The Most Pathetic Republican Excuses on Trump Epstein Birthday Letter
By: Robert McCoy (The New Republic)
S E E D E D C O N T E N T
Republicans are pulling out some truly pitiful statements after the release of Jeffrey Epstein's 50th birthday book.
GOP lawmakers are tying themselves in knots to defend President Donald Trump after his unsettling, sexually suggestive 2003 birthday letter to Jeffrey Epstein was released Monday. The damning document appeared in a scrapbook that the House Oversight Committee subpoenaed from the deceased sex criminal's estate.
Below are some of the most pitiful reactions and denials from congressional Republicans.
1. "We've seen autopens they've used in the Biden administration"—Tim Burchett
Representative Tim Burchett of Tennessee, shown the letter by CNN's Manu Raju, denied its veracity and weaved a fanciful narrative.
"I mean, anybody can do a signature. We've seen autopens they've used in the Biden administration," he said, adding, "I've never known Trump to be much of an artist either"—even though, as Raju noted, there is actually a history of Trump making sketches.
"So you think really someone might have just forged this somehow?" Raju asked.
"Yeah," Burchett replied. "I mean, 'somehow'? It's so easy to do."
The Tennessee congressman suggested the document was created by the Biden administration, despite it having come from Epstein's estate. "They've had all this stuff for four years, and now they're bringing it out? I just don't buy it," he said.
Asked how the Biden administration could possibly be behind the letter—given that it was contained in a 2003 book subpoenaed from Epstein's estate—Burchett replied, "I mean, was I there in 2003 when they got it? Were you? No. That's the problem. You got to look at the chain of command on this stuff."
2. "It's not his signature"—Byron Donalds
Representative Byron Donalds of Florida joined the chorus of conservatives claiming that Trump's first name at the bottom of the letter is different from the president's current autograph. (Analyses, however, show the 2003 sign-off to be a perfect match with contemporaneous examples of Trump's signature.)
"From what I see, it's not his signature," Donalds told reporters. "I've seen Donald Trump sign a million things."
"This doesn't look like his signature to you?" a reporter asked.
"Nope!" he replied.
Donalds is, indeed, quite familiar with Trump's signature—or, at least, its current iteration. In July, when Trump was seeking to rally the GOP around his signature tax and spending plan, Donalds was among a gaggle of Republicans to visit the White House and leave with signed MAGA merchandise. (Burchett was there too, and posted a video online afterward in which Donalds encouraged him to show off his signed goodies.)
3. "Been a little busy today"—Mike Johnson
House Speaker Mike Johnson reacted to the letter by reflexively deferring to the president's word.
First asked about the message on Monday, Johnson said: "Been a little busy today. I haven't dialed in on that. I'm told that it's fake."
Asked again on Tuesday, Johnson said that he had not seen the drawing: "I've heard about it. But no," he told reporters, per PBS reporter Lisa Desjardins. "And the White House say[s] it's not true. So."
Never mind that Trump has been caught in lie after lie about Epstein.
4. "I take the president at his word"—James Comer
House Oversight Chair James Comer on Monday deflected questions about Trump's letter, accusing Democrats of attempting to score political points.
"The Democrats, they find one thing in there and they promote it and try to get a narrative. This investigation's about providing justice and accountability for the victims," Comer told reporters, apparently seeing pursuing accountability and scrutinizing the commander in chief's close relationship with Epstein as incompatible.
On Tuesday, Comer, like Johnson, approached the claims of the man known as the most dishonest president in U.S. history with utmost credulity.
"The president says he did not sign it," Comer told CNN. "So I take the president [at] his word."
5. "I haven't seen it"—Jim Jordan
Representative Jim Jordan of Ohio appears happy to take the ignorance-is-bliss approach on the matter.
Asked about the letter by CNN's Raju, he said, "I don't know if that's legit, and I haven't seen it. I'll take a look at it."
"Don't you want to learn more about Trump's relationship and friendship with Epstein?" the reporter asked him on Monday.
"No," he said. "I want to have [FBI] Director [Kash] Patel in next week, where we'll ask him about all kinds of things.… I haven't seen it. Don't buy it."
Throughout the Epstein affair, Jordan hasn't always been so quick to dismiss new evidence—or, at least, not when it's favored Trump.
When it was revealed that Epstein accomplice Ghislaine Maxwell told the FBI that Trump wasn't guilty of any misdeeds, Jordan was eager to believe the claims of the convicted sex trafficker currently angling for a pardon from the president.
"This confirms what we all knew," he told Fox News at the time. "We knew President Trump didn't do anything wrong here."
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Trump wrote in the book.
What are the secrets they shared ?
I think Trump knew Epstein was having sex with underage girls.
But lets face it, keeping that secret for Epstein is a moral failure, not a legal one. Since Trump has a gazillion moral failures, there is a chance this one wont stand out.
Maybe..maybe not.[✘]
His friends were all prominent people. If they did something wrong it should be exposed.
This is true.[✘]
donald j trump - criminal, traitor, pedophile, republican ...
We've known Trump is a pussy grabber since 2015. How is the Epstein book supposed to scandalize anyone?
Democrats' piety is unconvincing. Democrats attempting to claim the moral high ground after everything they've endorsed is ludicrous. What all the hair-on-fire outrage from Democrats prove is that people aren't listening to Democrats any longer. This is just more stupid politics from Democrats which means it is unimportant.
"The Epstein Files" has been a Republican and MAGA obsession for years. Now it is biting them in the ass.
Trump knew what Epstein was doing and it will come out. Do you care?
Jeffrey Epstein's Florida conviction for sex crimes happened in 2008. If there was really anything implicating Trump then Democrats would have disclosed it sometime over the last 17 years.
The issue isn't about Trump any longer since we've known Trump is a pussy grabber since 2015. The real issue at this point in time is Democrats' stupid politics. Democrats' obsession with Trump is beginning to bite them on the ass. Democrats are not offering any alternatives to the MAGA agenda; they're too obsessed with a sex scandal. Democrats aren't even in the game now.
[✘]
My, how you do contort logic to achieve your conclusions. Just because 95% of Republicans don't think that Donald Trump having sex with a minor would disqualify him from the presidency, the majority of the country does.
If he hadn't ran on exposing all of this information, you might have a point.
[✘]
Trumps involvement would not have been an issue until 2016 when he ran for president. Once he got in it would not be an issue. When Biden was president Merrick Garland was notorious for being deferential to Trump. Now Trump is president again. When in these 10 years or so do you think it would have been brought up? It is brought up now because MAGA demanded an answer as to who is implicated. Turns out their own guy might be one of them.
Why is Trump lying about having sent a birthday message to Epstein? Is he suddenly shy?
All the victims clamoring for 15 minutes in the press spotlight could have accused Trump any time during sworn testimony. Since so many Democrats are former prosecutors, they should know how to disclose the crime without disclosing the informant. Redaction is not limited to the intelligence bureaucracy. Clamoring about Trump's alleged sex crimes at this late date only highlights Democrats' failures over the last 17 years.
That argument focuses attention on Trump and Republicans by trying to highlight a broken promise to Republican supporters. Where are Democrats in that gripe? Democrats' message has been Trump is so bad he must be removed from office. The Republican that replaces Trump will be the hero; Democrats aren't even in that game.
Jeffery Epstein was outed during Obama's first year in office. You don't think Democrats and Obama would have used Trump's alleged sex crimes to counteract Trump's birther claims?
Democrats have used the pussy grabbing tapes, the titillating pee details in the Steele Dossier, the Stormy Daniels controversy, and the Jean Carroll civil case to score political points. While each of those controversies may have damaged Trump, none of them helped Democrats. Democrats may have hoped that political red meat would have consolidated support but that hope remained unfulfilled. Why would the voting public congratulate Democrats now? Why would another disclosure and more allegations remove Trump from office now?
The reason that neither political party wanted to release the files in the past is that it would have probably contaminated both parties and it was considered bad form.
The reason that the Democratic party wants to now is probably because most of them who would have been politically damaged have aged out of the system, but Trump hasn't.
A large part of Trumps base does not believe that he is in the files and will not believe it even if proven.
I think that we ought to reinstate the functional literacy test. The only two questions need be "Who won the 2020 Presidential election and "Was Trump in the Epstein birthday book". That would get rid of the totally delusional voters who are divorced from reality.
Chuck Schumer is still around. Schumer is listed where it matters.
A large part of Trump's base believe that Democrats are prominent in the Epstein files. And they're probably correct. A note from Bill Clinton is in the same book, after all. Bill Clinton is a known sex offender.
The pussy grabbing tapes, the Steele dossier pee escapades, Stormy Daniels' titillating tell-all, and Jean Carroll's sexual abuse judgement didn't faze Trump's supporters. But a sexually provocative birthday drawing for Epstein will turn the trick? Really?
Don't you mean a Jim Crow literacy test? Democrats have advocated for literacy tests since the Lost Cause.
I willing to bet dollars to donuts Trump stuck one or more of those underage girls with his noodlely appendage.
I'm not of any party, and I think the whole system is rigged against any party but Ds or Rs. Fuck them both. What we are seeing happening in America right now is a direct result of the two party system being driven to the extremes by a need to demonize each other to gain traction all because big money wants power.
I say fire them all and start over. But let me be clear, I am speaking of politicians, not the institutions themselves that we have created and refined. So keep the constitution and the institutions, keep the money and parties out of politics.
So no, I don't mean Jim Crow at all, it's more of a basic sanity test, not a literacy test. Hell, you can even have the questions read to oneself in any language one desires.
Fuck Em All to Hell, cause that's where they're going anyways.
Vive le Resistance!
That would be worth a lot more than donuts to the stuckee. Democrats boast having a number of former prosecutors who would know how to cash in on underage girls. Hell, even Kamala Harris should know how to prosecute the case. That was one of her boasts after she was coronated to be the candidate with the Big D.
So you actually mean a cognitive test? Seems kind of risky considering who is under Democrats tent.
Such an appropriate sentiment for a sex controversy.
Comedy is lost on some.
Ok...so this autopen leaped back 22 years ago to sign that birthday card. Hey, Quantum Leap was a great show but it was about a human being leaping back into time. Inanimate objects couldn't tag along
Tim Burchett is not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Are any of them?
No.
Those are some really great excuses. Convincing.
So, somebody forged his signature over 20 years ago on the off chance that he might someday be president, and this would be the one big thing that would be a problem for him?
sounds feasible
Also, Democrats did this forgery when Trump was a Democrat because…reasons.