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ISRAELI SUBMARINE WITH ATOMIC CRUISE MISSILES AT BOTTOM OF DEAD SEA

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

Via:  buzz-of-the-orient  •  8 years ago  •  12 comments

ISRAELI SUBMARINE WITH ATOMIC CRUISE MISSILES AT BOTTOM OF DEAD SEA

ISRAELI SUBMARINE WITH ATOMIC CRUISE MISSILES AT BOTTOM OF DEAD SEA


AmmanAl-Arabica, the favoured newspaper of Amman supermarket shoppers, has reported that a Jordanian tourist, while basking in the sun at the Alhambra Resort, located on the Eastern shore of the Dead Sea, spotted an Israeli submarine periscope protruding from the water and peering at him.  He could tell it was Israeli because the tip of the periscope appeared to have been removed.  The tourist, by the name of Ali Mohan, reported his find to an Al-Arabica reporter when they met for a cup of coffee.  Al-Arabica reporters always drink coffee. The shape and size of the periscope as described by Mohammed indicated that it belonged to the new secret ZION class submarine, which, according to Professor Mustafa of the Ali-Baba Institute of Marine Technology, is capable of firing off 18 cruise missiles with atomic warheads (just before he was hung for writing the word ZION).. 

Upon hearing this news, President Ahmajerksobad of Iran said that the Zionist Regime will stop at nothing, even disguising a submarine as a giant pickle in brine.  “The only thing that could keep that submarine underwater in the Dead Sea (wherein the buoyancy is immense)” said Professor Mustafa, “is if it were loaded with a full compliment of atomic warhead-tipped cruise missiles.”  Moman Abbasinia of the PLO announced that this would not stop the Palestinian’s drive to obtain the totally meaningless vote of the United Nations for Statehood.  Queen Moor, being a movie buff, thought that the pickle, er...submarine might have been commanded by Captain Sean Connerbergsky, formerly of the Red October, since he usually pilots new concept submarines.

When asked about this discovery, Defence Minister Brubak said that Israel would find itself in a pickle (or was that would find a pickle) if such a story were true because all of Israel's submarines were deployed elsewhere.  He thought it was a dilly of a story, but wasn't sure if it were old or new.

It is anticipated that as this story develops it will become more well known by the public, especially when it has been picked up by Al-Guardian, Veterans Today, Al-Jazeera and The New York Times


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Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Buzz of the Orient    8 years ago

I originally published this years ago, but thought there are many new members who would be deprived of a good laugh if it were not repeated now. I did not mark it "Satire" because it is posted now in the "Humour" forum and a person would have to have cotton batten for a brain if they didn't realize it wasn't true.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   Kavika     8 years ago

''He could tell it was Israeli because the tip of the periscope appeared to have been removed.''

LOL

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Kavika   8 years ago

I knew that you would get the joke, although I doubt many others would.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Quiet
link   Randy  replied to  Buzz of the Orient   8 years ago

That part gave it away, right away.Laugh

 
 
 
Bob Nelson
Professor Guide
link   Bob Nelson    8 years ago

I thought it was an article from Haaretz...

     winking

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Bob Nelson   8 years ago

Au contraire, Bob. Ha'aretz would have criticized Israel for such a threat to Ha'aretz's beloved Palestinians.

 
 
 
Cerenkov
Professor Silent
link   Cerenkov    8 years ago

Lol.

 
 
 
Larry Hampton
Professor Quiet
link   Larry Hampton    8 years ago

Yes, they have kept a sub under the dead sea for sometime now. I thought everybody knew that.

;^)

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
link   Krishna    8 years ago

Well, here's something that is true (or so i've heard): Israel does have some missile launching subs (either one or two are kept mostly submerged, in the Arabian Sea cruising back and forth off the Iranaian coast...(just in case...).

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
link   seeder  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Krishna   8 years ago

I hope so.

 
 
 
Randy
Sophomore Quiet
link   Randy    8 years ago

I hope not.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
link   Kavika     8 years ago

Germany has supplied Israel with submarines, and my guess is that they will continue to do so.

 
 

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