Please Stop Putting Apple Cider Vinegar On Your Penis | HuffPost Life
By: Faima Bakar
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
If you're watching porn, the last thing you're probably paying attention to are the ads. But, if your eyes wander away from the videos for a second, you'll see a bizarre claim about apple cider vinegar.
Images of highly veiny animated penises being stuck into bottles of apple cider vinegar accompany the text "This Weird Trick Makes Any Penis Increase by 65%." These adverts are not totally dependent on your viewing habits, as a VICE reporter pointed out, but they do feature on a range of different sites.
But, please. Don't try it.
The page that the ads direct you isn't even flogging bottles of the vinegary stuff, but a pill that supposedly helps enlarge your penis, too. The supplement claims to increase testosterone levels, penis size, sexual stamina and correct erectile dysfunction.
Regardless, before you run to the kitchen cupboard to grab the apple cider vinegar, you should know that it won't work. And it will probably burn a lot.
Don't just take our word for it. Listen to the experts.
Erectile dysfunction website Mojo was quick to weigh in. "Step away from the apple cider bottle," the site's co-founder Angus Barge tells HuffPost UK. "Many men are drawn to seemingly simple home remedies because it feels like there is something natural and wholesome about them."
"However, there is no evidence that it will get you harder or larger," Barge continues. "It is thought that this old folks tale originates from the fact that apple cider vinegar can be good for your cardiac health and blood flow. Taking it orally it can help lower your cholesterol. Bathing your penis in it can make you smell like a chip shop."
Barge, who promotes erectile dysfunction awareness after experiencing his own performance issues in his late twenties, believes in a holistic approach. "For any men looking for ED quick fixes or penis enlargements we would suggest the best remedy is to start working on your sexual well-being," he says.
"There are loads of techniques you can use that help you build a more positive relationship with your penis. They have been used by doctors and therapists in private practice for decades; some take as little as 10 minutes and all you need is a quiet spot."
Sex expert Ruby Payne adds that using apple cider vinegar could actually be pretty dangerous. "Sometimes I can't believe I have to say these things, but there is absolutely no evidence (and I really mean NO evidence) that apple cider vinegar will do anything to help your penis grow bigger," she says.
"Not only will it sting like hell - especially if you shove it up your bum - it could actually burn where you have applied it. Damage to your skin can lead to infection, and nobody wants an infection down there."
You might have heard other natural home remedies also get the job done - but, sorry, these are unlikely to work as well. "Apple cider vinegar baths join the ranks of other growth myths, including pills and medication - sorry, there's no miracle cure out there and any ads are just snake oil or placebos," says Payne.
"There's no permanent way to extend the size of your penis. Penis extenders and penis pumps can work temporarily - mainly by causing the penis to swell due to negative pressure - but those effects will wear off," Payne continues. "My advice? Learn to love the penis you were born with. As the saying goes, it's not the size of the boat, but the motion of the ocean."
This post originally appeared in HuffPost UK.
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A public service announcement...
Isn't that a typo?
Didn't you mean... "A Pubic Service Announcement?"
My apologies.
[deleted]
Puts a new meaning on 'Feel The Burn!'.
I'm surprised that some of the biggest dicks on NT haven't chimed in on this seed yet.
Can't upset some delicate sensibilities...
Looks like I already did.
wait for it..........
Not I said the...well me I guess.
meh, flagging the guy with the delete button is probably not the wisest of moves...
However, a small saucer of apple cider vinegar with a drop of liquid dish soap will attract and drown gnats.
CRT approves this message.
I think it would be hard to sleep with that between your legs.
Huh, I should try that. Terrible gnats around the house this year.
We have had flies really bad.
It is gnats & mosquitos for us. Can't even enjoy sitting outside or the pool.
A couple weeks ago I went to a local park to watch a softball game. Had shorts on not long pants. Attacked and bitten on my legs by tiny flies coming out of the grass. Those suckers were drawing blood !
Nasty things. Makes me wish we had more bats in our area.
I like bats.
It's a good thing...
They are, but we haven't had as many this year as previous years & none have moved into our bat house.
I've got fleas.
Haven't gotten them (yet). The gnats & skeeters are bad enough.
We have been lucky with that.
You need the right music.
.
I love it.
We always have gnats. I have a deck I hardly use, because I get swarmed by gnats.
Many years ago I tried to get into drinking apple cider vinegar for health reasons. I was seeing all sorts of recommendations that it would soothe your gut, give you energy, lower your blood pressure, etc etc, a miracle food.
Unfortunately the taste is truly nasty.
I don't think I have ever even tasted it before.
When we use to go to Rehoboth Beach years ago they use to sell vinegar fries on the boardwalk. I think that was some kind of malt vinegar though.
Consuming Cider Vinegar does have some health benefits-- but not nearly as great as some of the click-bait articles we see online..
That being said I consume some every day-- in a Vinegar and Oil Salad Dressing. (There are other Vinegars that do taste better, but mixed with oil and herbs, etc, its not a bad salad dressing)
It also will eat the enamel off your teeth.
It also will eat the enamel off your teeth.
So will Lemon Juice...actually any acidic foods if you eat a lot of them..
(When I eat something Acidic, such as Vinegar, Lemon Juice,etc-- I sometimes briefly rise out my mouth immediately afterwards with a little water with Baking Soda in it)
This is not your grannies apple cider..
Stop it granny stop it right now...
Granny's rheumatiz medicine
This one -- while a bit expensive-- is pretty good.
(There may be other vendors on Amazon that sell the exact same product for less)
And with an Amazon Credit card you get 5% cash back from all purchases on Amazon and Whole Foods.
Donald Trump uses gasoline to enlarge his penis. No, seriously - if you’re a believer in Donald Trump you really should try it! Just let it sit for a few minutes while you enjoy a cigarette.
Some like it hot...
Good idea!
But many MAGA nutcases have another approach-- takes a few days but what with the newer & more highly dangerous Covid-variants, its easy to do. In fact, you don't have to even do anything-- rather, just don't do something.
Merely refuse to get the Covid Vaccine!!
A Conservative Radio Host Who Downplayed Vaccines On His Show Is On An Oxygen Machine After A Severe COVID-19 Infection
And if successful, many of these Anti-Vaxer loonies will (hopefully) become eligible for a Darwin Award!
What is..a "Darwin Award"?
Its an excellent idea:
The Darwin Awards are a tongue-in-cheek honor originating in Usenet newsgroup discussions around 1985. They recognize individuals who have supposedly contributed to human evolution by selecting themselves out of the gene pool by dying or becoming sterilized via their own actions.
The criterion for the awards states: "In the spirit of Charles Darwin, the Darwin Awards commemorate individuals who protect our gene pool by making the ultimate sacrifice of their own lives.
Darwin Award winners eliminate themselves in an extraordinarily idiotic manner, thereby improving our species' chances of long-term survival."
2 questions:
If you want your willy to get bigger why would you put the vinegar up your arsehole?
I didn't realize willies were that sensitive...
I didn't get that either. It almost read like don't put vinegar down there then try to stuff....