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Rashida Tlaib Uninjured After Her Pager Mysteriously Explodes | Babylon Bee

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  vic-eldred  •  one month ago  •  46 comments

By:   The Babylon Bee

Rashida Tlaib Uninjured After Her Pager Mysteriously Explodes | Babylon Bee
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Capitol Police responded to an urgent call amid reports of a loud disturbance in the congressional offices today. Michigan Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib was later reportedly uninjured after her pager mysteriously exploded.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


WASHINGTON, D.C. — Capitol Police responded to an urgent call amid reports of a loud disturbance in the congressional offices today. Michigan Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib was later reportedly uninjured after her pager mysteriously exploded.

The incident occurred earlier Tuesday in Tlaib's Capitol Hill office, where her pager had been sitting on a desk before spontaneously detonating, causing a significant scare but leaving no reported injuries.

"It just blew up right out of nowhere!" one of Tlaib's staffers said following the explosion. "We were just going about our business, checking over the congresswoman's itinerary of Death-To-Israel protests, when there was a huge blast in the next room. We went in there, papers were flying everywhere, and there was smoke… thank goodness she had put the pager on the desk. Such a crazy, unexplained incident, right?"

Tlaib's staff was questioned on the origin of the pager but provided little clarification. "She said it was a gift from some dear friends," one staffer explained. "Honestly, we thought it was a little weird for a U.S. congresswoman to be carrying a pager in 2024, but didn't really think too much of it. Now it blew up in our office. I guess we're seeing why people stopped carrying pagers now, right? I mean, those things are obviously dangerous!"

At publishing time, police were called to Dearborn, Michigan after reports of several thousand pager explosions in the area.


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Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1  seeder  Vic Eldred    one month ago

In a word: PRICELESS!

Rashida Tlaib Uninjured After Her Pager Mysteriously Explodes U.S. · Sep 17, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

 
 
 
evilone
Professor Guide
1.1  evilone  replied to  Vic Eldred @1    one month ago

Oh look... more violent political rhetoric dressed up in a joke. Soooo not funny.

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1.1.1  seeder  Vic Eldred  replied to  evilone @1.1    one month ago

Nothing gets the left going like the Babylon Bee!

 
 
 
evilone
Professor Guide
1.1.2  evilone  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.1.1    one month ago
Nothing gets the left going like the Babylon Bee!

There is no better examples of hypocrisy like the populist right.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.2  devangelical  replied to  Vic Eldred @1    one month ago
In a word: PRICELESS!

almost as funny as exploding maga hats ... /s

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1.2.1  seeder  Vic Eldred  replied to  devangelical @1.2    one month ago

Really?

Tell us more.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.2.2  devangelical  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.2.1    one month ago

[deleted][]

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
1.2.3  Tessylo  replied to  devangelical @1.2.2    one month ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Quiet
1.3  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Vic Eldred @1    one month ago
In a word: PRICELESS!

In a word: RACIST!

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Senior Expert
1.3.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @1.3    one month ago

What racial bin do you label Rashida?

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Quiet
1.3.2  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @1.3.1    one month ago
What racial bin do you label Rashida?

While she was born in Detroit, her parents are working class Palestinian immigrants and clearly the "joke" here is that she had a pager like those Hezbollah operatives that were intentionally exploded by some anti-terrorist group.

While this is clearly a "joke", lots of jokes can be racist as this is clearly intended to be making fun of her Heritage and name that identifies her as a Palestinian-American Muslim and tries to "comically" tie her to Islamic terrorists. This is apparently outrageously funny for many racist rightwing conservative Christian MAGA supporters, but they're the only ones laughing.

If it wasn't racist, then it should be just as funny if it was claiming that it was Jerry Nadler whose pager blew up. Strange that the Bee didn't use him for their "hilarious joke".

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Senior Expert
1.3.3  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @1.3.2    one month ago

“Palestinian-American Muslim” isn’t a racial category.

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
1.3.4  devangelical  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @1.3.2    one month ago
This is apparently outrageously funny for many racist rightwing conservative Christian MAGA supporters, but they're the only ones laughing.

... it's what passes for maga humor.

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Quiet
1.3.5  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @1.3.3    one month ago
“Palestinian-American Muslim” isn’t a racial category.

I apologize for not realizing someone would want to argue semantics when my point was beyond clear, if you must have it defined further her ethnicity would be "Arab-American".

racism: noun - prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Senior Expert
1.3.6  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @1.3.5    one month ago
I apologize for not realizing someone would want to argue semantics when my point was beyond clear, if you must have it defined further her ethnicity would be "Arab-American".

No apology necessary.  Semantics, well words have meaning.

In a word: RACIST!

So no, not racist.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.3.7  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @1.3.2    one month ago
"...identifies her as a Palestinian-American Muslim..."

You're absolutely right, DP, because it really is unfair to label her as being identified as a Palestinian-American Muslim just because she votes against anything that would benefit Israel, wears a keffiyeh and wrapped herself in a Palestinian flag to celebrate her election to the House of Representatives.  And the Jewish lawmakers are the ones who get accused of having double loyalty.  

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.

1bef2810-e8f8-43cc-bfcb-6ed467529b8e

.

R-C.d485deee3b79d7db557bab11ca0cc74a?rik=s6%2biV0oTnPLI%2bQ&riu=http%3a%2f%2fisraelstreet.org%2fwp-content%2fuploads%2f2018%2f11%2fRashida.png&ehk=qiJK%2bqatlmdaXkoNoAhdVyQ4gln%2bIuZtCTuVR4J%2f2c0%3d&risl=&pid=ImgRaw&r=0

 
 
 
Jeremy Retired in NC
Professor Expert
1.3.8  Jeremy Retired in NC  replied to  Dismayed Patriot @1.3.2    one month ago
While she was born in Detroit

So she's an AMERICAN.  And as 1.3.7 shows, she's an American who openly supports terrorists and stands against allies of the country she is a citizen of and supposedly represents.  

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Quiet
1.3.9  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Drinker of the Wry @1.3.6    one month ago
So no, not racist.

So, either you don't know the meaning of racist, or you're just being willfully ignorant of its definition which I clearly cited expecting you to make such a false claim.

racism: noun - prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism by an individual, community, or institution against a person or people on the basis of their membership in a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

"Arab-American" is an ethnic group even if it's not considered a "race", but that makes no difference when it comes to the actual definition of racism.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.4  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Vic Eldred @1    one month ago

Maybe she would be wise to dump her cell phone, walky-talky, watch, radio, computer, keffiyeh, the photo of Arafat on her office wall and the Palestinian flag she uses as a wrap.  After all, you never know. 

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1.4.1  seeder  Vic Eldred  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.4    one month ago

GXyoePGXQAEP5ff?format=jpg&name=small

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.4.2  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.4.1    one month ago

Sorry Vic, I can't open that picture.  Please save it to your computer picture library then copy it from there to post here. 

 
 
 
George
Junior Expert
1.4.4  George  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.4.2    one month ago

Hopefully you can see this.

256

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1.4.5  seeder  Vic Eldred  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.4.2    one month ago

I think George did it.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.4.6  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.4.5    one month ago

Yes he did, if that's the image you had posted.  Problem is, I don't think I get it, unless it's supposed to indicate that Israel is ignoring questions about whether they pulled off that fantastic Trojan Horse trick.  Hollywood should make a movie about it.  They did one about Munich. 

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1.4.7  seeder  Vic Eldred  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.4.6    one month ago
Problem is, I don't think I get it, unless it's supposed to indicate that Israel is ignoring questions about whether they pulled off that fantastic Trojan Horse trick.

I think the point is he should use Kamal Harris talking points since they seem to end the media's curiosity.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.4.8  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.4.7    one month ago

I don't think he needs to use (did you mean 'camel'?) Kamala Harris' talking points.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.4.9  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.4.1    one month ago

Holy smoke, Vic.  The picture just opened for me.  Maybe cause it's the morning, or my internet provider isn't so busy, I just can't understand some of the things that happen with this computer.

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1.4.10  seeder  Vic Eldred  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.4.9    one month ago

Antony Blinken is also surprised.  He is trying to reach Hezbollah leaders about a cease-fire deal and suddenly they aren't taking calls.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.4.11  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.4.10    one month ago

Maybe the wire with the tin can on the end wasn't long enough. 

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1.4.12  seeder  Vic Eldred  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.4.11    one month ago

Yesterday the current Hezbollah leader said there would be a price to pay.  Within the hour Israel hit 100 targets in Lebanon.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.4.13  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.4.12    one month ago

I just read that they also blew up 1000 Hezbollah missiles.

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1.4.14  seeder  Vic Eldred  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.4.13    one month ago

Plus 11 Hezbollah commanders. The WSJ had an article out on the new Israeli strategy recently :  "Instead of tit-for-tat exchanges, it will make clear to the Iran-backed militia the damage it will suffer if it continues to fire missiles at Israel’s north."

I thought it was a very interesting article:


Opinion | Israel’s New Hezbollah Strategy (msn.com)

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.4.15  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.4.14    one month ago

Can't open the link. 

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
1.4.16  seeder  Vic Eldred  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.4.15    one month ago

I'll post the entire article elsewhere.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
1.4.17  Tessylo  replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.4    one month ago

Do you find this humorous?

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.4.18  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Vic Eldred @1.4.16    one month ago

Since I'm the only one who can't see it you could just paste it to a PN to me.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.4.19  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Tessylo @1.4.17    one month ago

Cool out Tess, didn't you notice that this article is satire?

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
2  Tessylo    one month ago

Not funny satire doesn't do a thing for any one with a sense of humor.

 
 
 
Vic Eldred
Professor Principal
2.1  seeder  Vic Eldred  replied to  Tessylo @2    one month ago

A lot better than those late night "comics."

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Vic Eldred @2.1    one month ago

No, it's not.

Why do you think nobody cares about Dennis Miller any more? He drank the Kool Aid and went over to the dark side

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
2.1.2  Tessylo  replied to  Vic Eldred @2.1    one month ago

No.  No fucking way.  

 
 
 
JohnRussell
Professor Principal
2.1.3  JohnRussell  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.1.1    one month ago

Is Dennis Miller still alive?  He seems to have disappeared. 

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.1.4  Trout Giggles  replied to  JohnRussell @2.1.3    one month ago

See?

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
Professor Principal
2.1.5  Just Jim NC TttH  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.1.1    one month ago

As long as he thought the opposite he was okay but since he regained his sanity he suddenly isn't. Little bit hypocritical isn't it?

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.1.6  Trout Giggles  replied to  Just Jim NC TttH @2.1.5    one month ago

That's a difference of opinion about his sanity. He was never a far leftist. He was more middle of the road but for certain he was all about people minding their own business. But after 9/11 he became a hater and promoted George Bush's false narrative about Hussein. But did Dennis ever pick up a rifle and defend his own freedom of speech?

 
 
 
devangelical
Professor Principal
2.1.7  devangelical  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.1.6    one month ago

he's gravitated to the only audience that still thinks he's funny...

 
 

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