ineffectual octogenarian who will fit seamlessly into the GOP’s carefully crafted campaign messaging.
“If you Democrats could do us one small favor, we’d really love it if you could replace Biden with the exact same kind of weak-seeming elderly candidate, ideally someone even older than our own 78-year-old dementia-ridden Donald Trump ,” explained Trump 2024 campaign manager Chris LaCivita to CNN.
“The truth is we’ve gone all in on the ‘strongman vs weak old guy’ messaging, which immediately falls apart the second you put Trump next to literally any other human candidate. So another super old geezer would be really helpful,” LaCivita added, sweating visibly.
Trump campaign insiders have reportedly been too busy high-fiving each other for the past month to think of any workable campaign strategies against an opponent who isn’t a fragile and soft-spoken senior citizen with a lifelong stutter. Alternate Trump campaign slogans currently include “Trump 2024: This Time With Extra Racism”, “Trump 2024: Way Less Scary Than The Project 2025 Creeps Controlling Him”, and “Trump 2024: How Long Until I Call Kamala The N-Word?”
Following Biden’s announcement, former- president Trump took to Truth Social:
At press time, Democratic leaders have reported that they are in talks with former president Jimmy Carter to take Biden’s place at the top of their ticket.
One snuffed, one to go. Nuff said.
Trump campaign and for the most part all republicans opposed Biden because they labeled him as a mentally deteriorating frail and old man, while at the same time supporting their own candidate who has more mental gaffes, only 3 years younger and is known to forego any kind of physical exertion.
If the democrats run anyone other than another 81 year old man, their entire campaign strategy will have to be rebuilt from the ground up. Though I am sure that Putin and Xi are working on it as we speak.
The want to make the Democrats to pay for their campaign because, according to Trump, they were "forced" to spend money campaigning against Biden and now he's out of the race.
The Dems should run a commercial...
Announcer: Trump says Democrats should reimburse him for all the money he spent campaigning against Joe Biden.
Harris: Hey Donny, here's $2 and a $5 Starbucks gift card.
Trump, if elected, would be the oldest person ever elected to the office of the presidency. He would beat Biden's 2020 record by 5 months.
If the Democrats want to win, they need to get rid of Kamala and start fresh at the convention. And they need a true centrist, the electorate doesn't want radical progressivism.
How nice that your comment seeks to give the Ds good advice on how to beat Trump.
Says the guy supporting radical alt+right populism.
Yup, Republicans are going to miss Biden. Biden was like a self-basting turkey; easy to roast. But, at least, Republicans still have a self-tossing salad.
Go with the word salad thing, Nerm. That is some hard hitting material.
Thanks for the permission. Maybe I'll do just that.
Well, it ain't as edgy as hiring a British spy to pay Russian prostitutes to say they peed on Trump.
Both are feeble tactics.
Oh, c'mon, man. (Nod to the fallen.)
Let's hear about Trump truffles. Or maybe Donnie Donut Holes -- the breakfast of champions.
That only comes with a single stale crouton.
Would that be Cretan croutons?
It is not like it is important for a president to be able to communicate. Hopefully she can explain AI and the passage of time during a debate with Donald.
Her explanation of AI was accurate. The fact that some do not understand the concepts well enough to see this does not make her description a word salad.
She has produced word salads, I agree. But her AI description was absolutely NOT a word salad.
Well, Harris has got the hand waving down pat. The part where "AI, just two letters, means artificial intelligence" is a classic. Was she speaking to CNN reporters?
You have a problem with her correctly stating upfront what AI stands for? The criticism is not only petty, but wrong. Good communicators ensure their terms are understood before they use them.
Her focus on machine learning is spot on as this is the AI breakthrough that has taken AI from the labs of Computer Science researchers into practical application.
She accurately notes that machine learning is based on data (as opposed to sophisticated algorithms as was done since the 1950s) and that the corpus of data (the large collection of data that the machine learns from) will determine the nature of the resultant automaton.
For a high level synopsis of AI, this is spot on. And there is nothing complicated about the presentation. It was logical, sound and clear as a bell.
Those who think this was a word salad need to do some research and learn the basics of modern AI (and thus machine learning).
That explanation isn't very satisfying without the hand waving. Harris is better at making AI fly. flap, flap, flap ...
So you have given up trying to make a serious comment?
AI is kind of a 'fancy thing'. Ai is two letters that means artificial intelligence.
What more needs to be said?
"Ukraine is a country in Europe. Russia is a bigger country. Russia is a powerful country. Russia decided to invade the smaller country called Ukraine so basically that's wrong. "
Can't argue with a big brain capable of that type of deep analysis that's guaranteed to do well in regular track 4th grade social studies.
Could also mean "asinine ignorance".
Or "alien invasion".
(Did I really say that? Needs some hand waving.)