S E E D E D   C O N T E N T

The other day Tim "Apple" — aka Tim Cook, CEO of Apple, Inc. — prostrated himself before the president of the United States in order to thank Donald Trump for giving Apple a get-out-of-tariff-free-card from the 100 percent tariffs on computer chips.

Cook presented Trump with a glass trophy with a 24-karat gold base. (He also mumbled something about investing another $100 million dollars into Apple's US manufacturing facilities.) This unique gold gift will be added to Trump's growing collection of tchotchkes adorning the shelves, tables, walls, and ceiling of the White House.

Trump's obsession with gluing gold-plated ornaments all over the executive mansion is part of his overall plan to "upgrade" the White House to compete with the palaces of dictators in the Kremlin and the Middle East. This includes the installation of a car dealer-sized flag on the White House lawn, paving over the Rose Garden, and building a huge monstrosity of a ballroom that will dwarf the main residence.

One purpose for the ballroom is to pack many more donors into White House events as rewards for their campaign and personal contributions to the president. It's basic math. The more seats there are, the more cash will come in from people who buy Trump's various crypto products, contribute to the Trump presidential library, partner with the Trumps on building projects, or donate to Trump's campaign war chest.

For someone who isn't running for president again, a $200 million war chest can come in handy as a hammer to crush his enemies in GOP primaries or to "reward" his allies. The key for Trump is coming up with scams that leave as much of the campaign cash as possible in his pocket. He could, for one example, rent the Trump Golf Doral property for campaign events supporting candidates. The more services provided the more he can charge. The money would move from the campaign to the bottom line of Trump Doral Golf — i.e., into Trump's pocket. Alternatively, he could just take some of the money and buy stuff he likes. Laws? Please.

We know of Trump's plans to abscond with the $400 million Qatari jet after the Air Force spends $1 billion of taxpayers' money to retrofit it, and what's to prevent him from taking his whole collection of gold items to adorn a replica of the Oval Office in his library or at Mar-a-Lago?