Neanderthals Are Cropping Up Like Hairs On an Old Man's Nose, and, just as Disgusting!
Category: News & PoliticsBy: eat-the-press-do-not-read-it • last year • 46 comments
The history that we have been taught is all wrong!
Anthropologists, and, other half-baked. East Coast-Pinko, swishy scientists have brainwashed us into believing "Neanderthals died out about 100,000 years ago", plus, or, minus 100-300,000 years.
Well, Jonathan Livingston Pigeon-Poo, CEO & FLOUNDER, of the Less Than Prestigious , Bird Droppings Institute - A Think Tank For Imbeciles, No Morons, Please, declare that "It ain't so" on Faux Fox Network Noise", with none other than Betty De Voss, Secretary of Education setting at his side.
I know because I can sew, too. I learned how to sew in Cemetary School working on cadavers with Judge Roy Moore. Roy was so dumb, he thought he was in Seminary School. I wonder what ever happened to that idiot?
"If truth be known" , as we Neanderthal in Mildew, Ohio says, "Neanderthals simply migrated to America and blended in with the Right-Wing, Born-Upside Down and Backwards, Christian Re-Puritans, who were too, busy killing "Engines" to notice.
Christians are strange like that. They just love to kill folks they don't know! They've been doing it for 2000 years and have no plans on lettin' up.
Everyone that is anyone, in the Conservative-Christian community, knows instinctively, without ever crackin' open Darwin's filthy, porno book, The Tyranny of Evolution, that Christians know everything that is known about everything, because they have a direct line of communication to the "Blue-eyed Baby Jesus", who tells them all things, while they sleep.
You see, friends, seekers and social misfits that old goat, Darwin, was a FRAUD, a CON MAN, addicted to selling Scientific Junk to liberal, pinko-Commies from those East Coast Ivy League Colleges like Harvard, Yale, and. the subversive of all subversives, The Mickey Mouse Club . Who would believe that mice can sing and dance? Dance maybe, but, sing, no way, Jose. You're not Mexican, are ya?
"Men came from Monkeys"? Why that is Hogwash! If men came from monkeys,
"Well, then, where did women come from?"
Everyone that is anyone knows that men came from Mars!
That kind of "loose-lip talk that sinks ships", and, is just downright "stupid science". I should know. I invented S T U P I D.
The "MONKEY folks", will be telling us that "Trump, our POS in the WH, evolved from Orange Baboons".Now that ain't right in the head.
"Taint so", Dumbo.
Every Christian, every Chartered School graduate knows that the "first man came from Adam's rib", Barbeque Place, on East 7th Ave, in the East Village, where all the happy folks live. You get my drift. It's in the Bible, somewhere.
We, at the Bird Dropping Institute, A Think Tank For Morons - No Idiot, Please , have recently employed our own researcher, Steve Bunnion, a former Whitehouse Senior Aide to President DUMBO.
Our Human Resource team found, Steve, face up and drunk, in the Lincoln Memorial, quivering and crying like a jilted 13 Lesbian girl, after he was unceremoniously kicked out of the WH for "upstaging the Chief Executive-In-Bluste r", T-Rex!
That is a "No, No", DimWit. Even I know that!
It is a well-known rule in Washington, D.C, circles, that in the Trump Whitehouse, "All camera time is Trump time, 24/7/365."
"The Donald" loves to hog the spotlight.
How else is a FAKE POTUS, REAL POS, going to keep his staff under his thumb?
"The Donald" is an expert, too, on Hitler's approach to Management Thru Fear . Trump learned from Goebbels the power of "misinformation", "Fake News", and, the benefits of smearing the real media, by calling "The Enemy of the State". Trump, the "Stable Genius" was able to glean all of his knowledge about "controlling a crowd" by reading the book's cover jacket.
Trump is, as many of you know, a ranter, not a "Rapper", but, he could be if he wanted to because he can do anything he wants to do. He is a Stable Genius.
His successful "Rallies-In-Allies " are built on "screaming and finger-pointing"?
These are the Commander in Sniffing's basic principles, espoused, too, by the new Re-Puritans party of Christian Hypocrites and Dunces in Congress! They were taught these sacred methods by a Jewish Cart Salesman on the Sermon on the Mount, by, none other than, "The White-Blue-Eyed, Blond Hair Jesus".
So, you see, don't ya, that Darwin's Theory of Evolution is nothing more than "Junk, Voodoo". Darwin, according to Steve Bunions, was nothin' but a "Socialist", like Bernie Sanders (who himself, migrated to 'Merica from Norway because they were out of that "Free Gumint Cheese".
It was rumored that "The Burnt Out Man", as he was called back in the day, 1066, was scheduled to be burned at the stakes for his unkempt hair, lack of a beard, and, constant "complaining".
In conclusion, "Let Me Say This About Dat", as President Nixon used to say before he was forced out of the office for "Cryin' & Mist-de-Mean-ers".
The Science community, of overly educated dolts, don't know "crap"! They just make "Crap" up, like the so-called, "Moon Landing", or, "Car-Pooling" or "Global Warming", to terrorize the little-folks who can't read.
It is "nothing, but, more liberal lies", in order to sell "Global Warming" T-Shirts to "Liberal Marroons"!
If the globe is warming, how come it's cold in the Winter, huh?
I know crap. I can see, smell, even taste it.
Before I converted to Conservativism I was a "Crap Salesman", like "the Donald".
My whole existence was based on crap. In fact, at one time in my life, I was known as "The Best Crap salesman in the Midwest", until that damnable fairy, from Indiana, "Miss Mike Pence", emerged from the shadows and devoured all of my samples.
"Without samples, what is a man"?
Without samples, I was out of business, so, I turned to politics. I lick it better!
Chapter III (There is No Chapter II. It was offensive. - The Editor)
Back in the day, selling crap door to door is how I put myself through Cemetry school.
All my life, ever since I was a little nine-year boy, washing my Preacher man's Cadillac, every Sunday morning before church, I wanted to be a "Preacher man!"
They made the "good money", lots of it, not like coal miners, and lumberjacks who worked sun up to sun down for peanuts from the Circus man.
I figured I could talk, lie, and, con people out of their "hard earned money" without blinking an eye.
And, that is just what I did, and, still, do. It the Christian way! It's in the Bible, somewhere, under the story called, "Jesus Drove a Cadillac & You Could, Too", written by Brother Judas, who lived 700 years like Jonas Whales.
So, I enrolled in Cemetry School , and, like Trump, I was in the top of my class, just by telling folks that I was. Is that a lie?
Then, one sad, fateful day, my closeted friend, Roy Moore, the now notorious, disgraced Georgia judge, took me aside on that warm Spring morning, kissed me hard on the mouth and said, "I have got some Hard News fer ya".
He went on to explain to me that I have made some mistakes in my life and he was going to fix them! "I am not gay".
"No, Siree, Bob, Closeted Man. I am a Sexual Predator that likes 14-year-old girls with "big 'em".
The cigar smokin' Judge, kindly explained to me, by shouting into my good ear, that I was enrolled in "Cemetery" School, not, "Seminary" School.
I could bury people, but not wed them. What a blow that was!
I cried the tears of a "closeted man", but, then I found the courage to tell Roy Moore to "stop blowing smoke up me AZZ"!
"Hell", I said, "the damn foldin' money is in the weddin' business when folks are foolishly happy, Snappy. Not the dead business, when they have done blown all of their hard earned money on Moonshine and Whores."
So, I dropped out, then, and, there, and, low and behold, I found my "Preacher's License" in a box of "Christian Craker's Cereal For Nuts".
"God is Good", I declared, and the cereal ain't half bad, neither."
It was a "win-win" for Gerald Ford, and me, on that very dark day, when President Nixon resigned.
Well, to sum up, I just wanted to say that "what we were taught in school ain't necessarily so".
It is mostly just a load of CRAP. And, I know crap. Am I right? I was a crap salesman, just like our president, now, oh, what's his name?
Give me a shout out, an "Amen, Brother Ben"! if you agree, otherwise, jes STFU!
End of my Lecture on "The Lies That We Have Been Taught"!
To the Administrators:
Why is this much-needed Epistle "LOCKED"?
It didn't do nothin' to nobodies . Who has that kind of anonymous editorial power to "LOCK"; censure articles?
I write by first throwing all of me "Bull Chips" up, all at once; like retching after an "all night drunk". Then, after I sober up, I go back and edited it. I edited it. Please, take another look and "UNLOCK" this, my masterpiece, my child. Do not leave it locked in an iron cage.
Or, have the Re-Puritans, led by the Koch-Roach Brothers, invaded The News Talkers.com, and, now, they, too, are ruining things, like they are doing in CONGRESS?
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