Am I too sensitive?
I have a question to ask and please be honest. If I am Wrong say so..
I just moved into my house a week ago. I have boxes all over and things all over the place. My sister in law wanted to come over with her boyfriend and 2 other people to see the house inside and out. I was really not ready to have anyone over yet. Her by herself would have been okay, I just did not want anyone over yet. My husband called and said they want to see it. So they came over, I was not happy, but I put a welcome smile on my face. I think my sister in law knew that I would not be too happy, but she forced her way over anyway.
I am a little mad.
Was I wrong for feeling this way?
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JMO, sometimes folks are on your side, sometimes not and sometimes indifferent with a lot of grey area in between.
Again, jmo, put the important things in higher priority, put the less important things lower down.
BTW, good to see you back.
I am, kind of, with you on this but it is his home too. If it was just his sister...
Moving is an exhausting emotional experience. Let it go. Let it go. Let it go.
They were probably being nosey
Asking them to help move things might have made you feel better about the early visit
Agree. Either they would have happily pitched in to help or cut their visit short. Either way, it would have worked out best for Kathleen.
As for continuing to be angry......by the time Kathleen finishes unloading all the boxes and re-arranging everything she will have no time or energy to spend on being angry over such insensitive people.
Kathleen, just be happy and enjoy your new home. Your life is what you make it. (smile)
Yep. Hand them a roll of shelf paper and scissors and get them started with the kitchen cabinets.
Kathleen, it sounds like you need a spa day on your sister in laws dime...
Great idea actually, put them to work!
Absolutely put them to work. In fact warn them when they call and tell them "I'm so happy you called to help. There are a lot of heavy boxes and furniture to move around, floor and window cleaning, silver to polish, grass to cut, and I really appreciate your wanting to come over and help me with all those things. Make sure you're wearing clothes you don't mind getting dirty, and can you come soon because it's pretty messy now - all of this is just too much for me. " If they say, well we just wanted to come for a minute to see, then you need to get up the nerve to say "I would rather you waited until the place was not such a mess, and without your help it will take me a while to get the place cleaned up and organized." i.e. make them feel guilty!!!
Great idea and a good way to get them to beg off and not come over. If they are willing to help, their intentions are likely sincere on wanting to come over.
No, you were not wrong and they were being rude.
You should have said, "Hey now that you are over, wanna help move a few things and unpack?
You beat me to it!
I wouldn't care, but I would want my husband to understand if I did. Moving is exhausting and if you are not ready for guest they should respect that and come when invited.
Maybe just your sister-in-law like you said but others should wait.
Consider it this way: 'hubby' had his reasons for wanting it to happen. Maybe it is a timing issue with this 'party'?
You did good with your 'welcome smile.' Leave 'em guessing if you were cross inside!
Now that it is over and done with >> back to business! Those boxes better not be down and around another month from now! (Smile.)
One more thing: never trust strangers and family friends with your 'intimate' or personal possessions, because if something is damaged or taken. Resentment builds.
Yes you are too sensitive
Ya shoulda happily welcomed all of them over, greeted them at the door with a box to be unpacked for each and set them to work either till they left or all boxes were unpacked, either way it's a win-win
BTW holding on to anger is both useless and stupid (and a bunch of other negative adjectives)
Don't second guess yourself Kathleen, just be you.
I always end up having to help people move so I end up seeing the place anyway.
Not kidding either. Every frickin time.
As far as my own house, I wouldn't care. Bring me a bottle of wine and/or a twelve pack of Corona and I would be good.
And pizza!
No, you aren’t wrong. By definition guests are invited. They should have been understanding and patient until such time as you were ready to invite them over.
'Mister' used one of his favors. . . .
Not sure this is a question of right vs. wrong. You have your standards and they were compromised.
That said, I suspect anyone seeing a house after a couple just moved expect to see things in a mess and would not take that as a reflection of your standards.
Am I too sensitive?
No not at all.
Everyone is different and some of us require a bit of settling in time going into a new home prior to having visitors of any sort. It was a simple request and should have been honored, the fault is theirs not yours.
What time should I be there for supper:)
Glad to see you back Kath!!!!
NO, you are not wrong in your feelings! I would have felt the same way. My family wanted to come see our new house when we bought it 14 yrs ago. My momma loves it, my step father picked it apart telling me things that needed to be repaired and what isn't/wasn't up to code (it passed inspection), my step sister asked what the mortgage payment was (rude) and when I ballparked it, she said "Oh, my husband would kill me!". For what????? I knew at the closing table what our payment was. They proceeded to go through room by room telling me everything that was wrong...."oh, these rooms are too small", "closet shouldn't be placed there", "what are your plans for the extra living space downstairs? Carpet down there is a bad decision." My momma though was happy as can be for us, even came over a few weeks later to help me paint and decorate the girls rooms.
Seriously, WTH is wrong with people??? Nosey? Jealousy? IDK