FOOD FIGHT!
Lettuce have some pun!
Okay, I'm tired of all the hash slinging on the Politics and News page so I thought this would be a fun little contest. The rules are simple:
- Your pun MUST NOT be about Politics or Politicians. They aren't very punny anyway!
- FOOD and DRINK will get special merit because they can be so much harder to work in to a pun. It's hard so, butter nut squash the attempts even if they aren't all that great!
- If it makes you groan, its probably a terrible pun, but even those can be fun! It's not like we are getting paid a celery for our work here!
- While banana's have a lot of a peel, let's try to avoid the slippery slope they cause by getting hung up on one fruit. Or vegantable.
- We'll let the crowd decide who gets their just desserts by giving Votes Up. Think of it as Thanks Giving for their efforts!
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Yeah I clipped that pic from this page :
These Thanksgiving Puns are Plucking Hilarious
My wife wanted a big ring for our wedding so I got her this one:
5 carrots, wow !
with emeralds!
Sounds kind of Lagasse
OMG a vegan throwing star!!
BOY them ninja are tricky!
A vegan extremist..
Who knew?
looks like a used spoiling toupee
Last night my son asked what was for dinner. I told him "Go Fish".
During the Cold War the Soviet Union tried to gobble up Turkey 🦃 🇹🇷 Greece 🇬🇷(grease)
Looks like Texas won the Cold War...
As a Californian, I hope so!
Want me to send you some Cali-flower???
Do you want some cheese on your Cali-flower?
It was an emotional wedding.
Even the cake was in tiers.
Yeah, but no one was wining about it,
Scrambled eggs look like a bunch of mixed up kids to me...
watts a pun, ?
Enlightenmeant for a properly ground faulted nun, whose flying aspirations were swallowed up, hole, buy A doe nut, sole low under a buck, with a nice rack hanging like a pear of orange ewe glad i wasn't eye in apples in a round about pie eyed fruity weigh stationed in a circular disco that served duck in a mobile home parked in a Field for Salley to land. Land she did, in lakes of buttered Korn , bred from aMazingly husky Indians meating with Army kernels, stalked like celery buy the tribe, sold by the stalk, smelling like Roses' freshly D Livered with unappealing layers of onions, with all bean mushed and mashed into a small room without a view on how to get that nun airborne for the 82nd time. They tried Smokey signals but the Bandit had vaporized. No one found Glea, not even his son.
N then,there again, their was
Nun, in a field ,
where she tripped
n went flying head over h eels all electrifried deep into space, her final frontier.
I herd her fall was broken, but the saddle hurt like hell!
she got re enriched that Winner, as she would Spring back after taking that Fall, off of that saddle, butt, woodn't ewe, asz some, herr
included , learned that if seasoned properly, A
"Torrid Autumn" could be avoided.
Hope this isn't political but I hope for whirled peas.
Peas be unto you!
So far HA and Pat Wilson have my votes, as i'm self disqualified as i pretty much write these goofy things every damn day.
Would like to see some more, as i'm pretty sick of the politick shitck, as i believe most of USAll r as of late.
gotta make use of daylight right now late
Two peanuts were walking down the street.
Suddenly, one of them was assaulted (a salted).
Poem:
I eat my grits with honey.
Done so all my life.
It makes the grits taste funny.
But keeps them on my knife.
New Perfume fragrance.
Aroma like roasted horse.
Its called, "Eau de Doo Dah Day".
E.
Sounds like a Camp Town Honey...
LOL.
Good one!
E.
So good to see you again!
A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bowl of peanuts told him he was handsome and looking very good. A little freaked out, he asks the bartender "Whoa, what is with the peanuts?" The bartender tell him "They are complimentary".
That's a good one!!
Perfect fit your great humor!
Hold on. The room is spinning. I need to get my beerings...
Interesting thread...
You beet me to it!
Where do the best jokes come from in a computer class?
JAVA script...
If you are trying to cook dinner and it is just too much for you to handle all at once, what seasoning should you grab?
You could always add some Thyme,
I'm feeling sort of melon-choly tonight...
don't think that water-dog is gonna hunt without some season-ing
This is the sealiest thing I've ever read.
Does that Koalify ?
Oh the Humanatee !
I've never sausage terrible puns.
"I hate Mexican food" ... said no Juan ever.
yea, well show US your
LINK ///? or PATTY ///?
This scampi happening! I drank some food coloring yesterday. I feel like I dyed a little inside.
oh it Ken, like Barbi with Kung Fu grip grabbin his noodle till El Dante's fire, spews out of Alfredo, too brave to harvest his own cream, of the crop he planted and sowed, as he stoked n stroked it till it trumped the other cards dealt, like a fir trader stripped while wearing stripes, dancing round polls till awarded the pol position with a checkered flag surrendering his checkered past time, till the final dance,
Lap made him come with heavy pants
too wet, and tiny, to be shrimp tossed salad
on a fat fckn high knee...
.
so, i'll go with patty n scamper on and get off my link, till he shoots white ink at calamari
I've been told the food sucks in jail. All this time I've been worried about Bubba...
What do you get when you grab a ham out of the freezer? Pulled pork...
The Barista asked me "How can I help you". I told her "You can't. I have a latte problems".
What do you call yolk-free gluten-free pasta? An impasta!
Why did the fisherman quit fishing? He pulled a mussel.
Eat every carrot and pea on your plate...
is that you Jenny...
plus, now you don't need to rinse before loading washer