Breaking: can we get an article posted on Trump’s latest tariff threat before he backs down yet again?
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Editor : Ok unnamed writer. Trump just ‘Truthed’ that he was going to do a 35% tariff on all products sent into the U.S. from Canada. And I know the last 15 times he did this we scrambled to write an article and then he had already backed down before we could even publish it. But I believe in you. You can do this. Write this article quick and we can finally make a salient satirical point about the damage these tariffs will do before Trump panics in the face of an economic revolt. Let’s do this! Also remind me to take out my comments before I post ok or else everyone will read this and we’ll look like total idiots.
WASHINGTON D.C. – U.S. President Donald Trump has announced 35% tariffs on all products coming into Canada from the United States, a move that Mark Carney says will be devastating to both economies and likely drive us into a recession. But the PM was quick to remind everyone the tariffs probably would have been worse had he not completely caved on the Digital Sales tax.
Editor: Two sentences in the fucking lede?! We don’t have time for that. The stock market is collapsing bro Trump is probably going to post about a ‘great call’ with Carney any second now let’s go let’s go let’s go!
“The Tariffs announced by President Trump are a vicious attack on Canada’s sovereignty,” said PM Carney. “Most importantly, they were something no one could have predicted would happen when I gave him what he wanted in exchange for absolutely nothing at the start of our negotiations.”
Editor: Ok, solid burn. Now let’s move on we definitely don’t have time for an extra button quote.
“It’s not like there is a well known expression about giving people a small amount of something, like say an inch, and them taking a much, much larger amount, like a mile’s worth.”
Editor: God dammit.
Trump also advised that he expected to impose further tariffs on other trading partners, but at a lower rate than 35%, presumably because they cancelled their Digital Sales Tax even harder than Canada had.
Editor: Dude I swear to god you have like 30 seconds to wrap this up or I’m posting it as is. I don’t care if the article ends in the middle of a sentence.
At press time, Trump had announced that he was cancelling the tariffs on account of
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Aesop and the Grimms would have had a field day with this latest manifestation of: Chicken Licken, Chicken Little, Henny Penny or Hen-Len, Cocky Locky, Ducky Lucky or Ducky Daddles, Drakey Lakey, Goosey Loosey or Goosey Poosey, Gander Lander, Turkey Lurkey, and Foxy Loxy or Foxy Woxy. Did I leave out the boy who cried wolf?
Sure would.. all the hysteria over tariffs and they’ve raised 120 plus billion in revenue without destroying the economy like all the chicken littles claimed.
whos paying for it?
So, 90 deals in 90 days? So far there are only 2 sorta deals. At that rate it should take 10-11+ years to wrap it all up.
The reality is that Trump effectively imposed a consumption tax on the US public and, in the meantime, damaged international relationships and started trade wars.
Do you think Trump's tariffs were smart?
They've had remarkable success so far, so yes, of course.
So, the same 2.4% inflation as we had last September under Biden is "remarkable success"?
There is just no point explaining and reexplaining economic basics to those who simply refuse to recognize any wrongdoing by Trump.
How anyone can think that the tariffs have resulted in success is just sad. The fact that countless millions have this misconception is dangerous for our nation.
It might be 35%, 53% , 533% . It depends on how many Canadians insult him before the end of the day.
Treasury posts unexpected surplus in June as tariff receipts surge
From the article: " That brought the fiscal year-to-date deficit down to $1.34 trillion, a 1% decline from the same period a year ago ."
Does 1% deserve the 24 pt font you gave it? Really?
Take it up with CNBC. Do fonts scare you or something?
That you laugh at reducing the deficit explains so much of left wing politics. First June budget surplus in 20 years is a good thing.
Sooooo, you have no control over your font size when you copy and paste something?
? I said nothing about the font itself being an issue. I just don't think you need to unnecessarily post something in giant font for no reason.
I wasn't laughing at the 1% reduction; I was laughing at those sycophants going on the praise Trump propaganda tour.
I don't recall many Republicans on the praise Obama propaganda tour after he cut the deficit by 50% by the first year of his second term. Just more blatant hypocrisy from the right.
I know, I know, Republicans only care about the debt and deficits when Democrats are in office, and in the past several Republican administrations they exploded the debt and the deficit so I should be happy with the 1% cut so far.
But wait, the CNBC link claiming an "unexpected surplus" doesn't factor in the new budget just signed off on with the new budget that ADDS $2.8 trillion to the deficit. Well, there goes that 1%...
Perhaps Republicans can continue to make Trump happy with their "unexpected slurplus". The sound of sucking coming from the MAGAverse is deafening.
No, however, I have a braille screen and large fonts hurt my fingertips.