Jesus wept: There were 12 reported incidents of Christian pastors molesting kids — in just the last month

According to the Crimes Against Children Research Center , 1 in 5 girls and 1 in 20 boys is a victim of child sexual abuse. The exact number of actual sexual assaults is unknown since many victims never speak up or, in some cases like Florida, the sexual assault is hushed up .

Sadly Pj, this is never going to end.

Who would take a child's word against a well-known, well-respected pastor?  It happened to me, and my mother told me that it was all my fault.  Yep.  Been there.  No fun, either.  The pastor that abused me just retired a few years ago, with his full pension.  

I'm sorry {{{Dowser}}}.

Thanks, Lynne.  I am fiercely protective of children!

I'm sorry that happened to you, too, Dowser.  Hugs.

Sweet KatPen, thank you!  It was a nightmare, that time... 

 It happened to me, and my mother told me that it was all my fault.  Yep.  Been there.  No fun, either.

I am so sorry to hear that it happened to you and I can relate to some degree. I was molested also. I hate that word, molested. It's too proper and soft and doesn't really say what happened. I was raped in my ass by my mom's boyfriend when I was seven years old. He got away with it too because, at the time my mother was a drunk and useless as a mother or protector and passed out nightly. Though he ended up years later dying homeless, frozen to death in the winter in an alley going through heroin withdrawals because he didn't have the money for more. It was a terrible death, but not bad enough in my eyes. After more then 50 years that hate remains.

I forgave my mother many years ago. The man was a monster and in many ways (beatings, etc.) she was a victim of him too. She, on her own and against him, cleaned up her act, went to a state sponsored welfare school at the YWCA to learn to be a secretary, plus they had a safe house program the put her in and the police warned him (he was a twice convicted felon (murder and bank fraud)) that he would get life without parole as his third strike if he ever came near her again. She eventually met a really great guy, worked 37 years for Social Security and they had a very happy marriage. He died 17 years ago and she went last New Years Eve, happy because she believed she'd be with him again. I loved her and I miss her.

I hope that you have learned to deal with the mental pain and the wondering what you did wrong to have this happen to you and have realized that, no mater the guilt, it was not your fault in any possible way. You were a child and a victim of a horrible crime. I hope you've been able to move on and, while never being able to forget it, have dealt with it. Exorcised it. And have found your way to a good life since then. Many don't.

Thanks, Randy...  Other than a lifelong distrust of pontificating ministers, which is borne out in many instances, I am alive and well.  Forgiveness is something that takes time, and I hope that I have forgiven him.  I have found it difficult to forgive my mother, but am working on it...  It's getting better.  My life, as a whole, is very good, and I am happy.     

Thank you for your support and concern!

I am VERY sorry that you have had to deal with this.  No child should!

(((Lady Dowser)))  I think one of the most hurtful betrayal comes from a parent not believing their child.  I'm sad to hear what you went through.  You have one of the kindest hearts which tells me you haven't given up on humanity.  I'm glad to know you my friend.  :o)

I a very grateful that you are my friend!  Thank you!!!

It was very damaging, and has affected my whole life.  One reason, I suppose, as to why I don't trust churches, in general.  I have a very strong faith, but not for the church-- for God.  Churches, and the hypocrisy they embody, disgusts me...  My father believed me, but my mother didn't.  Mama automatically assumed that I was at fault-- as she did for everything.  It was ridiculous!  But, it is what it is...

Take care, dear Pj.  This is a problem that needs to be discussed!

Everyone should weep when innocent children are abused. It is really bad when a trusted authority figure like a pastor/priest does it or a teacher/ councelor or a relative does it and violates trust.  These events do severe damage to children.  I believe all heaven weeps when innocents are made to suffer like that.  There is no excuse for violating a young person and those that do need to be forever kept away from children

I can certainly agree with that. It's bad enough that it happens, but I think it's a bit worse mentally when it's a relative or someone you're supposed to trust. With therapy (which I have gone through many times over the years of my life and am seeing a therapist every two weeks for an hour at Jewish Family Services currently) you can move on with your life. In some sessions several years ago I tore the scar of it open with a psychologist and it was several months, more then a year actually of once and many times twice a week hourly session in which you cry, scream even fight with your therapist, but anyone who says they have gone through therapy for something bad in their life and didn't go through crying, screaming and anger, had a lousy therapist. I was lucky. The psychologist I had at the time was one of the best. It was mentally horribly painful to the point that I made a very serious attempt at suicide and ended up in the ICU at the hospital at UCLA followed by more then a week in a locked psychiatric facility there, but he got me through exposing the wound, opening it, letting it drain and heal over.

(((Randy))) What an extraordinary person you've become.  You've had obstacles and challenges that most will never face let alone overcome.  You are one of the strongest people I'm privileged to get to know. 

Thank you PJ, but I have to give most of the credit to a really, really great Psychologist in Marina del Rey who I will not name for privacy reasons. For many years in my life I went to various therapists, but none of them practiced as confrontational therapy as he did to dig out what had happened to me. He demanded that I bring it to the surface, to recall the details I could remember, to really look at it, to deal with it and to realize that that approach could help heal me. I remember times screaming in anger, total rage really, at him and storming out of his office swearing to him I'd never be back, but I always returned. And times sobbing uncontrollably. He knew just how to react to my anger and how to react when I just needed to talk. And you know, he never raised his voice once to me. It was the way he talked and the things he said that did it.

For most of my life I kept holding everything in. All of the hate and anger and pain, at my molester and my mother and he forced and cajoled me to bring it out, like lancing and draining a very painful boil. It was a dangerous and very painful type of therapy. After the pain was too much I took 30 Ambien and 30 Somas, which was more then enough to kill me. My wife discovered my unresponsive in my bed. In fact I stopped breathing in the ambulance and was in a coma for nearly two days in the ICU with a respirator breathing for me because I couldn't. I sure have to give a lot of credit to the LA Fire Department and the hospital at UCLA for saving my life. When I was finally released from the loony bin (I found out that if you've been in patient in one you're allowed to call them that and I've been in three) I was going to him three times a week for an hour each time. Then twice a week and then once a week and finally every two weeks. I was a patient of his for two and a half years. In reality he was the one who really saved my life. He's my hero.

The suicide attempt was five years ago this coming August 4th and the last time I saw that doctor was when we moved here from Los Angeles a little over two years ago. But I'll never forget him because I have his business card stuck to my computer along with the wrist band from the psychiatric hospital taped to the side of the screen. With the proper medications and what he taught me I've learned to control my suicidal impulses, which I have nearly daily and not give into them. I'm on Social security Disability because I have bad reactions to stress like rages or deep depression. Again medications take the edge off. So I am retired now.

So now I have more time to argue with right wingers on here and anti-gays and hyper-religious people and on and on.

This is just more evidence of how religion poisons everything.  No doubt you have all heard JR's standard rebuttal to this - that incidents of child molestation in religious settings occur at the same rate as secular settings where adults have access to kids.  That just goes to show that having religion means nothing, even though it is the last environment one should expect to find such vile behavior from an adult.  It's logical to expect the rate of child molestation to be 1,000 times higher in the secular world than in religious institutions, but that is not the case.

There are far far far more instances of child sexual abuse outside of "christian" settings than there is within them. What the percentages are of religious people committing these abuses compared to non religious people committing these abuses is anybody's guess. There is no statistic on this to my knowledge, nor likely, could there be.

Most people on a site like this say they are not religious, but are happy to criticize the "religious" aspect of some immoral behavior. I think there is some hypocrisy there.

Most people on a site like this say they are not religious, but are happy to criticize the "religious" aspect of some immoral behavior. I think there is some hypocrisy there.

John - that's a good point but you should consider that some people that don't identify as being religious are not religious for a reason and the reason may be connected to a situation such as this.  I'm not sure I would say they are happy to criticize but I would probably say they are angry and it gives them a platform to lash out but I will agree there is also some hypocrisy.  In my experience, most people lash out because they've felt let down or betrayed. 

The reason why I don't accept the argument that molestation within and outside the church is comparable is because one touts faith and love and trust and the other doesn't promise anything.  The church is supposed to be a haven where you are protected and not taken advantage of.  Outside the church it's every man for himself.  It can't be compared no matter what the statistics say.

The reason why I don't accept the argument that molestation within and outside the church is comparable is because one touts faith and love and trust and the other doesn't promise anything.  The church is supposed to be a haven where you are protected and not taken advantage of.  Outside the church it's every man for himself.  It can't be compared no matter what the statistics say.

I think you prove my point. You say that you are not religious but somehow claim to know what standard religious people should be held to.

I think that coaches, teachers, youth group leaders, and uncles and fathers can all be presumed to be held to the same high standards that religious figures are. Why not ?

If you want to say that religious should be held to a higher standard than a psychopathic pevert like the guys who keep young girls captive in underground compartments for years, then I will agree with you.

I think you prove my point. You say that you are not religious but somehow claim to know what standard religious people should be held to.

Okay, I'll consider what you're saying.  I am no longer a religious person for personal reasons.  Part of my youth I was raised Catholic (my Mom's faith) and when she remarried, later in my youth I went to a Lutheran Church (my Dad's faith).  I do have some background in religion so even though I no longer am tied to a specific religion I think I do have some qualifications based on my experience to determine my standards for religious people. 

I think that coaches, teachers, youth group leaders, and uncles and fathers can all be presumed to be held to the same high standards that religious figures are. Why not ?

Well - I agree they do hold some level of trust but I don't agree that the level of trust if viewed equally to one that holds a religious position BECAUSE they supposedly are a representative of God.  Everything they do is in the name of God.  Anyhow, that's my argument for why I don't think you can compare the two even though they are equally devastating to the abused.

Well, I am not sure that many religious portray themselves as a special representative of God.

The televangelist types do, and religious fanatics among the clergy may do that, but I don't believe those people represent the majority of priests, ministers, or other religious clergy.

In the Catholic religion, the office of priesthood represents a connection with God, I guess, but the individual priest does not necessarily. I have never known or seen a priest who says "God speaks through me".

John - respectfully, whether or not a religious leader/representative says "God speaks through me" or "I'm teaching the word of God" or "God teaches us", they are viewed as being a representative of God and therefore hold a position of trust above all others.  We have been conditioned to look at the church and those representatives of the church with respect and to not question what they say.  Why do you think for so long children were so successfully molested by religious leaders?  It's because they knew they would get the benefit of the doubt and even the churches themselves looked upon those molester's as better than the average person because of their religious positions - moving them from parish to parish when caught. 

I'm not saying it's right or wrong but it's reality.  We've been taught to have "blind faith" and the church took advantage of that faith by exploiting our children and protecting the molester's they hid within their walls.

Blind faith is still used to manipulate people.  When non believers question a religious person the one argument that they LOVE to answer with is that they "just believe and have faith".

What you sound like is a non-religious person.

The INSISTENCE that religious child sex offenders deserve a special condemnation is, I think, allowing many child sex offenders to escape the scrutiny they deserve.

Yeah, I guess I can see where I may be giving mixed messages.  I don't know how to respond to what you're asking without giving the wrong impression.  I don't want to dismiss the actions of any molester or to claim that one action is more horrible than another.  Any and all acts of abuse are unconscionable.  What I'm saying is that when a molester uses their position of trust and faith to identify victims with the knowledge that they are above reproach because their employers will protect them (the church leaders) than I look at it differently.  I wouldn't expect that it would happen from a man of God.  

One thing I think we can agree on and that is that no matter who is doing the molesting they should be punished. 

Consider one young adult person is considering their options for an occupation, and his options are all secular plus the priesthood, and another person is doing the same but excludes the priesthood.  The first one decides to go into a theological direction.  If both of these individuals eventually get arrested for raping a child, it is going to be shocking to everyone who knows them, but it will be naturally more shocking for the one who chose a occupation that specifically is in service to their God.  That's just how it is, and I don't understand how you can't agree with it.

Maybe, maybe not.

If religious types committed child sexual abuse at a higher rate than the general population, it could be seen as something of serious societal concern. Since, according to experts who have studied the issue this is not the case, concentrating on religious transgressions instead of the non religious aspect as well, would seem to be an error.