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Trump campaign desperately hoping Democrats replace Biden with a different frail 81-year-old

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  hallux  •  2 months ago  •  27 comments

By:   IAN MACINTYRE - The Beaverton

Trump campaign desperately hoping Democrats replace Biden with a different frail 81-year-old

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


WASHINGTON DC – With   Joe Biden   announcing his plans to drop out of the US presidential race, Donald   Trump ’s campaign has publicly asked the Democrats to nominate a similarly ineffectual octogenarian who will fit seamlessly into the GOP’s carefully crafted campaign messaging.

“If you Democrats could do us one small favor, we’d really love   it   if you could replace   Biden   with the exact same kind of weak-seeming elderly candidate, ideally someone even older than our own 78-year-old dementia-ridden   Donald Trump ,” explained Trump 2024 campaign manager Chris LaCivita to CNN.

“The truth is we’ve gone all in on the ‘strongman vs weak old guy’ messaging, which immediately falls apart the second you put Trump next to literally any other human candidate. So another super old geezer would be really helpful,” LaCivita added, sweating visibly.


“Oh, and if that eighty-plus year old could have COVID  and also be named ‘Joe’, that’d save us from having to reprint all these bumper stickers. Thanks!”


Trump campaign insiders have reportedly been too busy high-fiving each other for the past month to think of any workable campaign strategies against an opponent who isn’t a fragile and soft-spoken senior citizen with a lifelong stutter. Alternate Trump campaign slogans currently include “Trump 2024: This Time With Extra Racism”, “Trump 2024: Way Less Scary Than The Project 2025 Creeps Controlling Him”, and “Trump 2024: How Long Until I Call Kamala The N-Word?”

Following Biden’s announcement, former- president   Trump took to Truth Social:


“It is COMPLETELY unfair that the crooked Democrats would change candidates from one that is uniquely suited to distract from my advancing age and psychotic ramblings!!! The only FAIR thing is for them to REPLACE Biden with a different MUMMY like Bernie Sanders, or the exhumed corpse of Dianne Feinstein, or maybe the Madame Tussauds wax statue of Joe Biden???”


At press time, Democratic leaders have reported that they are in talks with former president Jimmy Carter to take Biden’s place at the top of their ticket.


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Hallux
Professor Principal
1  seeder  Hallux    2 months ago

One snuffed, one to go. Nuff said.

 
 
 
Ozzwald
Professor Quiet
2  Ozzwald    2 months ago
Trump Campaign Desperately Hoping Democrats Replace Biden With A Different Frail 81-Year-Old

Trump campaign and for the most part all republicans opposed Biden because they labeled him as a mentally deteriorating frail and old man, while at the same time supporting their own candidate who has more mental gaffes, only 3 years younger and is known to forego any kind of physical exertion.

If the democrats run anyone other than another 81 year old man, their entire campaign strategy will have to be rebuilt from the ground up.  Though I am sure that Putin and Xi are working on it as we speak.

 
 
 
Gsquared
Professor Principal
2.1  Gsquared  replied to  Ozzwald @2    2 months ago

The want to make the Democrats to pay for their campaign because, according to Trump, they were "forced" to spend money campaigning against Biden and now he's out of the race.

 
 
 
evilone
Professor Guide
2.1.1  evilone  replied to  Gsquared @2.1    2 months ago

The Dems should run a commercial...

Announcer: Trump says Democrats should reimburse him for all the money he spent campaigning against Joe Biden.

Harris: Hey Donny, here's $2 and a $5 Starbucks gift card.

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
3  TᵢG    2 months ago

Trump, if elected, would be the oldest person ever elected to the office of the presidency.   He would beat Biden's 2020 record by 5 months.

 
 
 
Greg Jones
Professor Participates
4  Greg Jones    2 months ago

If the Democrats want to win, they need to get rid of Kamala and start fresh at the convention. And they need a true centrist, the electorate doesn't want radical progressivism.

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
4.1  TᵢG  replied to  Greg Jones @4    2 months ago
If the Democrats want to win, they need to get rid of Kamala and start fresh at the convention.

How nice that your comment seeks to give the Ds good advice on how to beat Trump.    800

 
 
 
evilone
Professor Guide
4.1.1  evilone  replied to  TᵢG @4.1    2 months ago
...the electorate doesn't want radical progressivism.

Says the guy supporting radical alt+right populism.

 
 
 
Nerm_L
Professor Expert
5  Nerm_L    2 months ago

Yup, Republicans are going to miss Biden.  Biden was like a self-basting turkey; easy to roast.  But, at least, Republicans still have a self-tossing salad.

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
Professor Principal
5.1  Just Jim NC TttH  replied to  Nerm_L @5    2 months ago

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TᵢG
Professor Principal
5.2  TᵢG  replied to  Nerm_L @5    2 months ago

Go with the word salad thing, Nerm.   That is some hard hitting material.

 
 
 
Nerm_L
Professor Expert
5.2.1  Nerm_L  replied to  TᵢG @5.2    2 months ago
Go with the word salad thing, Nerm.   

Thanks for the permission.  Maybe I'll do just that.

That is some hard hitting material.

Well, it ain't as edgy as hiring a British spy to pay Russian prostitutes to say they peed on Trump.  

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
5.2.2  TᵢG  replied to  Nerm_L @5.2.1    2 months ago
Well, it ain't as edgy as hiring a British spy to pay Russian prostitutes to say they peed on Trump.  

Both are feeble tactics.

 
 
 
Nerm_L
Professor Expert
5.2.3  Nerm_L  replied to  TᵢG @5.2.2    2 months ago
Both are feeble tactics.

Oh, c'mon, man.  (Nod to the fallen.)

Let's hear about Trump truffles.  Or maybe Donnie Donut Holes -- the breakfast of champions.

 
 
 
Hallux
Professor Principal
5.3  seeder  Hallux  replied to  Nerm_L @5    2 months ago
But, at least, Republicans still have a self-tossing salad.

That only comes with a single stale crouton.

 
 
 
Nerm_L
Professor Expert
5.3.1  Nerm_L  replied to  Hallux @5.3    2 months ago
That only comes with a single stale crouton.

Would that be Cretan croutons?  

 
 
 
Right Down the Center
Senior Guide
5.4  Right Down the Center  replied to  Nerm_L @5    2 months ago
Republicans still have a self-tossing salad.

It is not like it is important for a president to be able to communicate.  Hopefully she can explain AI and the passage of time during a debate with Donald.

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
Professor Principal
5.4.1  Just Jim NC TttH  replied to  Right Down the Center @5.4    2 months ago

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
5.4.2  TᵢG  replied to  Right Down the Center @5.4    2 months ago
Hopefully she can explain AI and the passage of time during a debate with Donald.

Her explanation of AI was accurate.   The fact that some do not understand the concepts well enough to see this does not make her description a word salad.

She has produced word salads, I agree.  But her AI description was absolutely NOT a word salad.   

 
 
 
Nerm_L
Professor Expert
5.4.3  Nerm_L  replied to  TᵢG @5.4.2    2 months ago
Her explanation of AI was accurate.   The fact that some do not understand the concepts well enough to see this does not make her description a word salad.

Well, Harris has got the hand waving down pat.  The part where "AI, just two letters, means artificial intelligence" is a classic.  Was she speaking to CNN reporters?

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
5.4.4  TᵢG  replied to  Nerm_L @5.4.3    2 months ago
The part where "AI, just two letters, means artificial intelligence" is a classic. 

You have a problem with her correctly stating upfront what AI stands for?    The criticism is not only petty, but wrong.   Good communicators ensure their terms are understood before they use them. 

Her focus on machine learning is spot on as this is the AI breakthrough that has taken AI from the labs of Computer Science researchers into practical application.  

She accurately notes that machine learning is based on data (as opposed to sophisticated algorithms as was done since the 1950s) and that the corpus of data (the large collection of data that the machine learns from) will determine the nature of the resultant automaton.

For a high level synopsis of AI, this is spot on.   And there is nothing complicated about the presentation.   It was logical, sound and clear as a bell.

Those who think this was a word salad need to do some research and learn the basics of modern AI (and thus machine learning).

 
 
 
Nerm_L
Professor Expert
5.4.5  Nerm_L  replied to  TᵢG @5.4.4    2 months ago
Her focus on machine learning is spot on as this is the AI breakthrough that has taken AI from the labs of Computer Science researches into practical application.   She accurately notes that machine learning is based on data (as opposed to sophisticated algorithms as was done since the 1950s) and that the corpus of data (the large collection of data that the machine learns from) will determine the nature of the resultant automaton.

That explanation isn't very satisfying without the hand waving.  Harris is better at making AI fly.  flap, flap, flap ...

 
 
 
TᵢG
Professor Principal
5.4.6  TᵢG  replied to  Nerm_L @5.4.5    2 months ago

So you have given up trying to make a serious comment?

 
 
 
Nerm_L
Professor Expert
5.4.7  Nerm_L  replied to  TᵢG @5.4.6    2 months ago
So you have given up trying to make a serious comment?

AI is kind of a 'fancy thing'.  Ai is two letters that means artificial intelligence. 

What more needs to be said?

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
5.4.8  Sean Treacy  replied to  Nerm_L @5.4.3    2 months ago

"Ukraine is a country in Europe. Russia is a  bigger country. Russia is a powerful country. Russia decided to invade the smaller country called Ukraine so basically that's wrong. "

Can't argue with a big brain capable of that type of deep analysis that's guaranteed to do well in regular track 4th grade social studies.  

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
Professor Principal
5.4.9  Just Jim NC TttH  replied to  Nerm_L @5.4.7    2 months ago

Could also mean "asinine ignorance".

 
 
 
Nerm_L
Professor Expert
5.4.10  Nerm_L  replied to  Just Jim NC TttH @5.4.9    2 months ago
Could also mean "asinine ignorance".

Or "alien invasion". 

(Did I really say that?  Needs some hand waving.)

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