FOOD FIGHT!

  
By:  citizen-kane-473667  •  5 months ago  •  44 comments

FOOD FIGHT!
Lettuce have some pun!

Okay, I'm tired of all the hash slinging on the Politics and News page so I thought this would be a fun little contest. The rules are simple:

  1. Your pun MUST NOT be about Politics or Politicians. They aren't very punny anyway!
  2. FOOD and DRINK will get special merit because they can be so much harder to work in to a pun. It's hard so, butter nut squash the attempts even if they aren't all that great!
  3. If it makes you groan, its probably a terrible pun, but even those can be fun! It's not like we are getting paid a celery for our work here!
  4. While banana's have a lot of a peel, let's try to avoid the slippery slope they cause by getting hung up on one fruit. Or  vegantable.
  5. We'll let the crowd decide who gets their just desserts by giving Votes Up. Think of it as Thanks Giving for their efforts!

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Citizen Kane-473667
2  author  Citizen Kane-473667    5 months ago

My wife wanted a big ring for our wedding so I got her this one:

5_carrot_ring_by_seaofcreations.png

 
 
 
pat wilson
2.1  pat wilson  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @2    5 months ago

5 carrots, wow !

 
 
 
Trout Giggles
2.1.1  Trout Giggles  replied to  pat wilson @2.1    5 months ago

with emeralds!

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
2.1.2  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Trout Giggles @2.1.1    5 months ago

Sounds kind of Lagasse

 
 
 
nightwalker
2.2  nightwalker  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @2    5 months ago

OMG a vegan throwing star!!

BOY them ninja are tricky!

 
 
 
nightwalker
2.2.1  nightwalker  replied to  nightwalker @2.2    5 months ago

256

A vegan extremist..

Who knew?

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
2.2.2  igknorantzrulz  replied to  nightwalker @2.2.1    5 months ago

looks like a used spoiling toupee

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
3  author  Citizen Kane-473667    5 months ago

Last night my son asked what was for dinner. I told him "Go Fish".

 
 
 
Donald J. Trump fan 1
3.1  Donald J. Trump fan 1  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @3    5 months ago

During the Cold War the Soviet Union tried to gobble up Turkey 🦃  🇹🇷 Greece 🇬🇷(grease)

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
 
 
Donald J. Trump fan 1
3.1.2  Donald J. Trump fan 1  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @3.1.1    5 months ago

As a Californian, I hope so!  

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
3.1.3  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Donald J. Trump fan 1 @3.1.2    5 months ago

Want me to send you some Cali-flower???

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
3.1.4  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Donald J. Trump fan 1 @3.1.2    5 months ago

Do you want some cheese on your Cali-flower?

 
 
 
Perrie Halpern R.A.
4  Perrie Halpern R.A.    5 months ago

It was an emotional wedding.

Even the cake was in tiers. 

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
4.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Perrie Halpern R.A. @4    5 months ago

Yeah, but no one was wining about it,

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
5  author  Citizen Kane-473667    5 months ago

Scrambled eggs look like a bunch of mixed up kids to me...

 
 
 
The People's Fish
5.1  The People's Fish  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @5    5 months ago

Those are my huevos.

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
5.1.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  The People's Fish @5.1    5 months ago

Gesundheit!

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
6  igknorantzrulz    5 months ago

watts a pun, ?

Enlightenmeant for a properly ground faulted nun, whose flying aspirations were swallowed up, hole, buy A doe nut, sole low under a buck, with a nice rack hanging like a pear of orange ewe glad i wasn't eye in apples in a round about pie eyed fruity weigh stationed in a circular disco that served duck in a mobile home parked in a Field for Salley to land. Land she did, in lakes of buttered Korn , bred from aMazingly husky Indians meating with Army kernels, stalked like celery buy the tribe, sold by the stalk, smelling like Roses' freshly D Livered with unappealing layers of onions, with all bean mushed and mashed into a small room without a view on how to get that nun airborne for the 82nd time. They tried Smokey signals but the Bandit had vaporized. No one found Glea, not even his son.

N then,there again, their was

Nun,   in a field ,

where she tripped

n went flying head over h eels all electrifried deep into space, her final frontier.

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
6.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  igknorantzrulz @6    5 months ago

I herd her fall was broken, but the saddle hurt like hell!

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
6.1.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @6.1    5 months ago
herd her fall was broken

she got re enriched that Winner, as she would Spring back after taking that Fall, off of that saddle, butt, woodn't ewe, asz some, herr

included , learned that if seasoned properly, A

"Torrid Autumn" could be avoided.

 
 
 
pat wilson
7  pat wilson    5 months ago

Hope this isn't political but I hope for whirled peas.

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
7.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  pat wilson @7    5 months ago

Peas be unto you!

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
8  igknorantzrulz    5 months ago

So far HA and Pat Wilson have my votes, as i'm self disqualified as i pretty much write these goofy things every damn day.

Would like to see some more, as i'm pretty sick of the politick shitck, as i believe most of USAll r as of late.

gotta make use of daylight right now   late

 
 
 
Enoch
9  Enoch    5 months ago

Two peanuts were walking down the street.

Suddenly, one of them was assaulted (a salted). 

Poem:

I eat my grits with honey.

Done so all my life.

It makes the grits taste funny.

But keeps them on my knife.

New Perfume fragrance.

Aroma like roasted horse.

Its called, "Eau de Doo Dah Day".

E.

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
9.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Enoch @9    5 months ago

Sounds like a Camp Town Honey...

 
 
 
Enoch
9.1.1  Enoch  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @9.1    5 months ago

LOL.

Good one!

E.

 
 
 
Just Jim NC TttH
10  Just Jim NC TttH    5 months ago

384

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
10.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Just Jim NC TttH @10    5 months ago

Hold on. The room is spinning. I need to get my beerings...

 
 
 
Ender
11  Ender    5 months ago

Interesting thread...

384

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
11.1  author  Citizen Kane-473667  replied to  Ender @11    5 months ago

You beet me to it!

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
12  author  Citizen Kane-473667    5 months ago

Where do the best jokes come from in a computer class?

JAVA script...

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
13  author  Citizen Kane-473667    5 months ago

If you are trying to cook dinner and it is just too much for you to handle all at once, what seasoning should you grab?

You could always add some Thyme,

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
14  author  Citizen Kane-473667    5 months ago

I'm feeling sort of melon-choly tonight...

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
14.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Citizen Kane-473667 @14    5 months ago
melon-choly

don't think that water-dog is gonna hunt without some season-ing

 
 
 
It Is ME
15  It Is ME    5 months ago

This is the sealiest thing I've ever read. jrSmiley_18_smiley_image.gif

Does that Koalify ? jrSmiley_87_smiley_image.gif

Oh the Humanatee ! jrSmiley_97_smiley_image.gif

 
 
 
cobaltblue
16  cobaltblue    5 months ago

I've never sausage terrible puns. 
"I hate Mexican food" ... said no Juan ever.

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
16.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  cobaltblue @16    5 months ago
've never sausage terrible puns.

yea, well show US your

LINK   ///?     or      PATTY ///?

 
 
 
cobaltblue
16.1.1  cobaltblue  replied to  igknorantzrulz @16.1    5 months ago
yea, well show US your LINK   ///?     or      PATTY ///?

This scampi happening! I drank some food coloring yesterday. I feel like I dyed a little inside. 

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
16.1.2  igknorantzrulz  replied to  cobaltblue @16.1.1    5 months ago
scampi

oh it Ken, like Barbi with Kung Fu grip grabbin his noodle till El Dante's fire, spews out of Alfredo, too brave to harvest his own cream, of the crop he planted and sowed, as he stoked n stroked it till it trumped the other cards dealt, like a fir trader stripped while wearing stripes, dancing round polls till awarded the pol position with a checkered flag surrendering his checkered past time, till the final dance,

Lap made him come with heavy pants

too wet, and tiny, to be shrimp tossed salad

on a fat fckn high knee...

.

so, i'll go with patty n scamper on and get off my link, till he shoots white ink at calamari

 
 
 
Citizen Kane-473667
17  author  Citizen Kane-473667    5 months ago

I've been told the food sucks in jail. All this time I've been worried about Bubba...

What do you get when you grab a ham out of the freezer?  Pulled pork...

The Barista asked me "How can I help you". I told her "You can't. I have a latte problems".

What do you call yolk-free gluten-free pasta? An impasta!

Why did the fisherman quit fishing?  He pulled a mussel.

 
 
 
Nona62
18  Nona62    5 months ago

Eat every carrot and pea on your plate...

 
 
 
igknorantzrulz
18.1  igknorantzrulz  replied to  Nona62 @18    5 months ago

is that you Jenny...

plus, now you don't need to rinse before loading washer 

 
 
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