Mom Cuts Off Son Who Took His Wife's Last Name
This was in Dear Abby this morning-- and it got me to thinking:
DEAR ABBY: I am estranged from my son because he changed his last name when he married. He did it over my objection. Reportedly, his wife's parents tried to dissuade them from doing it, too. The explanation we were given was "they need to have the same last name to feel like a family." I suppose our last name was not acceptable, although they claimed they had nothing against it.
I tried to compromise and suggested my son use a hyphenated name. They agreed to it, but changed their minds after the wedding. I suspect that their reason was they want their children to have a different last name than ours.
What is your take on this? Am I overreacting by wanting to have nothing to do with them? -- MOM OF ANOTHER NAME
DEAR MOM: Yes, you are overreacting. If you keep this up, your grandchildren will miss out on a loving grandma. It is possible that your son and his wife preferred a name that was less ethnic or easier to spell. Hyphenating names can create problems -- especially if it continues into the next generation.
From the letter, I have no idea what the name was-- but I can imagine from some of the names that I've run across in my life.
As a school teacher, I had both Female, (FemALLee), and her brother, Male, (Mallee) in one of my classes. I had a dear boy whose last name was Bean, and his first name was Howl. I had Congalyn, Tongalyn, and their brother, Sammy. Then, there was Lemonjello, (LeMONjello). The first day of class was always really interesting, to say the least. I got so confused, I managed to butcher Jones into something else...
I often wondered, who names these poor kids? Do they go their whole lives saying, "No my name isn't Lemon Jello, its LeMONjello?
I've never been really fond of my own name, Marsha, because it placed me firmly in the 1950s, just like my Mother's name, Norma Scherer, placed her firmly in the 1930s, and just like my Grandma, whose name. Ida Mae, placed her firmly in the 1890s. If I had my druthers, I'd have preferred something like Elizabeth or Katharine, or something more traditional.
Yet I know few people who have changed their first name, and some people get a double whammy when they marry. I had a good friend, whom I LOVE, named Helen Titsworth. I kid you not, that was her last name. (I changed the first name to protect her privacy...) It didn't help that she was a busty young woman, although she was very classy, and lovely in all ways, she was saddled with a maiden name that gave everyone pause who met her. So then, Dear Helen married. She married a very nice man, whose last name was Pickens. So, she because Helen Titsworth Pickens. Can you think of a more unfortunate last name choice?
Then, there was the fellow I worked with, who was very powerful in the company, whose nickname was Birdy, and whose last name was Birdschett. Birdy Birdschett, (Bird-shit). His secretary giggled every time she answered the phone. It didn't help that he wore round eye glasses and sort of looked like a bird, perching on the edge of his chair in his office. He was a wonderful guy, really. Or, at least he was wonderful to me, and I NEVER laughed at his name-- except at home, where I kept a running list of unusual names I ran across.
Grandma's friend, Ophelia Self. She was a lovely older woman when I knew her, who had been stuck with her name all her life. She told me that she just couldn't change the name God Gave Her. My thought: although it's too late now, change it. Maybe you wouldn't have been able to overcome your name and meet a nice beau.
Grandma's friends who were chiropractors-- Eula Ketcham and Eila Killem. They were delightful, old, staunch, women who practiced together-- and they had had a notable practice. Just about everyone went to Dr. Ketcham and Dr. Killem to get their backs adjusted... I was closest to Dr. Ketcham, who drove a 1958 Cadillac and went to the bank, every day. She always went through the drive through, and they would ask her to wait, until the Bank Manager could go outside and make sure the coast was clear. Dr. Ketcham would run over anybody and anything-- she couldn't see well... And she drove a tank of a car.
Then, there was Art Hazel's mother, whose first name was Hazel. A truly lovely woman who married into a family named Hazel, she was stuck with Hazel Hazel all her married life. Now, she should have been able to change one of them, don't you think?
And the Ball family. Now, what on earth would prompt them to name their eldest Volley? But they did, and Volley Ball just passed away a few years ago.
So, as I'm reading this letter, ( see above ), about the mother who is appalled by her son's taking his wife's name as his-- I have the feeling there is a lot more to this story. I mean, from the letter, you can't tell, but what if the wife's first name is unusual or she goes by an unusual nickname, like "Dot". And their last name is Comm? I wouldn't want to be Dot Comm all my life.
Do you think it is acceptable to change names at will? I mean legally, go-to-court-and-change-your-name, kind of thing?
Thanks for coming by!
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Please feel free to share some of the unusual names you have run across in your travels through life, and tell me what you think about changing them.
I've never been really fond of my own name, Marsha, because it placed me firmly in the 1950s
Why is it always 'Marsha, Marsha, Marsha?????' --Jan Brady, circa 1970
I don't know and have gotten very tired of it over the years. Still, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha", is better than being called "Marsha Yucky", because we had a weather girl named Marsha Yockey on the news... A flaming alcoholic, she made watching the weather fun!
Sorry, I always remember that from the Brady Bunch (Marsha, the oldest sister, Jan the middle daughter always felt slighted).
I had to do it. If I didn't some other joker would.....
Well, I'm certainly not a bit ticked off you said it first! Yes, I knew it was coming... To make matters worse, I married a man named John.
For some reason I put the "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha" thing together with Cary Grant. What causes that?
Maybe he said it too, Buzz. Maybe Jan Brady was quoting Cary Grant!
Nope - I think Buzz is referring to "Judy, Judy, Judy".
I miss him. He could always be counted on to give a wonderful performance!
Yes, he was a very classy actor. There are very few of them today.
I used to call my cat, "The Cary Grant of Kitties", because he could jump flat footed from the floor to the top of the door and often perched there, for hours. He never broke anything, he never made a mess, he was always suave and debonair. Not to mention, SWEET!
If people want to change their name, I think it's fine....
Iron Lu, Steel Lu, Ronde Boulder, Falcon Hawk...A few I've run across.
Those are great!
If I could pick, I'd choose Falcon Hawk.
Not a bad combo, at all!!! A LOT better than Helen Titsworth Pickens!
It just dawned on me that LuLu could be a married name...
Here's a guy who changed his name from Antony Phillip Hicks to :
Antony Phillip Level Forty Two The Pursuit Of Accidents The Early Tapes Standing In The Light True Colours A Physical Presence World Machine Running In The Family Running In The Family Platinum Edition Staring At The Sun Level Best Guaranteed The Remixes Forever Now Influences Changes Mark King Mike Lindup Phil Gould Boon Gould Wally Badarou Lindup-Badarou
True Story.
What. An. Idiot.
You've got that right!!!
I can't imagine how all that would fit onto several lines of the Social Security Card... And Medicare, etc.
Love you, dear Sister!
We have a Quarterback with the Bills-Tyrod Taylor....I always wonder if he has siblings like Ball Joint, Idler Arm, Pitman arm and drag link.
Funny!!!
Don't you wonder sometimes?
I dated a young African-American lady for awhile whose name was Doris Jefferson and she hated it! She said it made her sound like she belonged in a sit-com! Then again I knew a Doctor in the Air Force whose last name was Doctor and a Dentist whose last name was Butcher. I didn't make fun of them because...well...they were officers...sooooo....besides Lt Col Butcher could have really done a number on my teeth!
LOL, Randy!
A friend of mine out in Colorado Springs (we went to a school at Keesler together 2 years ago). his first name is Major. I can imagine the fun he's had with that over the years.
That's a great combo name!!!