Neanderthals Are Cropping Up Like Hairs On an Old Man's Nose, and, just as Disgusting!

  
By:  eat-the-press-do-not-read-it  •  4 months ago  •  46 comments

Neanderthals Are Cropping Up Like Hairs On an Old Man's Nose, and, just as Disgusting!
Neaderthals didn't go extinct, they just migrated to 'Merica and blended in with the local yokels. - Jonathan Livingston-Pigeon, "Doctored"

The history that we have been taught is all wrong! 

Anthropologists, and, other half-baked. East Coast-Pinko, swishy scientists have brainwashed us into believing  "Neanderthals died out about 100,000 years ago", plus, or, minus 100-300,000 years.196

Well, Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, CEO & FLOUNDER, of the Less Than Prestigious , Bird Droppings Institute - A Think Tank For Imbeciles, No Morons, Please, declare that "It ain't so" on Faux Fox Network Noise", with none other than Betty De Voss, Secretary of Education setting at his side.

I know because I can sew, too. I learned how to sew in Cemetary School working on cadavers with Judge Roy Moore.  Roy was so dumb, he thought he was in Seminary School. I wonder what ever happened to that idiot?

"If truth be known" , as we Neanderthal in Mildew, Ohio says, "Neanderthals simply migrated to America and blended in with the Right-Wing, Born-Upside Down and Backwards, Christian Re-Puritans, who were too, busy killing "Engines" to notice.

Christians are strange like that. They just love to kill folks they don't know! They've been doing it for 2000 years and have no plans on lettin' up.



Everyone that is anyone, in the Conservative-Christian community, knows instinctively, without ever crackin' open Darwin's filthy, porno book, The Tyranny of Evolution, that Christians know everything that is known about everything, because they have a direct line of communication to the "Blue-eyed Baby Jesus", who tells them all things, while they sleep.

You see, friends, seekers and social misfits that old goat, Darwin, was a FRAUD, a CON MAN, addicted to selling Scientific Junk to liberal, pinko-Commies from those East Coast Ivy League Colleges like Harvard, Yale, and. the subversive of all subversives, The Mickey Mouse Club . Who would believe that mice can sing and dance?  Dance maybe, but, sing, no way, Jose. You're not Mexican, are ya?

"Men came from Monkeys"?  Why that is Hogwash! If men came from monkeys,
"Well, then, where did women come from?"

"Venus?"

Everyone that is anyone knows that men came from Mars! 

That kind of "loose-lip talk that sinks ships", and, is just downright "stupid science". I should know. I invented S T U P I D.

The "MONKEY folks", will be telling us that "Trump, our POS in the WH, evolved from Orange Baboons".Now that ain't right in the head.  

"Taint
so", Dumbo.

Every Christian,  every Chartered School graduate knows that the "first man came from Adam's rib", Barbeque Place, on East 7th Ave, in the East Village, where all the happy folks live. You get my drift. It's in the Bible, somewhere.

196

 We, at the Bird Dropping Institute, A Think Tank For Morons - No Idiot, Please , have recently employed our own researcher, Steve Bunnion, a former Whitehouse Senior Aide to President DUMBO.

Our Human Resource team found, Steve, face up and drunk, in the Lincoln Memorial, quivering and crying like a jilted 13 Lesbian girl, after he was unceremoniously kicked out of the WH for "upstaging the Chief Executive-In-Bluste r", T-Rex! 

That is a "No, No", DimWit. Even I know that!

It is a well-known rule in Washington, D.C, circles, that in the Trump Whitehouse, "All camera time is Trump time, 24/7/365."

"The Donald" loves to hog the spotlight.

How else is a FAKE POTUS, REAL POS, going to keep his staff under his thumb?

"The Donald" is an expert, too, on Hitler's approach to Management Thru Fear .  Trump learned from Goebbels the power of "misinformation", "Fake News", and, the benefits of smearing the real media, by calling  "The Enemy of the State".  Trump, the "Stable Genius" was able to glean all of his knowledge about "controlling a crowd" by reading the book's cover jacket.

Trump is, as many of you know, a ranter, not a "Rapper", but, he could be if he wanted to because he can do anything he wants to do. He is a Stable Genius.

His successful "Rallies-In-Allies " are built on "screaming and finger-pointing"?

These are the Commander in Sniffing's basic principles, espoused, too, by the new Re-Puritans party of Christian Hypocrites and Dunces in Congress! They were taught these sacred methods by a Jewish Cart Salesman on the Sermon on the Mount, by, none other than, "The White-Blue-Eyed, Blond Hair Jesus".

So, you see, don't ya, that Darwin's Theory of Evolution is nothing more than "Junk, Voodoo".  Darwin, according to Steve Bunions, was nothin' but a "Socialist", like Bernie Sanders (who himself, migrated to 'Merica from Norway because they were out of that "Free Gumint Cheese".

It was rumored that "The Burnt Out Man", as he was called back in the day, 1066, was scheduled to be burned at the stakes for his unkempt hair, lack of a beard, and, constant "complaining".

196
In conclusion, "Let Me Say This About Dat", as President Nixon used to say before he was forced out of the office for "Cryin' & Mist-de-Mean-ers".

The Science community, of overly educated dolts, don't know "crap"! They just make "Crap" up, like the so-called, "Moon Landing", or, "Car-Pooling" or "Global Warming", to terrorize the little-folks who can't read. 

It is "nothing, but, more liberal lies", in order to sell "Global Warming" T-Shirts to "Liberal Marroons"! 

If the globe is warming, how come it's cold in the Winter, huh?

I know crap. I can see, smell, even taste it.

Before I converted to Conservativism I was a "Crap Salesman", like "the Donald".

My whole existence was based on crap. In fact, at one time in my life, I was known as "The Best Crap salesman in the Midwest", until that damnable fairy, from Indiana, "Miss Mike Pence", emerged from the shadows and devoured all of my samples.

"Without samples, what is a man"?

Without samples, I was out of business, so, I turned to politics. I lick it better! 

Chapter III (There is No Chapter II. It was offensive. - The Editor)

Back in the day, selling crap door to door is how I put myself through Cemetry school.

All my life, ever since I was a little nine-year boy, washing my Preacher man's Cadillac, every Sunday morning before church, I wanted to be a "Preacher man!"

They made the "good money", lots of it, not like coal miners, and lumberjacks who worked sun up to sun down for peanuts from the Circus man.

I figured I could talk, lie, and, con people out of their "hard earned money" without blinking an eye.

And, that is just what I did, and, still, do. It the Christian way!  It's in the Bible, somewhere, under the story called, "Jesus Drove a Cadillac & You Could, Too", written by Brother Judas, who lived 700 years like Jonas Whales.

So, I enrolled in Cemetry School , and, like Trump, I was in the top of my class, just by telling folks that I was. Is that a lie?

Then, one sad, fateful day, my closeted friend, Roy Moore, the now notorious, disgraced Georgia judge, took me aside on that warm Spring morning, kissed me hard on the mouth and said, "I have got some Hard News fer ya".

He went on to explain to me that I have made some mistakes in my life and he was going to fix them! "I am not gay".

"No, Siree, Bob, Closeted Man. I am a Sexual Predator that likes 14-year-old girls with "big 'em".

The cigar smokin' Judge, kindly explained to me, by shouting into my good ear, that I was enrolled in "Cemetery" School, not, "Seminary" School.

I could bury people, but not wed them. What a blow that was!

I cried the tears of a "closeted man", but, then I found the courage to tell Roy Moore to "stop blowing smoke up me AZZ"!  

"Hell", I said, "the damn foldin' money is in the weddin' business when folks are foolishly happy, Snappy. Not the dead business, when they have done blown all of their hard earned money on Moonshine and Whores."

So, I dropped out, then, and, there, and, low and behold, I found my "Preacher's License" in a box of "Christian Craker's Cereal For Nuts".

"God is Good", I declared, and the cereal ain't half bad, neither."

It was a "win-win" for Gerald Ford, and me, on that very dark day, when President Nixon resigned. 

Well, to sum up, I just wanted to say that "what we were taught in school ain't necessarily so".

It is mostly just a load of CRAP. And, I know crap. Am I right? I was a crap salesman, just like our president, now, oh, what's his name?

Give me a shout out, an "Amen, Brother Ben"! if you agree, otherwise, jes STFU!


End of my Lecture on "The Lies That We Have Been Taught"!

To the Administrators:

Why is this much-needed Epistle "LOCKED"?

It didn't do nothin' to nobodies . Who has that kind of anonymous editorial power to "LOCK"; censure articles?

I write by first throwing all of me "Bull Chips" up, all at once; like retching after an "all night drunk".  Then, after I sober up, I go back and edited it. I edited it. Please, take another look and "UNLOCK" this, my masterpiece, my child. Do not leave it locked in an iron cage. 


Or, have the Re-Puritans, led by the Koch-Roach Brothers, invaded The News Talkers.com, and, now, they, too, are ruining things, like they are doing in CONGRESS? 128

Tags

jrDiscussion - desc
smarty_function_ntUser_is_admin: user_id parameter required
Find text within the comments Find 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 months ago

Author's Note:

I trust that this expose will not offend anyone's sensibility. If it does, then, I have done my job. We may not all agree, but, it is still our right to be obnoxious.

After all, is there anything more obnoxious than TRUMP?

 
 
 
Greg Jones
1.1  Greg Jones  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @1    4 months ago

If you're intending to antagonize, it's not working.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
1.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Greg Jones @1.1    4 months ago

No, not antagonize that is what Trump constantly does. As an "Unemployed Philosopher", my mission is to "ed-u-ma-kate" folks.

Is you be ed-u-ma-kate-ed, now, thanks to my illuminations?

 
 
 
bugsy
1.1.2  bugsy  replied to  Greg Jones @1.1    4 months ago
If you're intending to antagonize, it's not working.

Yea...it's stupid, but...meh...who cares.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
2  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 months ago

This Epistle was "fact checked", and, true to form, all the "facts" were deleted!

196

 
 
 
It Is ME
2.1  It Is ME  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @2    4 months ago
all the "facts" were deleted!

Sounds like the "Norm" these days ! jrSmiley_100_smiley_image.jpg

 
 
 
r.t..b...
2.1.1  r.t..b...  replied to  It Is ME @2.1    4 months ago
"Norm"

Ah...you remember. Cheers!

 
 
 
It Is ME
2.1.2  It Is ME  replied to  r.t..b... @2.1.1    4 months ago

You are ….… NORM ?

A bit "Pretentious" ….. ain't we ?

 
 
 
r.t..b...
2.1.3  r.t..b...  replied to  It Is ME @2.1.2    4 months ago
A bit "Pretentious" ….. ain't we ?

An adequate assessment. Though no apologies for at least being adequate.

 
 
 
It Is ME
2.1.4  It Is ME  replied to  r.t..b... @2.1.3    4 months ago
An adequate assessment.

"Adequate" ….. such a lazy word.

 
 
 
r.t..b...
2.1.5  r.t..b...  replied to  It Is ME @2.1.4    4 months ago
….. such a lazy word.

...words are never lazy, ME...but can be implemented in an attempt to provoke...so I am guilty as charged. Have yourself a fulfilling day and sleep well knowing no one can blur a discussion quite like you. 

 
 
 
It Is ME
2.1.6  It Is ME  replied to  r.t..b... @2.1.5    4 months ago
words are never lazy

Sure they can be.

To be "Adequate."...is to "Settle".... as "Settle" is to "lazy".

"To be...or not to be"...

The easiest question on the planet to answer !

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
2.1.7  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  r.t..b... @2.1.1    4 months ago
 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
2.1.8  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  It Is ME @2.1.6    4 months ago

Indeed, make perfect sense to me, after all, I was tied to my bed at the Dick Cheney Nursing Home for Wayward Republicans and watered boarded daily.

Now, I love waterboarding and I am working on getting into the Olympics. Won't you join me in my Life Time endeavor?

We need sensible people, 'cause we ain't got any!

 
 
 
It Is ME
2.1.9  It Is ME  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @2.1.8    4 months ago
I was tied to my bed at the Dick Cheney Nursing Home for Wayward Republicans and watered boarded daily.

For some....that's the ONLY time they get a bath. 

Whew....there are some stinkers out there for sure. jrSmiley_9_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
2.1.10  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  It Is ME @2.1.9    4 months ago

I haven't thought of it in that light. Perhaps, they were "bathing" me and not trying to convert me back into the party of Corporate Thieves?


 
 
 
It Is ME
2.1.11  It Is ME  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @2.1.10    4 months ago

The Truth and Nothing but the Truth will set you "FREE" !

Maybe.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
2.1.12  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  It Is ME @2.1.11    4 months ago

Ask, some of your relatives on "Death Row", as, I did. They think that parable sucks.

So do I. (I don't mean that I suck. I mean I agree with my relatives!)

Trump sucks, not I!

 
 
 
It Is ME
2.1.13  It Is ME  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @2.1.12    4 months ago
Ask, some of your relatives on "Death Row", as, I did.

I guess I just have that "Good 'Ol Family. No "Feeders" using long sticks required.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
2.1.14  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  It Is ME @2.1.13    4 months ago

Exactly, in my family, we, too, had to use the "long sticks" to feed the family Elders. If you got to close they would rip your arm off and eat it.

That kind of a family upbringing leaves a stain on one that a Tide Pen will not take out.  Believe me, I have tried. Went threw a truckload of those little things, and, still, I am spotty.


 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 months ago

For "Urinalist" which is what we are, it is required! Cleanse the body politics. BTW:  Have you had your Trump Today?

 
 
 
It Is ME
3.1  It Is ME  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @3    4 months ago
Have you had your Trump Today?

I will this June anyway. jrSmiley_10_smiley_image.gif

CHEERS ! jrSmiley_13_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
3.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  It Is ME @3.1    4 months ago

The Center for Disease Control (CDC), or, someone with similar initials, sent me a telepathic message and asked me to pass it on to my readers, instead of all that gas.

"Start your day refresh with a Trump Dump! Don't forget to wipe your PENCE, that thing is more toxic than your Trump Dump"!

 
 
 
It Is ME
3.1.2  It Is ME  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @3.1.1    4 months ago

LOL !

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
3.1.3  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  It Is ME @3.1.2    4 months ago

No, you didn't! No one does that. At my lecture, it is so quiet that one can hear a mouse fart, or, lots of them. We speak at Holy places.

 
 
 
It Is ME
3.1.4  It Is ME  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @3.1.3    4 months ago
No, you didn't!

Oh ….. I do !

Ya just gotta trust me on that one. 

I've seen many eye colors over my lifetime. 

Me being at James Bond movies seems to be an unpopular thing. 

 
 
 
KDMichigan
3.1.5  KDMichigan  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @3.1.1    4 months ago
"Start your day refresh with a Trump Dump! Don't forget to wipe your PENCE, that thing is more toxic than your Trump Dump"!

How cute, you took a prepubescent saying and put Trump and Pence's name in it. That is so original. I'm sure it will get you oodles of thumbs up.

 
 
 
JBB
3.1.6  JBB  replied to  KDMichigan @3.1.5    4 months ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
Texan1211
3.1.7  Texan1211  replied to  JBB @3.1.6    4 months ago

[deleted]

 
 
 
KDMichigan
3.1.8  KDMichigan  replied to  JBB @3.1.6    4 months ago

[deleted]

[comments about other members are always off topic]

 
 
 
nightwalker
3.1.9  nightwalker  replied to  KDMichigan @3.1.5    4 months ago

So what's the difference from the responses from any other article on NT?

Ahhh, I see, he's stealing that type of response from some of the extreme right.

SHAME ON HIM!!!

jrSmiley_2_smiley_image.png

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
3.1.10  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  It Is ME @3.1.4    4 months ago

I could see that. Some of us stick out in a crowd.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
3.1.11  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JBB @3.1.6    4 months ago

So what if it is "Off Topic".

I defy anyone to tell me what topic we are talking about. I sure as Hell do not know.

JBB is that "power to judge going to your head"?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
3.1.12  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  KDMichigan @3.1.8    4 months ago

I go to considerable effort to write me EPISTLES "off topic". I am the last person in the entire Universe that once to know what I am talking about.

Logic is the bane of all of us!

 
 
 
bbl-1
4  bbl-1    4 months ago

Although I detected a degree of bias in this article I was left with wondering on one particular and somewhat distressing observation.  Was Melania, Ivanka, Sanders or Miller given the task of pre-scrubbing the 'skid mark' on the pants?

 
 
 
nightwalker
4.1  nightwalker  replied to  bbl-1 @4    4 months ago

Naw, the WH still has a number of illegal aliens who are awaiting deportation (until 2020, because they need somebody to do duty duty for trump) and to clean up other disgusting messes in the WH. After all, trump uses the bathrooms to post tweets from, but he considers the rest of the free world as his toilet, so he just lets it fall where it may.

OMG, someone better warn England!

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
5  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 months ago

That is everyone in the WH's job. Starting with Pence, who like to use his tongue.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
6  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 months ago

Pence always leave "skip marks". It's his signature, so I am told by people. The same "people" who tell Trump everything.  I, too, hear voices, as a telepathic.196 Do you?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
7  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 months ago

Say, what the Hades is the difference between Blog and Article. There are in different locations and do not seem to communicate with each other?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
7.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  Eat The Press Do Not Read It @7    4 months ago

That should read, ". . . WTF is the difference between posting on a BLOG, or, crafting an opus as a pseudo ARTICLE?"

The follow-up sentence should read, "They are . . ."!  I suspect it is the Russians, again, "messing with my mind". I am not that dumb, am I?

 
 
 
FLYNAVY1
8  FLYNAVY1    4 months ago

Very nicely done!

It would seem you have made an art form out of comforting the afflicted, and afflicting the comfortable.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
8.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  FLYNAVY1 @8    4 months ago

Thank you, I shall now use that, if you have no objection, in my header, "An Art Form Comforting the Afflicted and Afflicting the Comfortable".

Sounds "noble".

BTW: What do you think about the Navy Pilots that are coming forward with evidence of their sighting of UFOs?


 
 
 
nightwalker
9  nightwalker    4 months ago

That header pic... I declare myself a anthropologist, and can say that those two apes are one-half step above chimps.

That was a nasty thing to say about Neanderthals.

 
 
 
JBB
9.1  JBB  replied to  nightwalker @9    4 months ago

Yeah, what did Neanderthals ever do to deserve being compared with... the Irish?

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
9.1.1  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It  replied to  JBB @9.1    4 months ago

Ouch! Have you driven through Alabama lately? They are on display everywhere, especially in public life.

 
 
 
Eat The Press Do Not Read It
10  author  Eat The Press Do Not Read It    4 months ago

A plead to "ADMINISTRATORS", please, do not block or restrict anyone's comment. I am a big girl/guy/transgender/deadbeat/liberal and can take it.

Anger is best vented in print, not in person. That is a "no-no".

Sincerely,

The Author - whoever the Hell he is!

 
 
Loading...
Loading...

Who is online




bccrane
Tacos!
KDMichigan
Sunshine
lady in black
pat wilson
livefreeordie
Sparty On
Snuffy
Old Hermit


Ronin2
Dulay


50 visitors