TRUMP SAYS VERMONT PRIMARY ELECTION WAS STOLEN FROM HIM / satire
Donald Trump held a press conference this morning at which he accused Marxists, communists, bird brains, migrants from shit hole countries, and African American poll workers of stealing the Vermont GOP primary from him.
"We won, bisgrly" Trump said, slurring the last word which was evidently intended to be "bigly".
" Vermont bought it's voting machines from the Congo, he continued, "and we all know people from the Congo don't even know how to count in English, let alone create voting machines. "
Trump continued " Vermont is the only state my opponent Crooked Hillary "won" last night, although I won more, and she needed help from election officials named Hernandez and Kalumba. When my daughter in law Lara takes over the RNC we are running the winos like Mitch Romney out of the MAGA party. And you know what Mitch rhymes with right ?
"I don't mind losing if it is a fair election, but when I lose it is never fair. The purple love me, the same pippsle that elected me twice and wait for 36 hours to get into my rallies would never let me lose in a shit hole state like Vemlont. "
"Go to TRUMP.com/store and by some useless crap with my name on it so I can stay out of jail"
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he never loses, the country does
Trump later said that his morning press conference was "perfect".
Also in today's Breaking News, Mitch McConnell endorsed Trump's racist insults of his wife.
AND NOW FOR SOME UNINTENTIONAL SATIRE
Always on the alert for the perfect scapegoat. At least he understood the one book he read
I know this article is satire, however, vermont is an open primary state. It’d be interesting to know how many dems voted for haley.