Owner of Portland diner defends yelling at screaming child
Marcy's Diner in Portland Shawn Patrick Ouellette/Staff Photographer
The owner of a Portland diner is defending comments she made on her Facebook page about yelling at a 2-year-old child for crying, screaming and disrupting her customers dining experience. The encounter happened Saturday.
Darla Neugebauer, who owns Marcys Diner on Oak Street in downtown Portland, was unapologetic for her actions both on Facebook and in an interview with WCSH-TV.
Neugebauer wrote in a Facebook post which has since been removed from the diners page that she snarled at the girl, who had been crying steadily for more than 40 minutes while her parents talked. She said the parents ordered three full-sized pancakes for their child, which on a busy Saturday takes a while to cook. Neugebauer claims the parents ignored the child, even after the girl was served the pancakes.
When Neugebauer returned to cooking food for other customers, she claims the toddler started crying again. That is when she returned to their table.
I (well the demon) snarled at top volume, That needs to stop! Neugebauer wrote on her Facebook page Sunday. They (the parents) said did you just yell at a child? Yup! Sure did! Shut her up too! Why is it OK for that kid to disrupt the experience for 75 people when mommy and daddy could have taken it outside?
The mother of the child,Tara Carson, wrote a message on Facebook saying that anyone with a toddler knows when you wait for more than 40 minutes for food your child runs out of patience so crying is normal. She said she is looking to other moms to come to her defense.
Neugebauer could not be reached for comment Sunday the diner closes every day at 2 p.m. but a reporter from WCSH-TV did catch up with her. When the reporter asked if she stood by her actions, Neugebauer said she has no regrets because yelling at the girl made her stop crying.
Life is full of choices and youve got to live with all of them, she told the Portland TV station. When asked if she were sorry, Neugebauer replied: I dont know if sorry would be the proper word. I might have used poor judgment.
There were numerous comments on Neugebauers Facebook page both criticizing and praising her actions. The comments indicated that 845 people liked it, while it was shared by 910.
WCSH-TV also caught up with Carson Monday for a phone interview about the incident. Carson claimed her child was not screaming but crying. The child is not yet 2 years old, Carson said.
Bravo to the owner! I am so sick of parents who take their kids out to restaurants and then don't control them. I can't count the number of times I have heard kids making noise and yelling and talking loudly and their parents not only not doing anything about it, but actually thinking it was cute. And I don''t mean like at McDonalds or even IHOP, but at nice places to eat! HEY! They're your kids! They are not "cute" to me or (I suspect) most of the other people there! If you can't control them, then leave or hire a babysitter before you go. None of the rest of us want to hear your "cute" child becoming a spoiled brat with shitty parents! I feel most sorry for the child being raised with horrible manners by spoiling parents.
If I am ever in Portland ME (not likely, but still...) I am going to make it a point to eat there and if Marcy is there, I'm going to shake her hand and thank her!
I agree. It sounds like something people always say, but it is the truth that I would have never gotten away with what a lot of kids get away with in restaurants and neither did my children. Granted this child was only 2 years old, but that means it was up to the parents to realize that, for whatever reason, they couldn't settle their child down, apologize and leave. Or have employed a babysitter and left the child at home in the first place.
As this child get's older, with parents like this, they are going to just keep getting worse and worse in public. The next thing you know they'll be 5 years old and sitting in the seat behind you on on an airplane!
I have to go with W.C. Fields on this one. When asked how he liked children, he replied...''Well Done''.
Okay she yelled in the baby's face.
Actually I believe she yelled at the parents. However I agree she could have chosen her words a bit more ...judicially...on FaceBoook. I still applaud the sentiment though and have wanted to do the same thing several times myself.
I have to go with W.C. Fields on this one. When asked how he liked children, he replied...''Well Done''.
Perfectly said, as Fields' so often did.
Oh and deep fried they taste like chicken...or so I've heard...
Granted, listening to a screaming child wears on one's nerves. The parents should have removed the child from the premises.......however........the ownerwent ballistic in her letter andmade herself look like aCrazy Woman. IMO
I'm a baaaaaad boy...
I think she thought so too, which is why she took it down and put up the one she has on her diner website now.
I'm glad she took it down. ( didmiss stating that she took it down?))
The one she has on her facebokk page (below) is the mild one.
Ok. I think it is the adult's fault. No 2 year old can sit still for that long without some kind of toy, food, crayons, paper, etc. I blame the parents for not taking the child out, unless the weather was awful, as it has been here, lately. Secondly, I feel sure that the owner could have thought of some kind of a better word choice, a more tactful way of speaking to the parents. Even requesting that someone take the child out for a bit, until it could calm down.
When my son was 3, he had a melt down in a restaurant. We just went outside to the sidewalk, he and I, leaving my husband eating dinner, and I told him that we would go back in when he could calm down. We sat outside for about 15 minutes, and I spoke with him quietly, and told him how much I loved him, but that there are ways we behave out in public, and at restaurants. That we are not allowed to ruin other people's dinner. We had to sit quietly, and to take his time, we would go in when he was ready.
The owner of the restaurant smiled at me when we came back in and he was as good as gold, afterward. I can't think what ANY of these adults could have been thinking! If a child is upset, yelling at it is only going to upset it more. You can make your point a bit more politely, and if the parents don't get the message, try to be more firm, but not as mean as this woman was.
I'm soon to be 60 years old, and I have no little ones, and I wouldn't eat at this restaurant on a bet.
I'm 59 and have no little ones and I'd eat there in a heartbeat. Her actions might have scared all of the parents with youngsters away and have them boycotting the place. So it'll most likely be nice and peaceful.
I agree Dowser, but, I think that the owner handled it all wrong. I think she should have asked at least one of the parents to take the child outside until the child calmed down.
With that rude woman? Egad! She's like the Soup Nazi!
I agree with you-- I think the adult owner handled it all wrong!
To me the whole thing is just funny.
Good way to look at it!!
SOUP NAZI......I love it!
My wife and I don't like children (Really. We don't), now that we've been there and done that. So we usually cringe when we are out to eat and they seat a couple or single person with a child or children near us. However there was one time at The Cheesecake Factory in The Grove in LA, when we had just been seated and a couple was seated at the table next to us a few minutes later with a boy of about 7 or 8 and a girl of about 4 or 5. We expected the worst but they were just about the most well-mannered children ever! They said please and thank you and talked in a regular voice with no noise or yelling or anything like that!
We were so impressed that when we got up to leave we went over to their table and complimented the parents on how how well behaved their children were. I believe it was the mother who said the secret is just to start them young from the time they can understand what you are saying and go from there. Both the boy and the girl thanked us for complimenting them. It was so refreshing!
Like the Cop and the Lady in Texas, if you're on either side you should remain calm.Both behaved badly in both cases.
We as parent don't get a licenseto have children.We don't get to pick them out and You don't get a hand book.But you better take the job seriously.
I raised my child for years as a single parent.When he was younger he expected to be seated in a high chair at a table with some toys and nibbles while we waited. If I was with friends are family we didn't ignore him. My biggest problems is that perfect strangers though he was so cute they couldn't leave him alone.
When he got older and was more active, I used the one two three count system with him. If I said one it meant stop what you are doing, Two was ok, one more chance, and If I got to 3 we were out of there. I left meals on the table, or grocery baskets halfway full at the store, but a couple of practice runs, and he knew that the messing around only ended in going home and the outing was over. My mother always told me that I should not embarrass her, because what ever I did was a reflection on her. The burden was then placed on me.
Perhaps she is contemplating entering the field of Republicans running for the presidential nomination???
An once of prevention is worth a pound of cure:
I understand that a single dram of whiskey served prior to pancakes makes things go much smoother at breakfast for children . But I under no circumstances advocate the serving of alcohol to minors . That would be illegal [although not necessarily immoral ] .
ROFLOL Good one!! Love it!!
there was one time at The Cheesecake Factory Wow...did you see Penny there?/ (from the Big Bang Theory) j/k I have done the same thing, and the parents were so appreciative of the compliment.
The 1..2..3.. method came in handy many times for me!