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What To Choose - A True Dilemma

  

Category:  The Lighter Side/ Humor

By:  kavika  •  6 years ago  •  107 comments

What To Choose - A True Dilemma

Having moved to Florida I found that a popular myth has been foisted on people...You are not issued a golf cart as part of being a Florida citizen. This came as a huge shock to me and resulted in going out and shopping for one. Which in turn called for me to spend money, something that I don't do well.

That said I had to decide what type of golf cart did I want. Plain and simple, custom, super custom or off the chart stupid. 

First there are those that are replica's of various famous autos. The 57 Chevy, the Corvette, the Rolls Royce. Another would be what I call the Salvador Dali collection. (you can't quite figure out what the hell it is)

Another grouping would be the limo group. Super long Golf carts that seat 10 or more. 

None of these appealed to me enough to spend the money on them. I was about to go with the ''Plain Jane'' golf cart when a great thought hit me. Having been a speed freak my whole life and also from the school of ''bigger is better'' and also the other school of ''if you need a fly swatter to kill it, use a cannon''. 

After much deliberation I decided to go all out and really set Florida on fire, or at least my ''hood''....Lot's of old folk that I could terrorize with the ''Beast''....Since many old folk can't see for shit I needed to go all out on the color, the brighter the better or I could go stealth. 

This could be more fun than playing bumper cars in the parking lot of the club house. (actually I watched a couple of old folks back into each other there.) the aftermath was hilarious, Dueling Cane's drew a huge audience of old farts. 

I have become not only the token Indian in Stone Creek, but I become known by the locals as ''The Wild One''...I think they were really thinking the ''Wild Indian'' but were being PC and afraid that I would run them down if they said that. 

After much shopping and haggling over price I went all out and had the ''Beast'' build and customized for me. 

This my friends is the Rezmogolfcart, sleek, fast, mean, powerful and just a whole hell of a lot of fun for someone with my disposition. Surly would be an upgrade per Red. 

253f003ccc72b10c79dee90ef1580bcc.jpg

On a side note the photo of the article image is a badger that the badger hunter (Wiki) brought home the other day. Very cool animals in Florida. 

 


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Kavika
Professor Principal
1  author  Kavika     6 years ago

Ya gotta luv it....Bad to the bone as George Thorogood would say or sing.

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
1.2  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Kavika @1    6 years ago

For some reason I can't open the photo of your chariot.  All I can see is this code:

253f003ccc72b10c79dee90ef1580bcc.jpg

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
1.2.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Buzz of the Orient @1.2    6 years ago

It's open now Buzz, right below your comment.

 
 
 
It Is ME
Masters Guide
3  It Is ME    6 years ago

Take a tour of "The Villages". They have "Carts" beyond the imagination. jrSmiley_15_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
3.1  author  Kavika   replied to  It Is ME @3    6 years ago
Take a tour of "The Villages". They have "Carts" beyond the imagination. 

Way, way too many old farts there..Besides my ''Beast'' would grind up their carts...jrSmiley_4_smiley_image.png

 
 
 
It Is ME
Masters Guide
3.1.1  It Is ME  replied to  Kavika @3.1    6 years ago
Way, way too many old farts there.

For sure, but they have some realy nice "Carts" to look at. They even have a "Cart" show now and again. I've been to that a couple times. A lot of the "Carts" are more expensive than my car. jrSmiley_30_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
4  Trout Giggles    6 years ago

Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers!

Wait....there's no badgers in Florida unless Wiki brought one with her.

I was going to suggest you go all out stupid with your golf cart. Congratulations on reading my mind!

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
4.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Trout Giggles @4    6 years ago
I was going to suggest you go all out stupid with your golf cart. Congratulations on reading my mind!

I'm thinking that was Arkansas humor...Good one, Trout. jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
lady in black
Professor Quiet
5  lady in black    6 years ago

Chubs the alligator on  The Myakka Pines Golf Club

maxresdefault.jpg

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  lady in black @5    6 years ago

Holy shit! I bet he eats 2 golfers a day!

 
 
 
321steve - realistically thinkin or Duu
Sophomore Participates
5.1.1  321steve - realistically thinkin or Duu   replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1    6 years ago
Holy shit! I bet he eats 2 golfers a day!

Only if they mistake him for a golf cart. Then SLAM ! Gachca !

 
 
 
lady in black
Professor Quiet
5.1.2  lady in black  replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1    6 years ago

Here's the latest video of Chubbs....

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.1.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  lady in black @5.1.2    6 years ago

I bet he gets to do whatever he wants.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.1.4  author  Kavika   replied to  Trout Giggles @5.1.3    6 years ago

Oh wow, talk about a hazard on the course...

Chubbs goes where ever he want's to go..

 
 
 
Sunshine
Professor Quiet
5.2  Sunshine  replied to  lady in black @5    6 years ago

Playing through? 

 
 
 
lady in black
Professor Quiet
5.2.1  lady in black  replied to  Sunshine @5.2    6 years ago

This happened in 2011......

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
5.2.2  author  Kavika   replied to  lady in black @5.2.1    6 years ago

WWF in action....

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
5.2.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  lady in black @5.2.1    6 years ago

But the guy getting  closer to video the fight? He could have ended up in the middle of a gator sammich

 
 
 
Sunshine
Professor Quiet
5.2.4  Sunshine  replied to  lady in black @5.2.1    6 years ago

Holy gator...wonder what that was all about? 

 
 
 
Galen Marvin Ross
Sophomore Participates
5.2.5  Galen Marvin Ross  replied to  Sunshine @5.2.4    6 years ago

Territory or, a female.

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
5.2.6  cjcold  replied to  Galen Marvin Ross @5.2.5    6 years ago

Been there, done that.

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
5.3  Krishna  replied to  lady in black @5    6 years ago
Chubs the alligator on The Myakka Pines Golf Club

OMG-- that is a YUGE one! Are you sure its an Alligator and not some sort of Dinosaur?

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
8  Perrie Halpern R.A.    6 years ago

You need an alligator cat!

 
 
 
Sparty On
Professor Principal
8.1  Sparty On  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @8    6 years ago

Lol ....  nice!

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
8.2  author  Kavika   replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @8    6 years ago

Remember the old saying ''a slow cat makes a good snack''.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
8.3  Trout Giggles  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @8    6 years ago

That is one fearsome cat!

 
 
 
dave-2693993
Junior Quiet
8.4  dave-2693993  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @8    6 years ago

LOL.

The Ausies had a small dog at a tourist attraction doing similar with the crocks, until one day...

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
8.4.1  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  dave-2693993 @8.4    6 years ago
until one day...

OUCH! Well so much for every dog having his day. 

 
 
 
Krishna
Professor Expert
8.5  Krishna  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @8    6 years ago

Amazing video!

But is Mugsy really a cat? I bet he's a Mongoose in disguise! (Mongooses kill Cobras)

 
 
 
pat wilson
Professor Participates
8.5.1  pat wilson  replied to  Krishna @8.5    6 years ago

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
8.5.2  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  Krishna @8.5    6 years ago

Here be the facts:

main-thumb-329169691-50-lbeilbgqkjzxiebrfchofinqseexcxov.jpeg
Virginia Smith , former Copy Editor, Scientific & Medical Publishing (Ret)

The following observations do not apply to all cats, of course, but guesswork in the kitty catnundrum is you can never be sure when they may suddenly access their inner NinjaCat.

Yes, cats intimidate by sheer chutzpah, as Sucheta Frankel succinctly puts it, but it’s not just empty bluff. Cats have more weapons than most animals, with fast reflexes and exceptional aim. Damage to nose or eyes and the predator’s hunting prowess is compromised, often followed by the germ warfare of feline WMD: a nasty infection.

main-qimg-ca08ab544c11200908871095004d7ca6

. Note that the cat has five assault weapons (teeth plus 4 dangerously clawed paws) while the dog has only its teeth.

Cats seem to deliberately exploit even their puny size: the mismatch between size and nerve violates all known fight rules. While the attacker is trying to figure out if it’s just a bluff, he’s suddenly struck in the face with a lightning fast strike/flurry of daggered paws to the accompaniment of that unearthly battle-scream waking the neighborhood four blocks around. Add to the din the victim’s own terrified yelp-howling and the result is an all-out assault on the senses that most aggressors solve by a rapid retreat.

And of course cats don’t win every time out, but then who does?

main-qimg-05ed61900bc496f489dab3a2794c94c2

North Attleboro Rabid Coyote Attack: Woman Bit; Animal Shot

Sure, they’re sweet adorable loving pets. Note the many stories and videos of cats protecting their friends and family from attackers of all types and sizes. In fact as hunter/killers they are all too efficient: house cats are one of the biggest threats birds face in the wild— they kill somewhere between 1.3 and 4 billion birds every year in the U.S.

Cats are mostly exactly that equation that always has its alternative version no matter which side you see at any given time:   Schrödinger's cat - Wikipedia .

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
8.5.3  sandy-2021492  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @8.5.2    6 years ago

We once lived in an apartment complex where our neighbors had the meanest cat alive.  It would come into our apartment, and then hiss and spit at us when we tried to get it to leave.  We had to don leather gloves and shoo it out with a broom.

The complex was surrounded by woods, and there was a lot of wildlife that visited.  Every night, deer, raccoons, or both came to eat from a birdfeeder than another neighbor had in a tree right in front of our apartment.  That cat would attack them - just run right in the middle of the herd of deer, or chase the raccoons up the tree.  Yowling and hissing the whole way, of course.  I don't know how she didn't get killed.  Sheer meanness, I guess.

 
 
 
sandy-2021492
Professor Expert
8.6  sandy-2021492  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @8    6 years ago

What does she have, like 300 lives?

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
Professor Expert
8.6.1  Perrie Halpern R.A.  replied to  sandy-2021492 @8.6    6 years ago
What does she have, like 300 lives?

Or one super hyped one. Wally is a lot like that.

320

He's such a killer. 

 
 
 
Sunshine
Professor Quiet
9  Sunshine    6 years ago

Do you golf?

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
9.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Sunshine @9    6 years ago

LMAO, Golf as a contact sport.

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
9.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Kavika @9.1    6 years ago

Mr Giggles constantly complains about the old farts on the course who won't let him and his buddies play thru. I remind him that some day he will be the old fart that won't let anybody play thru

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
9.1.3  author  Kavika   replied to  Release The Kraken @9.1.2    6 years ago

Golf is a very old sport for Indians. We've been playing it for centuries but it got boring so we started using bagamaagan and made it a contact sport...

This is a bagamaagan that we use...

321_2.jpg

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
9.1.4  Trout Giggles  replied to  Kavika @9.1.3    6 years ago

Hey! I wondered what happened to my hair!

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
9.1.7  Ender  replied to  Release The Kraken @9.1.2    6 years ago

I played once. Let's just say I became buddies with the woman that drove around with a beer cart.

After a while they wouldn't even let me drive the golf cart.

I was never invited back.

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
9.1.8  cjcold  replied to  Kavika @9.1    6 years ago

Talked once with a paramedic/security guard who worked on Caddy Shack. He said that the cast and crew would destroy/drown golf carts every night in a drunken death race that the mechanics had to rescue, dry out and fix the next morning. Amazingly nobody was seriously injured or died.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Participates
9.1.9  Raven Wing   replied to  Release The Kraken @9.1.5    6 years ago
Please tell me the Indians didn't start this fashion trend?

There is not a Cherokee around that would be caught dead in that kind of an outfit. 

There are no feathers anywhere. 

 
 
 
Buzz of the Orient
Professor Expert
9.1.10  Buzz of the Orient  replied to  Kavika @9.1.3    6 years ago

This photo opens, Kavika, and photos posted by Dave, Dalen Marvin Ross, steve, 1st Warrior, Raven Wing and BF all open for me, but your article photo does not open.  I wish I knew why some jpg photos open and some don't. Maybe on my comment above the photo opened on your computer, but it did not open on mine. 

 
 
 
Studiusbagus
Sophomore Quiet
9.1.11  Studiusbagus  replied to  Trout Giggles @9.1.4    6 years ago
Hey! I wondered what happened to my hair!

Me too! But that was 20 years ago.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
10  author  Kavika     6 years ago
Please tell me the Indians didn't start this fashion trend?

OMG, now that is ugly. We are much more fashion conscious and are considered to be on the cutting edge of fashion. 

 

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
10.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  Kavika @10    6 years ago

Mr Giggles bought pink shorts. And a yellow shirt.

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
10.1.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Trout Giggles @10.1    6 years ago

I knew that I liked Mr. Giggles...the Christian Dior of Arkansas.

I'll bet that MR. Giggles has plaid golf shirts as well...

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
Professor Principal
10.1.2  Trout Giggles  replied to  Kavika @10.1.1    6 years ago

Would you believe not one plaid golf shirt?

It's true

 
 
 
Ender
Professor Principal
11  Ender    6 years ago

Add a stereo system.

Roll around town blasting the theme to Caddyshack.

 
 
 
dave-2693993
Junior Quiet
11.1  dave-2693993  replied to  Ender @11    6 years ago

Heck, might as well add some of those spinner things too. LOL.

 
 
 
Freefaller
Professor Quiet
11.1.1  Freefaller  replied to  dave-2693993 @11.1    6 years ago

Maybe some undercarriage neon lighting too

 
 
 
Galen Marvin Ross
Sophomore Participates
12  Galen Marvin Ross    6 years ago

Yeah, I thought about buying a golf cart but, they wouldn't design one they way I wanted, I wanted one that looked and, worked like this,

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
12.1  cjcold  replied to  Galen Marvin Ross @12    6 years ago

So you're what happened to the putting green on my course!

 
 
 
Galen Marvin Ross
Sophomore Participates
12.1.1  Galen Marvin Ross  replied to  cjcold @12.1    6 years ago

I take the fifth,

320

 
 
 
cjcold
Professor Quiet
12.1.2  cjcold  replied to  Galen Marvin Ross @12.1.1    6 years ago

Marred a few greens taking the fifth myself.

 
 
 
Galen Marvin Ross
Sophomore Participates
12.1.3  Galen Marvin Ross  replied to  cjcold @12.1.2    6 years ago

jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Participates
13  Raven Wing     6 years ago

LOL!!! What a totally hilarious story and picture, Kavika. Like all your other great stories, another saver for me to re-read and enjoy over and over again. 

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
13.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Raven Wing @13    6 years ago

Thanks RW. I'm always up for an adventure...Happy that you enjoy them.

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Participates
13.1.1  Raven Wing   replied to  Kavika @13.1    6 years ago

I have saved a copy of your many wonderful stories over the years,s some from the time we were on NV, and from the time you first started this group. I totally enjoy reading them again and again. I also have copies saved of all the many wonderful stores that Dowser shared with us here in this group over the years. For me, they are all prized stories from you both that I will always treasure. (smile)

 
 
 
Raven Wing
Professor Participates
15  Raven Wing     6 years ago

Here's a picture of Great-Uncle Five Braids favorite Rez Mobile

384

 
 
 
Kavika
Professor Principal
15.1  author  Kavika   replied to  Raven Wing @15    6 years ago

Classic

 
 

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