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Man Pretending To Be Straight Pretends To Hunt

  

Category:  Satire

Via:  gregtx  •  2 months ago  •  24 comments

Man Pretending To Be Straight Pretends To Hunt
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — A man who pretends to be straight went out into a meadow today to pretend like he was hunting.

S E E D E D   C O N T E N T


MINNEAPOLIS, MN — A man who pretends to be straight went out into a meadow today to pretend like he was hunting.

"It's just so relaxing to sit here and think about what it might be like if I was straigh -- er, if I was hunting," said Walz. "Ope! Got to calm down these jazz hands before I try pointing the ol' gun thingy around."

Walz then picked up a shotgun, carelessly twirling it like a baton. "Ah, takes me back to my days as a flag twirler," said Walz. "Look at me out here, a real hunter going hunting. I do love the neon orange! Do the bullets go in the big brown part on the back?"

After surveying every angle of the gun in search of where to load shotgun shells, noted firearms expert Tim Walz dropped a couple in the barrel. "My time handling weapons of war has served me well once again," said Walz proudly. "Yes sir, nothing like a pheasant hunt. Is that what we're hunting? Hey boys, how about we each sing our favorite song from RENT while we wait?"

At publishing time, Walz had reportedly performed the lead number "76 Trombones" from Music Man using the shotgun as a pretend trombone.


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jrDiscussion - desc
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GregTx
Professor Guide
1  seeder  GregTx    2 months ago

512

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
2  Tessylo    2 months ago

So now pretending Walz is gay is supposed to be funny.

So now you're going after the LGBGQ+ community.  So funny.

 
 
 
Dismayed Patriot
Professor Quiet
2.1  Dismayed Patriot  replied to  Tessylo @2    2 months ago

They're clearly desperate and pandering to their base that hate gay Americans and anyone that thinks for themselves or doesn't conform to the white male conservative Christian ideology. I'm sure you'll hear a few claim this is "just a joke" and they'll whine about people not being able to "take a joke". Apparently, making fun of someone that is different from you, be they gay, transgender, have skin a different color or are intelligent or educated, it's absolutely hilarious to them and those in their social circles.

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
2.2  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Tessylo @2    2 months ago

512

 
 
 
bugsy
Professor Participates
2.2.1  bugsy  replied to  GregTx @2.2    2 months ago

Exactly

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
2.2.2  Tessylo  replied to  GregTx @2.2    2 months ago

[]

 
 
 
GregTx
Professor Guide
2.2.3  seeder  GregTx  replied to  Tessylo @2.2.2    2 months ago

[]

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
2.2.4  Trout Giggles  replied to  GregTx @2.2    2 months ago

I'm only offended by comedy/satire that falls flat on its face.

The Babylon Bee needs different writers.

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
2.2.5  Tessylo  replied to  GregTx @2.2    2 months ago

[deleted][]

 
 
 
squiggy
Junior Silent
2.3  squiggy  replied to  Tessylo @2    2 months ago

He never said anything about Gentlemen's Quarterly.

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
3  Sean Treacy    2 months ago

The campaign's Dukakis in a tank moment..

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
4  Mark in Wyoming     2 months ago

This story came across my feed , comparing him to Elmer Fudd, Elmer at least could load his own shotgun and knew how it worked and could fire it .

 
 
 
Drinker of the Wry
Senior Guide
4.1  Drinker of the Wry  replied to  Mark in Wyoming @4    2 months ago

Elmer didn’t have a fine, $2,000 shotgun.

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
4.1.1  Mark in Wyoming   replied to  Drinker of the Wry @4.1    2 months ago

From my understanding , It was the persons that they use to use shooting clay pigeons (trap or skeet), in any event , if they were familiar with the firearm , they wouldnt have any problem .

 the video i saw made me cringe when he placed it against his groin , i was like be glad thats not a chainsaw , and you just put the bar between your legs trying to start it .

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
4.1.2  Split Personality  replied to  Mark in Wyoming @4.1.1    2 months ago

It's satire for gods sake.........not real.

 
 
 
Sean Treacy
Professor Principal
4.1.3  Sean Treacy  replied to  Split Personality @4.1.2    2 months ago
t's satire for gods sake.........not real.

The video is 100% real. 

 
 
 
George
Junior Expert
4.1.4  George  replied to  Sean Treacy @4.1.3    2 months ago

24 years in the military and Harris's VP is too fucking stupid to load a shotgun? his unit was safer without him in Iraq.

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
4.1.5  Split Personality  replied to  Sean Treacy @4.1.3    2 months ago

Yes it is, saw it on Fox, the satire is BS.

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
4.1.6  Split Personality  replied to  Mark in Wyoming @4.1.1    2 months ago

When the action wont slide more than halfway back it's the pin holding the firing pin.

It's probably bent from shooting trap in the past and the large end has moved out to create the interference.

Worse case scenario, he pounds it back in next time he cleans it properly.

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
4.1.7  Mark in Wyoming   replied to  Split Personality @4.1.6    2 months ago

I understand the incident was 100% real , the satire comes from the observations and commentary of the incident , and with my sense of humor , which can trend to be sardonic , it is what it is .

 an example of sardonic humor : when the enemies arrows blot out the sun , at least then we will fight in the shade .

 my example of sardonic humor : put the chainsaw bar between your legs to pull start it with your strong side dominant hand ( one will have to think about how a gas chain saw is set up to get that reference .)

Also just examples of things one should just NOT do .

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
4.1.8  Tessylo  replied to  Sean Treacy @4.1.3    2 months ago

No, how ridiculous.

 
 
 
Split Personality
Professor Guide
4.1.9  Split Personality  replied to  Mark in Wyoming @4.1.7    2 months ago

I have a large rectangular permanent bruise front dead center left thigh, like a permanent varicose nest.

Which is either from fighting a shotgun in a similar circumstance when it went off  ( I was at least sitting )

or a month later deep sea fishing when I spent two hours bringing in a 2 foot maui maui.

When I finally landed the fish, my friend's uncle pointed out the rod cups on the chairs and suggested I not use my thighs :(

Live and learn, they say, lol

 
 
 
Mark in Wyoming
Professor Silent
4.1.10  Mark in Wyoming   replied to  Split Personality @4.1.9    2 months ago

my money is on the fish .

 
 
 
Tessylo
Professor Principal
5  Tessylo    2 months ago

Funny how some don't get satire and then jrSmiley_76_smiley_image.gif

 
 

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